You're Okay, I Guess.

Baggage

A.N. — Another sad chapter :( I swear it will get better soon though, hang in there y'all

Chapter best read to sad lofi, so enjoy the video provided above (if you wish).

Other than that, hope you are all having a marvelous day, and enjoy!

-------

GEORGE POV

George wasn't thinking straight. His heart beat out of his chest, his vision tunneled as he raced down the rainy sidewalk, his eyes glued to Clay's snapchat icon location on his phone screen. Just as he thought he would never catch up to his boyfriend, he saw the icon stop. He began to jog, weaving through people as he went, not caring if he looked like a fool. The rain began to come down harder, making his vision blurrier. In his haste to leave the apartment, he had forgotten to bring an umbrella or raincoat, and so his clothes were now soaked through. After about 5 minutes or so, he glanced back down at his phone and saw that Clay was now on the move again, this time heading back towards him. His heart still pounding, George began to sprint, closing the gap between him and his boyfriend's alleged location until-

SMACK.

George crashed into a person walking the opposite way, the impact of his hit almost knocking both of them over, and causing his phone to fly from his grasp. The other person yelped in surprise as George, deeply embarrassed, steadied himself and backed up.

"I'm so sorry, I was just-"

He stopped as he quickly recognized the emerald green eyes that gazed back at him.

"Clay...thank god."

He threw his arms around the tall man. The other stood frozen in his spot, his body rigid and cold. George let go of him, confused, and met his gaze.

Clay's face was pale, his hair soaked. He was shivering uncontrollably. He looked...broken. His eyes showed signs of several emotions all at once: tiredness, anger, anxiousness and grief.

"Jesus Clay, what happened?" George's voice broke.

He reached his hands up to hold the other's cold, damp face. He immediately noticed that raindrops weren't the only thing falling down his face. George brushed Clay's cheeks with his thumbs, wiping his tears.

He felt the other man slump and give in as he pulled him in for a hug once more. This time, Clay wrapped his arms tightly around him, burying his head in George's soaked hair. George felt his shoulders shake, and held him tighter. He felt his own eyes fill with tears, and soon both of them were crying.

"I'm so sorry George."

George leaned up to kiss his cheek gently.

"Let's go home."

*    *    *

Clay told George everything once they had gotten back.

When they sat down on the couch, Clay was still shaking, despite having had a shower and put on fresh dry clothes, so George pulled a blanket over the two of them.

"I didn't want to go. I swear. But I knew I had to, to get him to understand that it was over."

"I get it, it's okay...I was just worried sick for you." George spoke quietly.

He looked back up into Clay's watery eyes, which still held a certain amount of pain and sadness.

"I would have done the same if it had been me fighting for you and not the other way around. You don't need to apologize." George smiled at him sadly.

"I know...it's just..." Clay gulped as another tear rolled down his face. "I was so angry, George. I wanted to do...bad things. I wasn't thinking properly. But most of all, I was scared. I...I was so scared that I'd lose you by doing this."

George didn't say anything. Instead, he rested his head against the American's shoulder. He took Clay's hand, covering it with his own hands. Clay spoke again, his voice almost a whisper.

"I have too much fucking emotional baggage. You don't deserve to deal with this."

"I want to. I want to deal with anything if it means I can help you. If it means I can be with you." He gave Clay's hand a squeeze.

Clay managed a weak smile, kissing the top of his head.

They sat there for a while, in silence, listening to the gentle sound of raindrops hitting the window outside. Eventually, George felt the presence next to him shift as Clay got up.

"I'm gonna go take a nap."

George nodded understandingly. He watched as the other slowly walked towards the bedroom, holding his head. Clay wasn't alright yet, George knew that for sure. But he also knew that he might have to give him space right now, as much as he didn't want to. The bedroom door closed, and then more silence followed as George was left alone in the living room. The rain continued to patter down, the sky outside a bleak, dark grey.

He got up, grabbing his phone and laptop, deciding to do some editing for the next little while. His work was slow and unproductive, his thoughts loud and invasive in his own head. He couldn't seem to focus on the task before him, despite it not being that difficult at all. Usually, he loved rewatching all the clips of him, Clay and Sapnap screwing around in minecraft. They made him smile; made him laugh all over again. But today, he couldn't feel any joy as he went through the footage. In fact, George only felt worse as he played back the sound of Clay's voice through his computer. He sounded so happy.

Just give him time, George. He'll be better after his nap.

After an hour and a half of staring blankly at the screen in front of him, George finally closed his laptop, running his fingers through his hair as he put his head in his hands. After a couple minutes, he looked up and realized that it was getting dark out already, and the rain had stopped.

George tip-toed over to his room and quietly turned the door handle, peering in. The blonde-haired boy was still fast asleep on his side of the bed. He looked peaceful, his eyelids delicately closed, his mouth half-open. George watched as he mumbled something in his sleep, rolling over, his forehead slightly creasing as his eyebrows furrowed a little bit.

George stayed there for another minute, before slowly closing the door again.

He walked over to the kitchen, opening the fridge to take out ingredients to make dinner. He got to work, chopping and mixing and frying things. The silence was unbearable, but he wasn't in the mood to put any music on.

He finished cooking, set out two plates and dished the food out onto them.

Then, he sat down and waited.

And waited.

He checked his phone: 8:03pm.

Clay had been asleep for five hours.

Finally, he tried to eat some of his food, but found that he wasn't that hungry. Pushing his plate away, he got back up and returned to the bedroom door, knocking on it gently.

"Clay?"

No answer.

He called out one more time, then carefully opened the door, walking over to the bedside table and placing a plate of food next to his boyfriend, who was still fast asleep. George sighed and turned around, leaving the room and going over to sit by the living room window. He stared off at the glowing city lights, remembering the night he had sat there with Clay on what they had thought would be their last night together. He felt a tear cascade down his cheek involuntarily.

It's okay. He'll be okay tomorrow.

Right?