the 100: bellamy returns

chapter 1: alone

Alone. Clarke is completely alone.

Clarke can't believe she lost Madi. Madi was the only person left who provided her with a will to live. What does Clarke have to live for now? It sure seems like nothing.

And it's not just Madi. They're all gone. Every single person she has every loved has been ripped away from her.

She thinks about those who transcended:

Octavia- possibly the strongest person she has ever met, and someone she formed an unlikely friendship with.

Raven- the girl willing to make the tough calls just like her. Clarke cherishes their friendship more than she ever believed she would.

Gaia- the only person who loved Madi as much as she does.

Miller- a man who has endured the difficulties on earth for as long as she has.

Jackson- an incredible person who happens to be one of the last ties to Clarke's mother.

Echo- the spy with a tough exterior, but who also cares deeply for others.

Murphy- oh Murphy. Clarke never thought she could be friends with that selfish survivalist, but Emori really changed him for the better.

Emori- a determined woman who overcame numerous obstacles to become the amazing person she is now.

Indra- the best warrior there is. Clarke also knows she was always there for Octavia, even during her darkest times.

Niylah- the girl who reminded Clarke that someone as broken as her can still be loved.

Hope- Clarke barely knows Hope, but she does know she's just as fierce as her mother was.

Jordan- the son of two of the most incredible people Clarke has ever met. He truly did inherit all of the best traits from Harper and Monty.

And countless others.

Clarke can't even begin to think about all of the people she once loved dying, it hurts far too much. Just the thought of them dying feels like a knife stabbing into her already shattered heart.

But, that one death draws her attention like no other. She can't escape it now that she is alone with her thoughts.

She thought the worst of times had passed when she killed him, when she killed Bellamy Blake. Oh how wrong she was.

Now she has nothing, no one.

Clarke's inescapable thoughts begin to press in around her. She's drowning in emotion, in grief and guilt.

Clarke hasn't had any time to sit down and really think about what she did to Bellamy; she was busy worrying about Madi. She was busy delivering justice for the death of her daughter. She was busy trying to save the world. That attempt, of course, was unsuccessful.

Not only does she have to live alone, but she also has to live knowing she shot her best friend in the heart. Ironic, right? She was the head, and he was her heart. He kept her grounded. Bell was always there to pick her up when she fell down. When the tough calls had to be made, he made them with her. With Bellamy around, she was never alone.

The focus of Clarke's sadness constantly switches between Madi and Bellamy. Back and forth, back and forth. Back and forth, back and forth.

Clarke is heartbroken because she knows that she'll never see Madi again. She is grateful, though, that Madi transcended and can live again. She desperately wants to see her daughter, but she can live with the thought that Madi is alive and happy.