The Skeleton In Me

Chapter Twenty-Eight

"I already ate earlier with mom. Jace will be picking me up in a few minutes and I most likely won't be back before mom comes home."

I hand Cousin the plate of eggs and toast, and he holds it, his pale fingers barely clutching the sides of the dish, and I watch him carefully to make sure he doesn't purposely drop it, or throw it.

My eyes are glued to him as I ask her, "Where are you going?" Just to make conversation, and in hopes that maybe Jace could drive me and Cousin somewhere.

Katie pulls out a jar of strawberry jam from the fridge, and sets it on the kitchen table. I lead Cousin to sit beside me, and watch as he gently copies my movements by placing the plate on the table. 

Katie sits on my other side, making sure to not even look at Cousin, as I'm sure she's feeling his narrow gaze boring into her skin.

I've gotten used to his daunting looks. She, obviously, hasn't.

"Store. I want to look at a few furniture pieces for our apartment, and then probably the gym." Her eyes are stuck on her cellphone, most likely waiting impatiently for Jace to arrive.

"Can you guys drive me and Cousin to the park?"

"The park?" She glances up at me, "Is that really where you should be going right now?"

"What else are we supposed to do? Cousin needs to keep walking, I can't just lock him up in my bedroom."

"Yeah but, I mean, what if those men are after you?"

I remember telling Katie about Mr. Father, and the rest of the circus desperately counting on Cousin for their main revenue. I knew they were after us, because if I was in their position, I'd be after us too.  

But surely they wouldn't be searching in a park, several states away, right?

"I'm not going to hide for the rest of my life because of a few circus freaks." I immediately regretted my choice of words when Cousin stiffened beside me. He had been The Circus Freak his whole life. I can not imagine the damaging effects of the words. I will never be able to understand.

I made a mental note to take better caution of my words around him. We've known each other for months now, and yet I still forget his circumstance is entirely different than anything anyone has ever experienced.

Katie must have noticed the way he stiffened too, because her eyes softened in a way she only ever did when mom would yell at me for no reason.

"How about instead of the park, Jace can take you to the trails behind his grandparents old property?" Jace's grandparents bought and sold empty farm land for a living. They owned several old farm houses, and one of the properties had several trails behind it. Katie and I would hike the trails every summer, but due to being unkept, they were messy, and hard to navigate with all the manifestation of plants and weeds. I had no doubt nobody would be on them, but they weren't exactly simple hiking trails like in parks.

I frowned, "They haven't lived there in years, and the trails are all overrun with weeds."

"Makes it more of a challenge." She said with feigned optimism, but sighed when I gave her an uninterested look. "Come on, Bexley. I just don't think it's safe for you, or him to be so out in the open so soon. The trails won't have anyone near, and it'd make me feel better."

I leaned back in my chair, defeated, "Fine, whatever."

"Great. We'll pick you up and hour before mom comes home, so eat a lot, you'll both need your energy." She pointed to our plates, as she stood up, and left the room, her phone lighting up with notifications as she left.

Then, it was just me and Cousin alone in the kitchen. 

I grabbed the jar of strawberry jam, and the piece of toast on his plate. He watched me as I smeared the jam on the bread, and instead of placing it back on his plate, where I know he won't bother trying to reach for, I held it out in front of him, and waited for him to take it from me.

"Eat this." I urge him, and he slowly grabbed it.

I don't look at him as he takes a bite, and instead I begin to spread jam on my own toast. 

We eat in a comfortable silence. It is something I'm very used to, with anyone else I'd feel awkward, but with Cousin, it is bliss, because I am grateful he's eating.

Not long after, we both hear Jace pull up in the driveway, and Katie shouts for us to get ready.

I clean off the table, making sure to be rid of all evidence of Cousin being here just in case mom does come back before we do, and then follow Katie who is already waiting at the door, out of the house and into her boyfriend's car.

Jace looks pleased to see us, as he stares at us in the back seat from the rearview mirror. "Hello Bexter, and friend."

I grin at his stupid nickname for me, "You're look like you're up to no good, as always, Jace."

I see him shrug, as he pulls out of the driveway. "I'm not the one hiding a boy in my bedroom."

He got me there. "Touché, sister's obnoxious boyfriend."

Ignoring the childish banter between me and her boyfriend,  Katie turns her head from the passenger seat to me and Cousin in the back, and asks, "You have your phone, right?"

"Yes."

"And you'll be ready to leave precisely at four o'clock?"

"Yes."

"And if you get lost, you know to call me, right?"

"Yes, mom."

She narrowed her eyes at me, and returned her gaze to the front of the car.

I look over at Cousin, who is watching both Katie and I with a strange expression. When he notices me staring at him, he locks his eyes with mine. There is something about him that is different today, and I can't decipher what it is. He hasn't said a word all morning, and he's done nothing out of the ordinary for him, and yet, he seems different. I know I can't perceive him as the clown any longer, because his abnormal behavior has become perfectly rational to me. He is just another human being that I care for, not just the boy who I stole from an abusive circus. Our history of traveling on foot for several weeks somehow felt like a dream. It is as simple to me as if I had always hid him in my room; that I have never lived without him there.

He is a part of me that I am always alert to, that is something I've known since the day we jumped of the train, but today it is not because I feel responsible of him, but because he and I have the strangest connection, that is morphing into an organic feeling of understanding.

I know I am the only person in the world he somewhat trusts. Today, I feel that more than ever.