addiction - draco malfoy

thirteen

the walls closed in on me, slowly, and i screamed as it crashed down onto emma's bed, crushing her. the blood poured from her body across the floor towards me, as the wall collapsed onto lily's bed, condemning her to the same fate. the blood from lily's body joined in the stresm that emma's had created, and i gasped in horror as it rose up, taking the form of a human, a dementor and then at last; a knife. it lunges towards me and i screamed again, shocking me awake.

i jumped up in bed, breathing heavily. emma and lily's bed was completely empty, clearly unslept in, and my brain muddled to think where they were. at last it clicked, they were at one of slughorn's party. something i had been invited to, because i'd spent all of my time sniffing drugs instead of writing essays. they wouldn't be back for hours.

a face peered out at me from the darkness of the corner of the room, grinning. 'who is it?' i called out, trying to disguise the wobbling in my voice. they didn't reply, instead simply tilting their head to the side.

what do i do?

the voice was silent.

'it's not real' i whispered, burying my face in my knees. 'just breathe. you're imagining it'. i looked up, the face was still staring at me. unblinking. 'just go to sleep' i took a deep breath, closing my eyes tightly. it took a step towards me.

'nope' i gasped, standing up and sprinting out of the dorm, pulling the dorm room door shut heavily behind me. i eyed the common room door at the end of the common room. it had been left ajar, and the pitch black inside seemed to be escaping. i couldn't. i gulped, reaching up to my cheeks and to my surprise finding them wet. i hadn't even realised i'd been crying. a shiver went up my spine, the kind of shiver when you turn off the landing light and sprint back to your room. the kind of shiver where you can just feel something behind you.

so i ran, my fluffy socks skidding along the wooden floor. i slipped down the last two steps, banging my head off the banister. i winced in pain, but i didn't stop running, heading for the stairs that lead to the boys dorms. i made my way up them, and cast a glance back over my shoulder. there it was again. the face at the bottom of the stairs, just staring up at me. it's eyes and teeth seemingly glowing in the dark.

i flung draco's door open, watching as draco shot up in bed. i closed the door behind me slowly, as if being extra quiet now would make up for the fact that i'd woke up the entire slytherin house. 'what the fuck?' a voice demanded noisily from across the room. goyle. 'shut up goyle' draco hissed, jumping out of bed and walking quickly towards me. 'what's wrong?' he whispered in my ear, wrapping me in a tight hug. i said nothing, burying my face in his shoulder and sobbing quietly. 'goyle go to sleep' draco ordered, seeing he had stood up. 'don't worry, i'm planning on it' he scoffed, stuffing his feet into shoes. 'i'm going to sleep in the common room'. he rolled his eyes at me as he shoved past, bashing me with his shoulder to get to the door. i winced, watching as he stormed out.

he left the door open behind me and i quickly shut it. 'can i lock it?' i pleaded.
'blaise and crabbe will be back soon, they're at slughorn's thing. they'll be pissed if they can't get in' draco hesitated. 'please?' i looked up at him and he shook his head, turning to get the key off the hook. 'crabbe and blaise are going to kill me tomorrow morning' he muttered as he locked the door. i walked over to his bed, lying down and tucking my knees immediately up to my chest. he didn't ask what happened, he just walked over and wrapped his arms around me; pulling the covers over us both.

he rubbed his thumb against my shoulder, his breath hot on the back of my neck. 'it's okay' he whispered 'really elizabeth, you're okay'.

i awoke the next morning to the noise of banging on the door, and i had to bite back a scream. 'it's the man' i hissed.
'what?' draco asked sleepily. he shook his head at me, standing up and walking over to the door. 'draco you prick, let us in' blaise demanded. it was blaise. draco unlocked the door with a click, and at once all three of them piled in the room. 'we had to sleep in the common room with goyle, why the fuck did you lock the door?' crabbe moaned. blaise surveyed the room, his eyes finally settling on me. 'i know why' blaise hissed, 'really draco? you made us all sleep in the corridor just to get in rollins' pants?'.
'no i didn-' draco protested.
'oh my god' blaise said slowly 'she wasn't high was she? you haven't been giving her drugs?'
'no it wasn't like that' i jumped up now, walking towards blaise.

'i'll walk you back to your dorm' blaise said slowly, his jaw tight. i looked to draco, unsure of what to do and he sighed. 'just go with blaise'.

i turned begrudgingly, following blaise out of the dorm and into the corridor. 'look, i kind of knew something was going on between you and malfoy. i knew you'd been sleeping in our dorm on saturday nights. but i figured that was just because neither of you were going to the parties and you didn't want to sleep alone. if he's been giving you drugs and taking advantage of you-'. i laughed.
'i'm not fucking draco, and he's not giving me drugs'. it was only a small lie. one of those statements was true anyway, so it evened it out. 'anyway, why do you care?'.
'you kept me a secret' he shrugged 'in more ways than one. i suppose i kind of owe you'.
'well he wasn't doing anything, so you should probably apologise when you get in'. he shrugged, looking unbothered. i should have been unbothered too, but i felt overwhelmingly guilty. i'd presumed that blaise had known about the cocaine, i hadn't really thought. i knew he wasn't worried about me, not really. he was worried that if the school found out i was an addict, they'd want to know how it started. he was worried i'd grass him up.

'look' i turned to him 'maybe i am on the drugs again, but i won't grass you up. no matter what. so you don't have to worry'. blaise's eyes widened.
'are you crazy elizabeth? are you trying to kill yourself?' i shrugged. i wasn't trying to kill myself, but i also wasn't opposed to it. 'is it draco that's been giving them to you?'.
'no' i said quickly 'draco's been trying to get me to stop'.
'are you sure?' he asked.
'look' i hissed 'you can't pull this card. you got me addicted in the first place'. i was crying again now, i don't know what was wrong with me nowadays. i'd always been crazy, but i'd always hidden it well. i'd hidden everything well. i seemed to be out of control recently.

i turned, running down the corridor and into my dorm. lily and emma turned from the homework project they were working on together as i walked in, looking at me. emma's face immediately became a mask of concern and lily continued her cutting out, shaking her head as if she knew better. 'silly elizabeth' she muttered.

i haven't updated this in ages i'm so sorry i've been so busy with college and my mental health has gone to shit i love you all pls don't hate me.