addiction - draco malfoy

two

'el?' emma's head popped around the door apprehensively, the now mid-morning sunlight illuminating her skin. my eyes were focused now, whatever the voice in my head said, this was definitely emma.

fuck you. fuck you for making me sleep up here all night because i didn't think it was emma.

how is it my fault? i'm inside of you, if your eyes weren't working properly then i couldn't see shit could i?

'you need to come down to the dorm'. her eyes widened, taking in the fact i was sat in the tower in nothing but my bra and jeans. although the sun had been gently warming me for the past half hour, i was still numb with the cold. 'how did you know i was here?' i asked lightly, trying to pretend i hadn't been having a conversation with myself in my head. if the voice even was myself. she ignored the question, pulling off her jacket and handing it to me. this time i took it without question, gratefully wrapping it around my shoulders and zipping it up. i was safe.

she reached her arm out and i took it obediently, linking hands with her the way we used to when we were younger. i was glad she'd offered, because even though i was shockingly sober right now, there's no way i could have got down the stairs on my own. the corridor was surprisingly busy, considering it couldn't have been that late on a saturday morning. emma squeezed my hand reassuringly as we walked along the corridor back towards the dorm, hesitating slightly as we passed crabbe, blaise and goyle. the same group that had bullied her relentlessly after she'd came out as gay, and here she was, walking along holding hands with a girl. malfoy was nowhere to be seen.

'priceless' hooted crabbe, slapping blaise on the back 'she's got herself a girlfriend! and rollins of all people, nobody would have thought she'd be a dyke'. i felt emma tense up next to me, her hand automatically dropping mine. 'fuck off crabbe' i spat back, standing in front of emma as though i could physically block the words from hurting her, 'do what if i'm dating emma? lucky me, she's hot as fuck. don't be a prick just because nobody as hot as her wants to get in your pants.' i turned away, taking emma's hand again and starting to tug her away. the group shouted with laughter behind me, collectively pushing crabbe between them. 'nice one rollins' blaise called after me 'threesome?'. i gave him the finger over my shoulder, not bothering to turn back to look at him. 'faggot' goyle added witheringly, making emma flinch as we walked away.

we barely made it into the common room before she started crying, but i wiped her cheek furiously, refusing to let her cry until we reached the privacy of our dorm. i'd noticed malfoy wasn't with them, so there was a good chance he could pop up in the common room at any minute. the last thing she needed was for them to see how much they'd bothered her. i closed the door softly behind us, letting emma walk over and flop down on her bed, burying her face in her pillow. she sniffed into the pillow, and my heart broke as her back moved up and down. she was obviously crying. i watched as she removed the pillow from her face, taking in a deep breath of air before breaking back into noisy sobs. her eyelashes were spiky from crying, her cheeks and lips pink and puffy.

'ems' i whispered tentatively, sitting down gently on the bed next to her and forcing her to sit up. i wrapped my arm around her shoulder, letting her rest her chin and the dip of my shoulder. 'you shouldn't have done that' she sighed sadly, staring down intently at the friendship bracelet around her wrist. i looked at the matching one on mine and smiled slightly.

see. a clone wouldn't have a friendship bracelet.

unless they'd stole it.

shut up. it's emma.

if you say so.

'of course i did' i squeezed her shoulder 'you're my best friend, i couldn't let them say that about you'.
she reached her hand up, wiping a tear away that was slowly sliding down her cheek. 'they're going to tell everyone we're together. everyone's going to think your gay too'. i shrugged, leaning into her.  'ems, there's nothing wrong with being gay' i said slowly and her chin wobbled with a second round of tears that were threatening to spill. 'everyone else thinks there is' she protested. her lip was wobbling now. 'not everyone. just malfoy's gang. and they don't count anyway, they're a bunch of egotistical arse holes. the literal dictionary definitions of peaking in high school. they're probably gonna grow up to be fucking cleaners in azkaban or some shit'. the side of my lip twitched, picturing them wearing cleaners overalls and mopping up prisoners piss. emma was clearly having the same thought because she snorted suddenly, causing a little bubble of snot to explode out of her nose. 'you're so gross' i laughed and she began to laugh with me.

she laughed so hysterically that it took me a good minute or so to realise that she'd actually started crying again. i sighed, reaching my hand up from her shoulder to the side of her head and stroking her hair. 'just cry ems, cry it out' i told her softly, and she did.

i waited until she'd cried herself to sleep until i gently pushed her off my shoulder and into bed, tucking the covers over her. i felt a pang of guilt, realising she probably hadn't slept last night after she'd realised i was missing. stupid brain, making me think my best friend was some kind of alien imposter. i'd have to watch out, or i'd be taking luna lovegood's role as the school crazy. although the drugs didn't help.

the thought of drugs reminded me what i had planned to do and i started over to the wardrobe. i pulled it open, sliding my suitcase out of it's place in the back corner. i scrubbed at the floorboard, second to the left in the very back, digging my nails under the edge to lift it up. i attempted to be as quiet as possible, if i woke emma up i'd have to explain what i was doing, and that was not a conversation i wanted. the corner of the board lifted and i almost dropped it in surprise when i was greeted with an empty hole. last night must have been my last fix. fuck. i put the floorboard and suitcase back carefully before leaning against the wall, chewing on a hangnail. i'd have to get more, as much as i hated the fact i'd have to speak to him.

i got changed as quietly as possible, tiptoeing out of the dorm room and back towards the corridor me and emma had just left. they were still in the exact same place. i walked over, tapping him on the shoulder much more confidently than i felt. 'what' he snapped, turning around and glaring at me. 'can i talk to you for a second?' i looked at crabbe and goyle pointedly, before turning back to him 'alone?'.
'oooooooh' crabbe grinned, shaking blaise by the shoulders 'she's come to accept your offer for a threesome after all, lucky you blaise. not everyone can say they've fucked the elizabeth rollins'. blaise shook his head, walking down the hallway and obviously expecting me to follow him. i did and he didn't stop until we were all the way around the corner where it was nearly deserted.

'what do you want' he said flatly, leaning against the wall, 'i haven't got all day'.
'i'm out' i whispered, glancing behind me to check lily or emma weren't lurking down the corridor somewhere. if they heard this conversation they would literally kill me. 'and?' blaise snapped 'i told you i wouldn't deal to you anymore, are you fucking crazy? after everyone found out about your overdose a few weeks ago i'm lucky to still even be here'. i rolled my eyes at him, sighing and tipping my head back against the wall. 'i would never rat you out, you know i wouldn't'.
'that's not the point' he replied sharply, looking around the corridor, 'you nearly died. you can't just start pulling me away from my friends in the corridor in the middle of school to ask me for drugs. if anyone finds out i'm the one who got you the drugs that time i'm finished.'
'nobody will find out' i promised, smiling at him as convincingly as i could. 'don't be a dick. i just need a little bit, to put me over until i find a new dealer'. he shook his head, standing up properly again and looking at me in a way that suggested this conversation was very much over. 'sorry, i can't. it got way too heavy. if i'd known you'd become an addict i would have stopped dealing to you months before the overdose'.
'don't say that. i'm not a fucking addict' i hissed, but blaise only shrugged in response. he pulled his bag back over his shoulder, brushing past me and starting to walk back down the corridor. 'blaise' he kept walking, making his way down the corridor again. 'blaise' i called this time, making several people turn to look at me. i didn't really care though. blaise looked back, giving me an apologetic look that fast turned into an angry one when he noticed the attention i'd attracted, before turning the corner.