NASCAR One Shots

15. Fuckin' Perfect- Alex Bowman

I was so angry, I had the race won, that was until Joey Logano decided to get into my rear quarter panel and spin me out. I got out of my car, taking off my helmet and throwing it into the car, cursing as the Saftey workers and NASCAR officials walked up. "I'm fine." I say before following them to the ambulance. I knew there would be reporters there, waiting for me to come out and do an interview. I didn't want to, I just wanted to go back to the RV and go to bed. I walked out and saw Jamie Little standing there, I rolled my eyes and stopped walking. "I'm standing here with Kaylie Logano, Kaylie, we're glad to see you're okay, can I get your take on the race today?" I looked at her and forced a smile. "Our Ally Chevrolet Camaro was amazingly fast. We definatly had the speed and the fuel to win." I said taking a drink of my water. "I know how haven't been able to see the replay on the crash, but can you speak on that?" I looked directly into the camera. "No, I haven't seen the replay, but I will say this, Joey has made a name for himself, he owns up to not having any friends on the track. Now, now he has no family out there either, and as far as my 48 team is concerned, we owe you one Joey." I said my peace and walked away. I didn't go to the garage to talk with my team, I went straight to my RV. I took a hot shower and got into my PJ's as I heard the door open. I walked out into the kitchen to see Alex standing there, his fire suit hanging from his waist. He took me into a hug and held me there. For the first time, I wanted to cry, I wanted to let every emotion I was holding in, out. "I'm going to shower and we can talk okay?" I shook my head letting him go. I sat on the couch logining into Twitter, I was tagged in a tweet by Joey.

@JoeyLogano @KaylieLogano wants to run her mouth, but the fact is she has no place on the track. #NoSisterOfMine

I sat there, staring at my phone, reading the tweet over and over. "Hey babe, you okay?" I jumped shutting my phone off, wiping the tears from my face, I didn't even know I was crying. "No, your not. Come here." Alex sat next to me, pulling me into his lap. "Talk to me babe, you know I'll listen." I sighed. "I had that race won." I looked into his bluish grey eyes. "But for the third time this year Joey had to ruin it for me. What have I ever done to him?" I knew he didn't have the answer to that question, but I felt better asking it. He simply held me, rubbing his hand up and down my back. "I just don't get it, I mean, I haven't been to a family gathering in three years, why do they hate me?" Alex pulled my chin up so that I could look at him. "I love you, I can't speak for them, or any of their actions, but I want you to know, that you will always have me. I love you, Kaylie. More then anything in this world."

It had been a week since then, I was currently signing autographs at the Henderick tent with Alex, Chase and William. We took pictures and signed autographs for the next 45 minutes. "Time to go guys." Nathan said walking up to us. I smiled at him standing up. Saved by the bell. Don't get me wrong, I love all of my fans, but I was getting pretty restless sitting there for 3 hours listening to the guys crack crappy jokes and watching Alex and Chase being asked to sign random body parts. We got on the golf cart, driving down into the infield and down to pit road. I saw them, standing with Joey having the time of their lives, chatting it up. Probably about his new baby. I asked Nathan to stop. I got out walking up to them. "Hey Mom, Hey Dad." I said as Joey glared at me. No one spoke. "How have you guys been?" No answer. "Okay, I get it, I don't exist to you, right? I'm the child you never wanted." I saw the guys parked in the golf cart within an earshot of distance. I didn't care who knew my life anymore. "Just tell me, then, tell me what I've always known." "Kaylie that's enough!" Joey yelled. "You're causing a scene." I laughed at him. "You think I give a damn? You're Mr. Perfect, the son they have always loved a supported. But where was any of that for me, huh?" I questioned him, he crossed his arms. "Your acting childish, you know we love you." My mom stated. "Oh, so she speaks, now does she?" My face was cold, showing no emotion. "You love me? Where were you when I had my basketball games? With Joey. Where were you when I fell and broke my arm? With Joey. Where were you when I started my racing career? With Joey and his career. You have not been there for me a day in my life!" If looks could kill I would be dead. My dad stared daggers into me, opening his mouth to speak and then shutting it again. "Kaylie Marie Logano, that is enough! I have had it, I can't take it anymore." Just like mom. She took a breath and started again. "If you want up to support you, then I suggest you do something with your life, instead of trying to steal your brothers spotlight. He worked hard to get here, and he doesn't need you always being in his way. " I cut her off. "That is exactly what I am talking about! It's always about Joey! Joey this and Joey that, well newsflash people the world doesn't revolve around Joey! You think I didn't work my ass off to get here? Wrong. Because I did. But I'm not the perfect child am I? Why is that? Is it because I dropped out of high school and didn't go to college? Or is it because I didn't become the person you wanted me to be? Where did I go wrong? What have I done so badly to deserve all the hate I get from this family?" I threw my hands up. "I know what it was, it's because you never wanted me. I was born into a family that hasn't wanted me around since day one. That's okay, because you never have to see me again." I turned on my heels and walked back to the golf cart. "Let's go." Was all I said. I felt a hand touch my shoulder and knew it was Alex. Before I knew it I was wiping tears way, hoping no one noticed. We stopped at the garage area and I hopped off the cart walking straight past my crew and into the bathroom. I knew I was having a breakdown and I didn't want them to see it. I sat there crying for I don't know how long. I was ripped from my thoughts by a knock on the door. "Hey, Kaylie drivers meeting in 10." I heard one of the guys. I put my arms into my fire suit, zipping it up and grabbed my sun glasses. Mentally thanking Alex for remember to put them back into my bag.

Alex and I stood together on pit road during the invocations. I gave him a quick kiss and hug before returning to my car and strapping in. "Are you sure you are going to be okay?" My crew chief Cliff Daniels asked me. "I'm okay." He gave me a sympathetic smile. "Just making sure, go get um girlie." I smiled for the first time today, putting on my helmet and waiting for the queue to start the engines. Before I knew it Cliff came over the radio, "10 to go, were good on fuel, hammer down." "Will do" I responded, focusing on my task at hand. I was sitting 8th, right behind Alex, Chase was behind me. I knew if we could link up, we could draft our way to the front. "Hey, Cliff let Alex know I'm coming up on his bumper for the push, middle lane, let Chase know to follow." We all took the middle lane and drafted quickly to the front. Alex had the lead I slipped to the bottom lane right behind Joey as Chase pushed Alex, I drafted off of him making in three wide to the bottom for the pass. He came down to block me and my front end caught his rear quarter panel causing him to spin through the grass as I drove by. "Whoops" Was all I said over the radio and I heard Cliff laugh. "Rubbing is racing, he'll just have to learn that" We both laughed as the pace car came onto the track.

I sat on pit wall, thinking about the day, Chase won the race, Alex finished second and I finished third. I had already finished my post race interview and went to victory land to congratulate Chase on the win. I saw Joey walking towards me, he was livid. I stood from my spot on the wall and balled up my fists, if anyway was going to throw the first punch it was going to be me. "What the fuck was that about Kaylie?" He was in my face. "Racing." I said bluntly. "That wasn't racing, you wrecked me on purpose!". "You're damn right I did! You have wrecked me plenty of times this year on purpose!". "Yeah because you don't even deserve to be on the track! Your just a little girl!" I looked up at him, anger boiling inside me. "No, Joey, I'm a grown woman and I sure as hell don't need you telling me what I do and don't deserve. But I'll tell you what you deserve." I punched him, as hard as I possibly could, it was on. Before I knew it I was on the ground, Joey was being pulled off of me by his crew, my crew was trying to drag me from under him and back to my feet. I knew my nose was bleeding and I would no doubt have a black eye but that didn't matter. I walked back to the garage with the guys. Waiting on Rick Hendrick and NASCAR to come bitch at me for fighting when Alex walked up. "Hey babe. Congrats on second." I was lifted off the ground and swung around. "Hey little miss perfect." He said with a grin. "Alex I am far from perfect." He frowned setting me back on my feet. "Why do you say that?" He looked down into my eyes, looking straight into my soul. "Come on Alex, isn't it obvious? I dropped out of high school, I haven't done anything major in my life for anyone to be proud of, my own family hates me." I trailed off on the verge of tears, again. He hugged me tighter.

"Made a wrong turn once or twice, dug my way out, blood and fire, bad decisions, that's alright, welcome to my silly life. Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, miss 'No way it's all good', it didn't slow me down, Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated, look I'm still around. Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel, like you're less than fuckin' perfect. Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me." He took a seat on one of the tires, sitting me on his lap. "You're so mean, when you talk, about yourself, you were wrong, change the voices in your head, make them like you instead, so complicated, look how big you'll make it, filled with so much hatred, such I tired game, It's enough, I've done all I can think of, chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same, Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel, like you're less than fuckin' perfect. Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me."

He placed a ring on my finger. "I know I don't have to ask. I love you, and I am always going to be here for you. Maybe you did drop out of high school, but you did get your GED, college? who needs that when you are exactly where you belong. You love racing just as much as the rest of us, and we enjoy racing with you. Family? You have one, look around. We are your family, and we will always be here for you." He smiled as I looked around the garage. My crew standing around, Chase, William, Rick, Bubba, Blaney, Kyle, Kurt, almost everyone, including Brad, who spoke next, "You know Kaylie, we need at least one Logano on the track with some talent." He smiled over to me as I turned my attention back to Alex. "I know you didn't ask, but the answer is still yes." I said kissing him and the hole garage erupted in cheers and clapping.