Mind the Gap | ✔️

June 28 @ 8:00 P.M.: Iris

It was a trick I had picked up on a reddit forum from several girl friends who had the same problem with their sloppy boyfriends.

It hadn't worked so far.

Jayden was standing hunched over my drawing tablet as I entered the living room. He froze when he saw I came back.

His fingers swiped the screen as fast as they had been pressing his PS4 controller buttons moments ago.

The blurry, familiar elements of my illustrations whooshed over the screen.

Curly hairdo.

Wavy hairdo.

Fifty shades of brown hairdo.

Aquiline nose.

Pinocchio nose.

Greco-Roman nose.

Human ears.

Elvin ears.

Bunny ears.

Only the smile remained ever the same.

Sweet, kind, and admiring.

"Jay-Jay..." I clutched the unfortunate pan so hard my fingers hurt from the effort.

"What's this?" He waved the tablet at me and didn't even seem to register the charred carrots.

"They are just some sketches for my elf protagonist... For the Fairy Tails project. Remember the one you tried to pitch to your dad in January? You know how I love doodling on the train." I gulped, depositing the carrot urn on the used-to-be-yellow coffee table with care.

Why did my voice sound weird?

Almost... deflective?

Was I afraid of his reaction?

Jayden frowned at the bunny-eared, hastily-drawn vignette and I realised he must have recognised it. "Hey, wait a second... Don't I know this guy? Isn't he that... That train crush of yours?"

"Oh, um..." I fiddled with my Tardis key necklace. "Yep. That's him. I did see him often, you know. He just seemed like the easiest choice. In drawing, it's important to have the subject of your sketching before your eyes. No other passenger..."

"That imp? You can't be serious. What, are you obsessed with him or something?" Jayden guffawed, hurling the tablet back on the sofa.

"Hey, watch it, Jay Jay!" I hurried to the device, cradled it among my palms and gave it a careful once-over. "You know I have so many model projects on there!"

"Look, Iris..." Jayden took a deep breath. "Have you ever wondered whether you are perhaps wasting time and energy on these... drawings?"

The question raised an axe and struck me amidst my heart.

"Wh... What?" I stuttered.

"Well, you know, it's... It's been so many years, and you still haven't managed to... make a breakthrough. I pulled some strings, but it wasn't enough. You spend more and more time in that fantasy world of yours. I hardly ever see you. And when you are at home, drawing, it's like you're not... not really here."

That fantasy world of mine?

The axe carved its way a little deeper.

How could he say that?

Had he stopped believing in me?

I always believed in him, and his dreams!

That one and many more angry sentences that would initiate conflict hung about my lips.