Surviving Nyx (C.Grimes/TWD) {{ON HOLD}}

THIRTEEN: Afraid

I roll my eyes saying that we should put Merle in the other cell block, "no. He's got a point." Daryl argues, as Maggie turns to look at Merle, "this is all you. You started this." Beth spoke up and she made her way down the stairs, "what difference whose fault it is? What do we do?" Hershel reminds us that he said we should leave and now Axel's dead. "We can't just sit here." Rick begins to leave, Hershel got up from the stars and yelled at him to get back here.

"You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why. But now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something." Hershel demanded, Rick looked surprised but soon nodded, "alright, we ain't leaving and we're fighting for this place." Rick told the room, "a positive attitude isn't gonna win this war." I sent a glare at Merle telling him to shut up, turning to Rick, "we need more supplies, Noel and I will go on a-" Rick cut me off, "no, I told you that you ain't going on anymore runs, not after last time." I scoffed throwing my hands in the air, "well the prick to blame for last time is now sharing a roof with us, so I'm safer if I'm out there and so is he." I argued, "I said no, Nyx." "Fine." I crossed my arms over my chest, shaking my head.

All I could think is that I should've given up looking for them, after I didn't find them after two weeks. I've put my family in a situation that could get them killed, we were safer back home, Naomi was nearly killed yesterday and it's all my fault. "Nyx? Nyx!" I snapped out of thoughts to see everyone looking at me worried, I noticed that I was sitting on the ground my back pushed against the wall. "S-sorry, I was lost in my thoughts." I admitted looking at them waiting for someone to repeat what was said.

"What?" I questioned after the room filled with silence, I felt something drip onto my lips, I raised my hand up to it before seeing blood. "Shit," I mumbled as Noel rushed over to me with a cloth, I pinched the bridge of my nose to stop the blood, "what were you thinking about?" Noel questioned me, "this is all my fault, I put you and Naomi in some much danger..." I whispered to him as the blood slowed down, "I need you to survive, I need both of you to survive." A tear trickled down my cheek, "I'm so sorry." I whispered, I looked to the ground ashamed of what my actions have led to.

"Don't give up now Nyx, we're gonna survive this, all of us." Noel promised and I shook my head no, "you can't promise that." "Nyx, you just need to fight a little longer, please." Noel whispered placing his forehead against mine, I close my eyes and take a deep breath, "I'll keep fighting," I promised to him. I opened my eyes smiling looking up at him, "what would I do without you?" I ask him as I pull him into a hug, "I love you." I whisper into his shoulder before letting go and Noel helps me up off the ground.

"Are you okay?" I flinched at Beth's question, I always hated that question because no matter who they were, all they want to hear is yes and move on with their lives. "Yeah I'm fine, I'm gonna go on watch." I admitted picking up a gun, making my way past Merle and out to the cage outside the cell block.

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I watch as Nyx leaves, turning to the group, "she's afraid, not for herself but for me and Naomi." I say looking at them, they all seem to forget that she's a kid sometimes, and Nyx's forgets too. "Think about it, she's spent the last year and eight months doing what she had to keep us safe, Mom, Matthew, and now there's a psycho trying to kill us all. She's a kid, she can't just pretend that all the shit that has happened doesn't effect her." The group look sympathetic to my words about my sister, "we were ok at home, alive and surviving." I pointed out, Rick questioned me as to why we left the house in search for them, Daryl admitted that he had left her a note to follow them.

The group seemed stunned by the news, and I knew that this was the first time they knew about this. They all looked at me to confirm Daryl's words, "Daryl's note did give Nyx the idea... Nyx came here for me and Naomi, but I came here for Nyx, to give her a break, to let her be a kid again and not a parent." The group looked a little guilty at my words, they've only just realised how much they expected from Nyx, and just because she can do the things they needed her to do, doesn't mean she should've been doing it. "Anyway, we're off topic. What's the plan?" I spoke clearing through the tension in the room and turning to Rick. "I'm going to do a scan of perimeter, see if we've got any snipers and how many walkers do we have in the field. Then we'll make our next move." Everyone nods in agreement as they watch Rick leave.

"Noel, can I talk to you for a second?" Carl questioned me in a whisper, I nodded and we went up to our cell. "I just wanted to say, I know we haven't really said it but we do realise all the sacrifices you and Nyx made to be here with us." I looked at the older boy confused, I haven't made any sacrifices, it was all Nyx. She's the one who got us here, starved herself so we'd have more to eat, never slept so that me and Naomi could. My sister has done everything for me and Naomi, killing Mom after she got bitten, killing Matthew when he went to kill Naomi. She got shot and beaten for not telling the Governor where our camp was, and not once has she asked help. Even before the world went to shit all she did was protect me, she'd lock me in the closet whenever my dad came home drunk and kept me safe when we were in foster care whilst mum was in rehab after she OD. I've only got to save her once, and that was when two men tried to hurt her. "She's sacrificed a lot for me, she always had and now I'm trying to return the favour." Carl nodded before telling me that he was going to go talk to his dad.

I make my way over to Daryl's cell, he allows me to enter. "I get it." I take a deep breath, "I get why my sisters like you so much." Daryl's eyebrows knit together as he looked at me confused, "you're tough, scary even but you're loyal and protective, like how a dad should be..." now Daryl looks at me even more confused, "look us three didn't exactly win the lottery when it came to family. When we were in foster care for 9 months, we were passed from family to family, most of them were abusive but Nyx took it all, all the pain. It got to the point that she was able to tell if someone was a bad man by looking in their eyes." I paused because Daryl's expression softened at my words, I could see that he really did care about my sister.

"You stepped up for Carl and Judith while Rick processed his grief. You promised to take care of Naomi so that Nyx could get some sleep. And then you left with Merle when Nyx was dying, that's not the man you are Daryl." Daryl looked a little guilty when I stopped talking for a second and let him process my words, "there's no denying that your brother is the world's biggest jackass, but you're loyal to him because he's your blood and I understand that, but. But Daryl he wants you to be like him, he's trying to corrupt you, make you feel guilty for what happened to his hand, but that's no one's fault but his own. You need to decide if having him around because you feel guilty is worth losing who you truly are." I began to walk away, "thanks Noel." Daryl mumbled, "it's what Nyx would want, she thinks very highly of you, please don't let her down, she deserves to have someone like you."

Rick comes back, Nyx by his side.