August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 48- (UwU)

Always the worst thing I can do.

He starts to let go, and as soon as I go to sit up, he slams my head back down, harder than last time.

He says something, but I've tuned him out at this point.

Then he grabs onto my jeans and starts pulling them off.

"Daddy...?" I wince, bracing for the burning pain of a smack.

Fuck... I was wrong.

...

-Wednesday, November 3rd-

I shoot upright, shaking horribly.

I try to speak, but I just scream.

As per usual.

I remember that whole situation so clearly. I also remember that directly afterwards, I walked in on my father sobbing. He was looking at one of my mother's scrapbooks, repeating I'm sorry over and over again to her.

I remember forgiving him, because he was sorry.

Then he did it again, and again, and again... I forgave him every time.

No matter what he did, it was okay with me. Because I forgave him.

And I'll never stop.

I hear a voice, and I can't quite make out what it's saying, or who it is.

All I can think of is my father.

All the things he did...

How fearful I became of his touch.

Being blind and unaware of where he was, or if he was mad...

Only knowing when I saw movement and realized he was raising a hand at me.

All the shit that damaged me, but I won't ever acknowledge is wrong...

Every single thing Damien promises he will never do.

Damien...

He...

He's the one talking to me.

I pry my eyes open and look at him, forcing myself to listen to him.

"...Hey, you're here. Safe with me. You're not wherever you just were, okay? You're with me."

"Dad-" My voice cracks, stopping me from being able to ask what the hell just happened.

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of these nightmares – or, whatever they are. They're almost more like flashbacks. I just don't know what to call them.

I dig my fingers into Damien's shirt, pulling, trying to stuff my face into his chest desperately.

"It hurts." I mumble against him.

He hugs me to him, and it takes everything in me to not wince as soon as he touches me. "It's okay. It's over." He promises.

"W-Where... Where is he?" I manage.

My stomach twists into knots, and I pull hard on Damien's shirt.

My father... He must be coming for me. He's going to get me and hurt me all over again. I just know it!

It quickly becomes hard to breathe.

Just like when he stuffed my face into the mattress and nearly suffocated me with the sheets.

I'm suffocating...