Jameson quality bullshit

dont go

Depression was killing him. Jason had been battling with it for years, almost decades.

In fact, it was about to kill him. He had devised a plan and written a note regarding his departure from the world. The only thing left for him to do is a confession to a very special person. He loved this person with his entire heart even though they treated him like an insignificant peace of shit.

He loved this tall blonde torturer named James. Torturer because that's what he put Jason through, But Jason still somehow loved him more than anyone else.

A lot of factors contributed for what the depressed fellow was about to do, but damn did his love interest was a major part of it.

They were at the studio, and at the studio right beside the recording area were Kirk was recording his solos, there was a lounge room. On a couch far on the back sat James looking at a porn magazine's best pictures of pretty girls, Jason approached him and said he needed to tell The blonde something. The latter looked at him giving him his full attention.

"say it quick newkid."

"Ever since i joined the band i have loved you. I love you, you're everything to me, i know you don't love me, you hate me. But i think i needed to tell this, because i do, with all my heart, i fucking love you." Jason turned and walked away before James could even have a reaction, before James could respond.

And for about ten minutes James just sat there wide eyed and stunned, almost exploding, surprised, he was just a mixing pot of emotions. this could be attributed to the fact that he felt the same, completely the same.

The only reason because he did what he did to Jason goes goes back to the fact that maybe if he treated the person he loved more then anything, more then himself, more then god, the person would hate him, and he in turn would hate this person.

He couldn't like a dude, could he? Well, not just like but he loved him. He stood up and started cheering 'YES YES YEEEEEAAHHHAAAHH I HAVE A CHANCE I HAVE A FUCKING CHANCE HE LOVES ME HE LOVES ME.' and sat down again 'But why would he love me? I treat him like dust. Why would he tell me that? Is he suicidal or something? I mean he does act sad when not on stage, i have seen his antidepressants,' stolen them once 'oh... oh no, tell me i'm overthinking this...' he thought.

James started to rush through the studio trying to find his wannabe-lover "LARS have you seen jase around?"

"he left ten minutes ago"

oh no

oh fucking no

He got in and turned on his car within 30 seconds and was on the way to the Newsted household. He felt tears fall over his cheeks. He couldn't let Jason just go.

James knew that of Jason died, he would not be able to survive. He could not lose him more then he has already pushed him away.

As soon as he got there James slammed the door opened and there was pure silence, except for the heartbreaking sounds of a sobbing mess out of the kitchen, witch he followed.

What he saw was disturbing, heart shattering, depressing and made him feel so alerted, and sad, and mostly got him feeling like a dick, because he knew he played a big part on this.

jason stood on top of a chair, his eyes were shut closed , tears spilling out forming a puddle on the floor. Sobbing loudly and had a rope that hung from the sealing around his neck.

"Jason... don't do this... you're too good for this... please..." He walked over and hugged Jase tightly and didn't let go. "i love you. I fucking love you too, i'm sorry i treated you the way i did, i'm so fucking sorry, i'm so so so sorry!"

"I'M SORRY JASON! I LOVE YOU, SO PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! DON'T LEAVE THE FANS!! THEY LOVE YOU!! YOUR FAMILY!! US! Fuck, ME!!! Please stay, we can start a relationship, have a family of guitars, just, don't dare to go!"

Jason unhooked the rope and looked at james, wide eyed "but... you hate me, What is even happening anymore? Just... i'm happy you actually care under that mask. And you love me..." James let him go just to look him os the eye, witch in turn got down from the chair and hugged James once more.

Even more tears spilled. More sweet words were quietly said. The blonde cupped his companion's cheek and kissed him.

They kissed for a very long time. Jason didn't let go, he was shocked to know that James actually loved his as much as he loved James, it seemed as that kiss was the only thing keeping him from suicide, he held on to it until his very last breath was lost, and even then, he did not let go of the most warming hug he had ever experienced .

"so... you love me... why do you treat me the way you do?"

"because... i was razed in a house were any kind of gay stuff was sin. I have to always prove to someone, i don't know who, that i'm a real man, and somehow loving you made me less of a man... i know it's bullshit, but my brain doesn't, fuck, i need therapy,.."

"we need therapy" Both them chuckled at Jason's little remark, that something that James really liked in Jason, even when he was about to kill himself, he could pull a joke put of his ass, he thought it was sweet. "James, can you stay here with me, just for a wile, i think i need you, just for now."

"up course Jase."

They held each other close. The blonde sniffed and inhaled the others scent, he thought that had smell was the best one ever. "you smell so good, fuck."

And James stayed, for about a week. And the rest is history.

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