Let Me Go

Chapter Ten

Sang's POV

The tattooed man that just walked in can see me.

How is that even possible?

At first, I thought maybe he was addressing someone else and just happened to be looking in my direction. However, then his words sunk in and I knew he was referring to me. He called me little ghost. A Russian can see me.

This is just so strange.

I don't know how to react but this euphoric feeling of safety and comfort overwhelms me and before I know what's happening, I launch myself at him and wrap my arms around his neck and break down into tears. He stiffens at first, either because he is unprepared or not sure how to handle whatever I am colliding with, but eventually he relaxes and embraces me. It's awkward at first. On both our ends, yet feels right.

Kota was my home. Whenever I was with him, I knew I was safe. That he would always be there for me. I'd grown accustomed to shedding my insecurities while around him even when I realized I was putting a burden on him with my sad life. Finding another person who elicits such a reaction, even while I'm in whatever this state I'm currently in is beyond anything I imagined for myself.

"Malen'kiy prizrak, tell Raven all about it."

I can see the others that came in with him looking on with uncertainty, but this man, Raven, isn't offering them any assurances. His sole focus is on me. One of his hands is at the base of my skull, wrapped in my hair, holding it to his shoulder while the other props me up from under my butt. It's an intimate hold. One I never thought I'd find myself in, yet can't find the strength to disentangle myself out of.

"They are going to think you're crazy if you keep talking to someone who isn't really here."

He chuckles at my words.

"It's alright malen'kiy prizrak, they already think I'm crazy. This will just seal the deal."

"Why do you keep calling me little ghost?"

"You know Russian?"

"Da," I inflict enough into my tone to emphasize the word and sound like other Russians.

A grunt, which I'm assuming is him being impressed, is my only response.

"Do you want me to have them leave the room so we can talk? Or are you comfortable with them being here?"

"Honestly, I think it's up to you. You're the one who will have to face the fact you are talking to empty space. However, I have a feeling that once Kota realizes who it is you're talking to, he'll want to stay around to hear what I'm saying. Can...," I trail off, not wanting to just start dumping this on a stranger.

His hold tightens around me, squeezing me a little harder than is necessarily comfortable, but I wouldn't dare tell him any different.

"Tell me," his voice is rougher than it was before, if that's possible, sending shivers down my spine.

"Can you tell Kota I'm sorry and that this isn't his fault? He's been blaming himself for me being in here. That simply isn't true." Tears threaten to fall once more after I've finally gotten myself under control. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me. I need him to be happy. For me."

Raven takes in a deep breath, instead of saying anything though, he plows through the others standing around and takes a seat beside Kota who is staring at him with wide eyes.

"Raven, what in the world is going on?" A blonde boy finally blurts out.

My head comes up and looks at those around us again, noticing that there are two who look just alike. Shifting my eyes from one to the other it's hard to tell them apart at a quick glance, however, if you study them long enough, you realize that there is a slight difference. It's one that isn't glaringly obvious; it's a subtle contrast. The sadness in the one who didn't speak is greater than the others. Somehow he endured something in their life that caused shadows to appear in his gaze that he can't hide from the world. Many people probably wouldn't be able to identify it, but I know it's there because I have the same sadness in my own eyes. Only someone with the same pain can recognize it within others. The urge to embrace him and console whatever ails him overwhelms me.

Raven ignores the boy who spoke, focusing on Kota.

"You know this isn't your fault, right? The ones to blame are the ones who put her here. You couldn't have changed the outcome if you didn't fully understand what was going on at home."

Kota stutters out a syllable, then composes himself and replies. Clearing his throat, Kota says "How do you know I'm blaming myself?"

"Because malen'kiy prizrak knows your heart. Has been listening to you cry about her being stuck in this bed. She doesn't want that for you. Be happy, Little Boss. For her. For your family. Dwelling on what's happened to her won't bring her back any faster. She wants you to live. You're keeping her here."

"Raven, don't say that," I chide. "You're going to make him feel worse. I'm not here because of him."

"Malen'kiy prizrak, you might not know what's going on, but I do. Your spirit is stuck here. Little Boss is strongly tied to you and now your soul will stay until your 'unfinished business' is complete."

"She isn't dead!" Kota shouts out.

The air gets sucked from my lungs, though I haven't necessarily had to breathe like I normally would. I've just been going through the motions.

Is that what's happening to me?

I'm dead. Tied here because of Kota.

I thought maybe I would be prepared for death. Getting away from the pain and punishment I endured at the hands of my stepmother. That was before Kota came into my life. He gave meaning to the world again, gave me purpose. I looked forward to the days I knew I would be able to see him instead of dreading what sort of pain I would find myself in. Sneaking out was worth whatever I might endure if my stepmother found out, even if she just made up the mistakes I was being reprimanded for.

Now that it might actually be a possibility?

I didn't want to accept it.

Didn't want it to be true.

"She," Kota starts then chokes out a sob, "she just can't be. She has a pulse. She's breathing. She's still alive."

Sadness coats everyone in the room, even Raven, though a look of uncertainty twists his features. He doesn't want to throw Kota further into the depression that has a hold of him, but knows he needs to be truthful. Yet I don't even believe him, or I don't want to at least.

"If," Raven takes in a deep breath before continuing. "If she was truly alive, her spirit wouldn't be here. Not like this. I've only ever heard of them coming to witness those suffering their demise for closure. They need to know those around them aren't in pain before they can go on."

"Then you're wrong, Raven. Sang is here for another reason. She has to be. I won't stop grieving until she opens her eyes. That's the only scenario I'll accept. No matter how long it takes. She's too young to be taken for this world by such cruelty. Figure out why she is really here."

With that, Kota storms from the room, pushing some out of his way who didn't move fast enough. Some even tried to grab him, to keep him inside the room, but are unsuccessful.

My tragedy just got a whole lot more complicated.