Chapter 84: Johanna

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What am I supposed to do? Gale insists he loves me but still hits me. I've tried to calm him down, even offered him a punching bag but he wants to hit me. It's getting aggravating and kind of scary. I'm not scared of him but I'm scared of what he's doing to himself. He's blaming himself for loosing Katniss, for ruining our lives even further, and for beating me constantly.

"Johanna" Gale calls and I walk over to him, trying to seem normal. He's been drinking so he's even more dangerous. He smirks up at me, sitting on the bed, legs crossed and pulls me close. He reeks of alcohol, all kinds and he tries to pull me down to him. How did he change so suddenly? He was 'normal' not even a week ago and now he's a lazy, drunken slob. He'll grow to be my, now dead, uncle and aunt.

"Yeah?" I ask quietly, still treading carefully. He pulls me impossibly close, so I'm between his legs and kisses me as sweetly as he can, provided that he's wasted. I try to wriggle away and he huffs. He holds me tighter and kisses me firmly, as if he's claiming me. I look down at him and force a smile on to my slightly bruised face. I cringe as I feel it and he looks genuinely concerned, for once. 

"Are you okay?" he asks still actually caring. I shrug and look into his deep eyes. I can't help but smile, he is really caring, most of the time. His problems are growing with time, and it's making it hard on both of us.

"I guess" I say looking away, does he not notice this? I back up a little and walk over to the tv. Martiall is dead, killed by his own father, and we both blame ourselves. I sometimes feel like I should just leave Gale, but he would probably hurt me, himself, or even worse someone like Katniss or Clove.

"Johanna, do you mind getting me a beer?" he asks casually, I trudge over to the fridge but stop. Why am I feeding this monster he has become? If he didn't drink he'd be more sane and reasonable. I look back at him, he's watching me and waiting. I look back to the cans of beer and sigh.

"I'm sorry" I say standing up a little straighter. "I can't do that, you don't need any more" I say quietly, keeping my voice firm. He looks over shocked and sighs.

"Well I want some beer, get it for me!" he almost growls at me, but doesn't move a muscle. I look at him, keeping my head high and strong. He's not getting a drink if I have anything to do with it. He stands up slowly and walks over, obviously taller and stronger than me.

"I'm sorry Gale" I say carefully "But you're too drunk and you need to sober up" I try to stay calm. He glares at me and I feel my blood start to boil. If he won't cooperate then I can just leave, I can protect myself well. But I don't think I can protect Katniss if he goes after her.

"You're just like Katniss" he yells, pulling me from my thoughts. He looks at me angrily, holding it back moderately well "You both though you were protecting me, and look at you now, you both failed. Miserably" he taunts and I take in a deep breath. 

"You just say that because you're not confident and so many girls have left you" I say, maybe exaggerating a little and he glares even deeper. "Don't blame me or Katniss because you can't be a good man to a woman" I say with sudden rage, letting it all loose "You know you're weak so you try to find the stronger type of girl to hold on to as long as you can! Face it, you can't" I yell, tears barely dripping.

Gale sighs, obviously exasperated and I look away, wiping the few tears I've shed. He walks over, still at the same pace and glares down at me. He brings his hands to my face and that's when I snap. It feels like I've died or been possessed because I can't feel a thing, I just know I'm doing something. My body moves without my consent and I feel a rush of power, The feeling slowly fades and I feel myself pushed onto the ground.

"You think you can fight me?" I hear Gale ask, but  can't see him. I try to open my eyes, but they're not working. I feel his hands on my waist, pushing further into the floor. His hands trail down my chest, but I don't think it's seductive. He rips at my chest and I yell.

"Get off of me!" I scream as he almost sits on me, facing the ceiling. My chest heaves for breath and I feel it shallow, he's going to crush me. I sink into the hard floor and try my best to jump up, it works, kind of. I manage to roll us over, me on top of him. My eyes seem to have turned on and I see him struggling. Maybe if he had been in the Hunger Games he could win but he doesn't have the muscle power at this angle. I've been in his position too many times to count, mostly when I was taken prisoner in the Capitol. They would try to rape me, the said "it would get me accustomed to having Patrons", and each time I managed to get them off.

I might as well play with him a little, another thing that has saved me too many times to count. I smirk down at him, of this'll be fun. His drunken eyes light up with lust, and I pull myself so I'm sitting up on his slowly hardening manhood.

"What are you doing?" he asks, lust evident in his voice. I smirk deeper and run my hand down his face. Don't worry, he will suffer. I lean in to kiss him, my hand slowly traveling to his waist. I pull them up quickly and wrap them seductively around his neck. He's so vulnerable, it'd be a shame if he, maybe died. I sound so evil, I can afford to be, after all I've been through. I shake the thoughts away and look down at him, he's still lusty.

"I'd love it if you talked dirty to me" he says with a sly smirk, I can do that.


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