Men of Honor~ Part 4 of Alexis' Jonas Series

Ch. 10: Be in the Way or A Burden

Alex holds up her hand bending her two fingers in the middle with her thumb out, her pointer and pinky up.

            “Aw…” Joe, Nick and Kevin say.

            She looks at them and signs which Denise laughs.  “She told you ‘bite me’.”

            Everyone but the three laugh.

“With words baby,” Derek said after laughing, “But thank you.  I’m so sorry. This is my entire fault.”

“NO!” she said signing quickly.

“It is,” Derek said.  “If I had just chosen a different restaurant or not started arguing with him.  If I had just left it alone.”  He had tears in his eyes now.  It was clear he felt responsible.

Denise went over to Derek to hug him.  “Sweetheart.  Alex isn’t blaming anyone.  She should’ve had Rob go with you.  She has bad reflexes anyways.  It was just the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“I know Denise,” Derek said.  “But that’s just it.  I didn’t think.  I could have made better decisions, this could have been avoided.”  He was still gripping Alex’s hand with a vice.

Alex felt worthless.  She couldn’t do anything.  Her family doesn’t want her to say a word.  She was sick of this.  She didn’t realize it until she yelled it, “Get Out!”

Everyone looked at her in shock, even Derek, “What?  Why?”

Nick reads her sign, “I want to be alone, please?”

“Okay, sweetie,” Derek said, kissing her hand.  “We’ll be right outside.”

“No… hotel… home.” she signed as Nick said.  “Nothing you can do here for me.”

“I’m not leaving you here alone,” Derek said.  “Let at least one of us stay.”

She knew that they were going to fight her for this.  She remembered last time that she hated being alone, even when it was dark and she didn't know where she was.

“No,” she signed as Nick said again.  “I need to be a big girl.  I love all of you.  But I have to think.  Please understand.”

            “Are you sure?” Derek said.

Alex nods not even being able to look at her family in the eye.

Derek kisses here forehead, “If you insist, but if you need anything, ANYTHING at all, you have the nurses call me or one of your brothers.  One of us will get here as soon as we can.”

She nods.

Alex knew that her brothers were in shock, and hurt.  Alex didn’t want them around, and usually she did.

“We love you Alex,” Kevin said, and one by one the rest of the family repeated this and left the room.

Derek was having troubles budging, but he eventually gave in, kissed her cheek, forehead and hand and left the room. There she was alone again.

Alex lies down, and curls up to cry.  She then knew what she had to do.  She never thought that she would ever do it.  She wasn’t going to cut ever, but she didn’t want to be a burden on her family while touring.  She didn’t want to be in the way.

She waited for ten minutes to make sure that her family was gone, and then she paged the nurse.  While she waited for a nurse to come in, she wrote down the message that she wanted to ask.

The nurse comes in.

Alex showed her the paper and the nurse read it.  “I can ask for you.”

Alex nods and then writes down a phone number and shows her and the name.

“Do you want me to call this number?” she asked.

Alex nods.

“Okay, I’ll talk to the doctor and call for you.”

Alex smirked and waited.

~*~*~*~

Nick knew something wasn’t right and after talking to his brothers, they headed back to the hospital after about six hours.  They just wanted to check on her.

They walked into the hospital and headed to Alex’s room, but when they got there she wasn’t there.  They looked around in the restroom and everything.  The bed was made all neat, and her stuff was gone.

Nick rushed out to the desk and looked at the nurse, “Excuse me, Alexis Jonas? Where is she?”

“I’m sorry, she checked out two hours ago,” the nurse said.  “The doctor released her.”

“Where did she go?” Joe asked quickly.

They were hurt.  Alex was gone.

“Oh,” she said, “I was told to give this to you.”  She hands them a note, which was from Alex’s pad.

Joe takes the note; they step away from the desk and goes over to the wall.  Joe slowly unfolds the note, and there were three flowers taped inside and her handwriting.

Dear Derek, and my loving family,

Don’t worry about me.  I’m going to be all right.  I’m going to go stay with a friend for the next six weeks.  I don’t want to be in the way or a burden to all of you while you’re touring or my love dancing your ass off, and I’m not going to be waited on hand and foot.

Please don’t come looking for me.  I will call you when I can once again talk and sing my heart out.  Please, don’t cry, I’m not going to be doing something stupid.  I’ll be staying with someone so nothing can happen.  I promise I’m not going to cut again.  I’m not going to be killing myself.

I love you guys.  Take care.

Love,

Alexis Jonas Hough

“OMJ,” Nick said.  “I can’t believe she did this.  Why would she run?  We have to find her.”

“No,” Kevin said.  “She wants to be left alone.”

“I don’t care that’s our sister!” Nick yelled and starts to cry.

“Look!” Kevin yelled and saw the nurse looking at him.

He takes them back into the room that Alex was in and shut the door.

“Look.  She said not to come find her.  We have to respect that.”

“But she’s our sister, Kev,” Nick said.  “What if this is just another one of her don’t come find me, but if we don’t go looking she thinks we don’t care?”

Joe sighs, “Kevin’s right Nick.  She’s asked us not too, and she’ll contact us after six week are up.”

“Fine,” Nick said.  “Just give up on her, but if she asks… I wanted to find her.  I was the only one who gave a shit that she just up and disappeared.”  He stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Kevin and Joe sigh.  “Who would she have gone too?” Kevin asked.

“I don’t know,” Joe answered.

They left the room and went after Nick.

~*~*~*~*~

AN: Alex is gone... where do you think she went? Who do you think she called? She does have a lot of friends... and the boys do know who the person is... What do you think is going to happen next????