Starting Over

Violet Meets Chloe

"I'm not in a fucking depression, go away. I'll talk to Gabe when I'm ready." I pulled the pillow over my head to block everything out, but she's persistent and had Toby as a wingman. He snatched away my pillow and Molly hopped over me, now only inches from my face.

"Come play with us... you love paintball!" She bounced again, but being so close to me, ended up knocking me in the forehead.

"What the fuck!" I growled and opened my eyes. She giggled now, rubbing her head and not concerned with my grumpy mood. "I said to go away, won't you fucking listen?"

Suddenly her mood dropped and tears started welling up in her big green eyes. An exaggerated frown spread across her face. "I just wanna play." Her voice was low and whiney, like a little kid.

I groaned and rolled over to glance at Toby, trying to get a little help since my brain wasn't fully functioning and I had a bitchin' headache from the hangover. But Toby just shrugged at me and I realized that I had a different question for him. "What are you even doing here?"

"We're going paintballing."

Hearing it for the second time, I noticed the pinch of excitement in my heart. It was subtle, but more than I'd felt at the idea of anything in the last few days. And I'd been brushing up on my first-person-shooter games. Paintball would be more exciting than gaming all day, and most likely I'd win which would perk up my mood. But if I was going to do it, I'd need something to help me wake up.

"You're thinking about it... she's thinking about it!" Molly enthused. "Coooooome! I'll even pay for your ammo and stuff."

"Fine, I'll go. But please leave so I can get dressed in peace! Doesn't anybody know the meaning of privacy?" I playfully pushed her away.

"No privacy in this apartment!" She gave me a big wet kiss on the cheek and giggled, then skipped away. Toby moved a little slower but returned my blanket and pillow, finally.

"She's worried about you."

"I've heard, but I'm fine," I assured him, choosing now to be modest and cover myself a little.

"You're going through a lot, I get why she's worried. Can I help with anything?"

"Help by leaving. And believe me when I say I'm fine."

He raised his eyebrows in doubt. "I'll believe you're fine when you show us."

Before I could respond, Toby walked out, closing the door behind him. It felt like he'd told me, "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed." He was totally that type of Dom.

Instead of ruminating, I pushed myself out of bed and glanced around the room for something to wear. My suitcase laid in the middle of the floor, empty... I'd already worn everything comfortable and hadn't bothered doing laundry since moving in. At least Vic had plenty of clothes I could use, even if they fit a little big.

I swam through the pile of takeout containers on the floor towards my brother's dresser, pulling out his navy swim trunks and a band T-shirt with the sleeves cut out that he'd owned since high school. After dressing myself I walked to the mirror. My rat's nest mess of hair was too tangly to bother brushing, so I swooped it into a ponytail and grabbed my ratty Yankee's cap. I'd have to wash it after paintball, anyway. Taking one final glance at myself, I noticed how much weight I'd lost. My collar bone stuck out, and I looked paler than normal. I guess that's why Molly said I need more sun.

Grabbing my raggedy cheap running shoes, I headed to the recliner in front of Vic's dresser and TV. As I sat and started putting on my socks, I remembered the unopened little baggy of white powder. I'd snagged the last two from my dealing-bag before going out last night, but had wanted to save one for later. Well, now was later, right?