Isekai 404: Hero Not Found

Chapter 1: You're Late Truck-kun...

I hated Monday. The day simply embodied boredom. You never hear about a crazy party on a Monday. Not to mention it's the beginning of the week... I have to sit here and be reminded there's still more to come.

School was a boring affair. The teachers usually ignored me and my one friend usually did too. I just liked to sleep. What was the point? It's not like I was ever gonna use... what are we learning? Algebra? It's not like I'm ever gonna use the radius of a circle in my life. I was a NEET. I didn't have a life. I stayed inside... all the time.

The only reason I was even in school is because my parents figure maybe they can salvage something out of me. I had to admit, they're absolutely wrong. I'm absolutely fine sitting in my room with my waifu pillows and anime figurines. There wasn't anything wrong with that.

"The answer is C!", my friend shouted.

"Correct Mr. Yusaka", the teacher said evenly.

Rin bumped my arm. I lifted my head and glared at him. Was he serious right now? One of the accords of our friendship was that he doesn't wake me until class is over. He held his hands up in defense and I put my head back down.

"I see Mr. Shingaru is still sleeping... as expected", the teacher joked.

I could hear the class laughing at my expense. I couldn't wait to get out of here.

The second the bell rang I was up and already walking. Rin struggled to catch up.

People always asked him why he hung around with me. And every time, he answered with, "Well, he's my friend." It cracked me up. I even asked him once. He gives the same answer every time... I'll never understand Rin. He was an odd one.

I was zoned out as I faked listening to Rin talk about the newest game for his console when a horn startled me back to life. A bright light was rushing towards me at high speeds and... the radius of the headlight was about 1.3 inches. Who knew? We would need Algebra later in life. Too bad mine was about to end.

I braced for the impact and closed my eyes. There was a loud screeching noise... and then nothing. "Kid! What the hell are you doing?", a mans voice yelled at me. I opened my eyes. The car had stopped a couple inches away from me. Damn. I was really hoping I would get magically isekai'd to a magical world full of cute girls and awesome adventures.

I bowed my head and walked across the street. Rin met me on the other side and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Sasaki, you almost died!", he exclaimed.

I forgot to mention. The cruelest part about my life has to be my name. Sasaki means "abundant joy", and I was anything but. I turned to face Rin with a bored expression. He removed his hand.

"And you're not even fazed", he mumbled.

"What was that?", I asked.

He straightened up. "Nothing!"

I was still bummed out about not getting possibly isekai'd by Truck-kun. That would've been a dream come true.

Another blaring horn came echoing in my direction. It was another car! This was my chance!... unless they stopped short like the other guy. I suddenly realized that this guy would probably just disappoint me as well and stood there, like an idiot. Rin had jumped out of the way but I stood my ground. I was about three seconds too late to realize this guy had no intention of hitting the brakes. I cringed as I felt the cold metal smash into my fragile weaboo body. The next thing I knew, Rin's face was above mine and he was muttering obscenities.

This was the first, and last, time I ever heard him curse. It was actually kinda funny, minus the pain running through my entire body.

My vision started to blur as more people gathered around my limp corpse, and finally, it went dark. I was really expecting a light somewhere. It was just dark and sorta chilly. I wished I had brought my hoodie to wherever I was now. At least I didn't have to fight with my parents about going to school now.

I looked around. Behind me was a large throne. It was ivory... and empty. I walked (floated?) over and felt the seat. Despite its looks, it was extremely plush and soft. I rested my behind into it and the brightest light I've ever seen appeared in front of me. I would've sworn the sun had just made an appearance into what appeared to be my sad afterlife.

"Get out of my seat", a voice said.

Was this God? I hadn't been to church since I was like 6. This was awkward.

"I said, get up!", the voice commanded.

I shrugged and stood up. The "sun" moved over the seat and hovered over it for a second before morphing into the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She had a dazzling pair of...

"Ahem. Sasaki Shingaru. You are dead", she interrupted.

I was gonna say eyes, but whatever.

"Yeah... no duh genius. Who even are you?", I asked incompetently.

The woman stared at me with her shining blue eyes.

"I am the Goddess of the Afterlife, Aria", she replied matter-of-factly.

I snorted. "A Goddess? Yeah right", I chuckled.

She glared and as I looked into her eyes I saw multiple scenarios of people continuing on into the next life.

I exhaled slowly. "Okay... so then... where am I going?", I asked her.

She laughed now and then refocused on me.

"You have two options. I can make you a tree or something, or you can go to this new world", she said.

I thought about it.

"What's in this new world?", I asked her.

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know... magic and hot babes? Is that what you're looking for?", she said sarcastically.

She was being a real jerk...

"Okay then, forget that. Do I get to take anything with me?", I asked.

She sighed. "You can take one thing, anything, with you if it'll make you shut up", she said.

I thought again. What would an overpowered MC hero need on his quest for fame and a harem?

"I want a endless slice of pizza", I told her.

She looked at me. "Are you serious? You could have a magical sword that instantly kills things, or a smoking hot girlfriend, or literally anything else and you pick pizza?"

"It's magical pizza. It's never ending. When I get to the crust it replenishes itself", I explained.

She facepalmed and waved her hand. A piece of pizza materialized in my hand. I took a bite.

"Could I get toppings?", I asked.

Aria was fuming now. "No! Now get going!", she commanded.

When I looked at the pizza, my bite was replaced with more pizza. Whatever. Endless cheese pizza wasn't the worst... at least it wasn't anchovies or pineapple or something. I gagged at the thought of pineapple anchovy pizza.

A light had begun to surround me and I closed my eyes.

This was it! I was finally gonna have a harem of girls with oversized breasts and an undying love for me! This was gonna be sweet!