All She Can Take

T H I R T Y - S I X

"What? Chante! I didn't even know you were going for that."

"Yeah. I love kids. I got a spot and everything. These kids need some stability around here." Chante caused Sid to pause and think about her neighborhood. Put a different lens over it for once. She remembered seeing it that way when she was little too. A safe haven. A place where you could dream, build a life, build love, and have a family. She wondered when she started seeing it as all bad. Probably some time between her father being murdered and leaving for college.

"But do you. I'm going to miss you and my baby though! Give me a hug." Before Sid could consent Chante pulled her into an embrace that pushed the sweet smells of floral body spray into her nostrils.

"I'll call you. But feel free to stop by the restaurant anytime. I owe you a big ass meal."

"I'm glad you didn't forget!"

Sid felt at ease for the first time in a long time. She realized that Chante was one of the only things from her past that had not changed. There was calm in her consistency...no matter how loud and crazy.

***

A half-hour later, Sid lumbered off the bus again and entered Ito to see Roma behind the front desk. She shot her a cold look. Was it part of her job to tell Aiden all of her business? Well, damn...maybe it was. But it didn't stop Sid from being angry and feeling betrayed. If the heir to this whole empire gave the okay then that should have been the final word. Sid allowed herself to stew over it as she rode the elevator to the top floor of Ito. 

She pushed thoughts of Aiden and Chante completely from her mind and let her aggravation be replaced with those flip flops of her belly again as she knocked on the door. Phil opened the door a moment later wrapped in a hotel robe that, on an average person, would hit mid-shin but on his tall slim frame it rested just above his knee. She caught sight of his chest peeking out beneath the folds of the towel and quickly averted her gaze to the ground.

"Hey, Sid. Man, I was worried about you." He stepped aside and let her in before closing the door. Sid entered the small apartment to find it almost exactly as it was yesterday. His clothes were folded neatly on top of his sneakers in a corner. A garbage bag was tied off and neatly tucked beside the front door, a new one in its place in the bin. Sid wondered if his time in prison has conditioned him that quickly or if he had always been this tidy.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I had trouble sleeping... until I didn't." Sid chuckled his concern off. She still didn't know how to just let someone else's concern settle onto her and comfort her. It always felt uncomfortable. Like a judgment of her, even though she knew it was the opposite. Concern meant that someone saw her as valuable to them. Maybe that was the cause of discomfort.

"Oh, you went to Macy's? You fancy! I usually just swing by Dr. Jay's and pick up whatever's on sale. Never really go into the fashion thing. I love a good comfy hoodie and some jeans. You know, keep it simple." Phil always talked a lot but he was on a roll now. Using the word comfy? Sid felt like she knew him well enough now to recognize that something had definitely shifted. This was Phil, but more peeled back. If that was even possible. Maybe even a little fragile. Their talk last night and what they had been through over the past few weeks bonded them. It grew roots and now both of them were being cautious not to trample on it.

"Well, it's where I get all of AJ's clothes so I figured it would work for big boys too." Sid smiled mischievously.

"Oh, so now, I'm a boy? You weren't saying that before." Phil dropped his eyes suggestively. Sid's face grew hot and she trotted off to the little kitchenette. Why did she always run away to the kitchen? That's probably why her hips jiggled when she walked. She felt Phil watching her as she walked away and wondered what he saw. She wanted to be bothered by it but if she was honest with herself, over the last few years, she began to like the fullness of her body. It had beared a child and so much more and still kept on trudging. She pulled open the fridge and peered inside. The stark whiteness bounced around hitting absolutely nothing.