All She Can Take

T W E N T Y - E I G H T

The B62 bus from Fort Greene to Long Island City was a forty-two-minute bus ride. The transfer to the Q100 in Queens was only supposed to take two minutes but Sidney spent ten minutes walking in the wrong direction before she realized. She got to the bus stop just in time to see the bus leave and cursed openly at her phone. The other patrons waiting for the bus regarded her with nods of affirmation. They all knew the struggle. Had probably ridden this bus route hundreds of times to see their loved ones through perfectly parallel steel bars. Here she was, a newbie, stressed with sweat dampening her pits and creeping down her sides on her first attempt. She shrunk into a corner to wait and not bother her fellow people anymore.

The ride on the Q100 took thirty-eight minutes and rolled smoothly over a bridge that stretched across the East River. The bridge was the only way on and off of Riker's Island, a small patch of earth in the middle of the river, that housed thousands of imprisoned people. Like New York City's very own Alcatraz. Her spine stiffened as they traveled over the water. The beauty of it butting up against the harshness of what lay on the other side. She tried to seem brave, like she wasn't shook to the soles of her navy blue Chuck Taylors, and had managed to seem chill, all the way until the bus opened it's door on the island and emptied everyone onto the prison altar. All barbed wire fencing and keys needed for everything. She followed the group, attaching herself to their familiarity with the place.

She put her stuff in a locker like they did. Surrendered her ID like they did. Looked bored as foreign hands slid up and down her body like they did. Eventually, she found herself on a metal stool, her body stock still waiting for him to arrive. Every sound caused her neck to snap toward the heavy metal doors. Her palms ran over her denim-covered thighs before she clasped them again in her lap and straightened her back.

His smile appeared behind the thick glass of the door. Sid rolled her eyes but smiled back. It was just like Phil to be smiling in jail. His gray jumpsuit hung off of him in protest. He wasn't supposed to be here. He settled into the seat across from Sidney and lifted his hands as if he wanted to touch her but thought better against it. The few weeks that he spent in jail already training him to resist the urge to reach out to another human being.

"You smell so good." He breathed deeply and sighed.

"It's just soap." Sidney breathed deeply through her nostrils trying to smell what he smelled but all that entered was the faint scent of her Dove soap. Her skin was known to break out if angry red patches if she used anything — even the faintest spritz of perfume — on her cocoa skin.

"I've been locked in here with dudes all day. They stink, man." Phil chuckled, widening his eyes for emphasis but not taking them off of her. That full, all out look of his caused Sidney to shift on the metal beneath her.

"I can imagine. You holding up okay?"

"Best I can. Just minding my business you know. Waiting."

"Waiting for what?" Sidney had bits and pieces of why he was in here. All vague here-say from Chante and Frenchie but the charges they were holding him on was a mystery to her.

"Trial."

"A trial? I don't get it. What happened?"

Phil peeked around the room. Each prisoner and family was engulfed in their own conversation, not paying them any mind but Phil and Sidney both knew that you could never be too safe.

"This dude from Northside was inching in on our shit and robbed one of our spots. So we rolled on him and got our stuff back and then some. But some shit got all mixed up. Cops popped up out of nowhere and rolled in but I took off." Phil's voice was so low that Sidney barely heard him. It would have been impossible for her to decipher if it weren't for him leaning in close to her. Whispering in a voice that was comforting and familiar. That same low voice not too long ago whispered sweet things in her ear as he moved inside her. She shifted in her seat again and tried to concentrate.