Break My Fall {Newt}

~In A Dream~

The sky was starless unlike the last time I dreamt I was here.

I made my way through the astronomy room without even a glance at what it held. For three years, since the first time I showed Thomas this abandoned department in WICKED's compound, I have always looked at the giant telescope with awe. Because Thomas loved it, I loved it. It was as simple as that. But today was different.

Tearing up the stairs and throwing open the rusting door that led to the night sky, I grasped at the ledge railing with trembling hands. It was then that I noticed the darkness of night was just that; dark. No stars to be seen, not that I would've appreciated them.

I turn my focus to my hands, white from clutching the railing so hard. Fear gripped me that if I let go I'd also be letting go of reality. So, despite the numbness that was beginning to spread through my fingers, I clung on to the ledge .

"Newt?" His voice cut through the darkness. Instantly, I loosened my hold on the railing, but I didn't let go completely.

"You came," was all I could manage to say.

He was by my side in an instance, both hands behind his back.

"Of course I came," he laughed, the sound making me lose my grip on the railing even more. "It's your birthday, after all. I couldn't miss that."

Chancing a look in his direction I noticed he's older than the last time I saw him. Years have passed. His rounded baby face had become sharper and he's taller, but his eyes and smile could never change. I'd recognise him if I were 90 years old and blind.

"Are you alright?" He inquired observing the tension in my body. His smile faltered, worry flooding his features.

"I'm fine, Tommy." I smiled a genuine smile, my hands finally slipping from the ledge railing. "You're here."

Thomas blushed, making his brown eyes sparkle. He tried to hide his rosy cheeks by facing the other way but it was too late, to my satisfaction.

"I have something for you," Thomas said to change to subject.

Before I could ask what he had with a quizzical look on my face, he pulled a small present from behind his back. The package was small and cube shaped, wrapped in paper covered with math equations and was decorated a shoelace tied around it as a ribbon.

A laugh bubbled up from within me. It must've been hidden in a deep part of my soul which locked away my happiness, only occasionally letting the odd escaped prisoner run free.

Taking the gift, I undid the shoe lace, giving it back to Tommy so he could restring one of his laceless shoes. Carefully, I unwrapped the math-riddled paper and pocketed it when Thomas wasn't looking. Anything the brown eyed boy had written was treasure to me. Finally I opened the present. The first present I got since WICKED murdered my family and the innocence of childhood.

"A bracelet," I stated, holding the present in my hand.

Though obviously handmade with uncut threads and glue showing, the brown leather bracelet was the best gift anyone had ever given me.

"Do you like it?" Thomas asked, hope beaming off him. "I know it's not the prettiest looking but I did my best."

For a moment I'm speechless. How could Thomas not tell how much this meant to me? Not only did he remember my birthday, he made me something that must've took time and effort. If WICKED found out Thomas was stealing crafts to make me a birthday present he would've been severely punished. And he did it anyway. For me.

"I love it." I tried to put everything I was feeling into those three syllables. "Thank you."

Satisfied his gift was a success, Thomas sat down on the ledge, flinging his legs over the precipice. I joined him, still studying the bracelet as if it were a pile of gold.

"Oh, and I almost forgot," he said, turning the bracelet over in my hands. "I engraved it too. Look, 'N&T'. So you'll never forget me."

At the words "never forget me", the events of today rush back to me, the happiness I felt just moments ago faded like snow in the sun. Thomas noticed my drop in mood as his arm was around me all of a sudden.

"What? Is it the engraving? I can scratch it away if you don't like it," Thomas suggested.

"No. No, it's not that."

"Then what's wrong?"

Breathing out a sigh, I said, "I saw Lizzy today."

"In the barracks?" Thomas inquired. There was nothing unusual about me seeing Lizzy. Since I arrived at WICKED I had snuck through the compound at least once a week to see my younger sister sleep contently in her barracks.

"No," I said, my heart hurting. "In the hallway. She saw me."

"That's amazing!" Thomas cried in excitement. "How was it? I bet she's missed you loads."

And that's when I broke down. Tears I didn't know wanted to force their way out of me were pouring down my face. Shocked, all Thomas could do was hold me.

Between gulps of air I finally said, "That's the thing, she saw me and just... carried on walking."

"You mean she-"

"-Didn't recognise me," I interrupted, finishing his sentence for him.

Disbelief silenced Thomas momentarily. Then he said, "Are you sure? She might not have seen you properly."

I laughed a humourless laugh. "You didn't see her, Tommy." My tone was empty. I wasn't angry at Thomas. It's reasonable for him to ask whether I'm sure or not on such an important matter.

"You didn't see her, Tommy," I whispered that time but Thomas heard. "Her eyes... She looked at me as if I were a stranger."

Instantly, I was engulfed in a hug. At first I was frozen by shock but then I melted into his arms, clasping at him as if he'd keep me afloat at sea.

Too soon did Thomas pull away. I didn't complain though or ask for his arms to circle me again. If I did, he'd know how I felt about him. How I've felt about him since I was nine years old and ever since. I wouldn't risk that.

But Thomas did.

Reaching out through the darkness of a starless night, Tommy took my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine.

"I know there's no stars tonight," he said, as if nothing had happened at all, "but let's watch the sunrise."