Selcouth | Criminal Minds | Spencer Reid

Part 3: Chapter 3

*Warning: Abuse insinuated
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Spencer Reid: POV

There are precisely 1,440 minutes in a day. And not one of those minutes seeks solace from my thoughts of Natalia.

I'm consumed with reconstructing her in my mind; that woman I knew before we collided into whatever this has become.

She was always full of light, this woman.

The way she stands in front of me now is grey. There's no light in her eyes, they're sunken and dark; narrowed as she slumps into a chair at the briefing table.

She's wearing the same outfit she left in; not that I can judge. So am I.

We wait in heavy silence as Hotch collects the rest of the team from the bullpen. The agents from NCIS seem to be bickering about some bet right outside the door.

I turn back to her, finding her eyes trained on me, like she's looking right through me.

"How have you been?" They're the only words I can find in the moment but they're the only words that matter.

Her head droops into her hands as she leans on the table.

"Not good Spence," She replies, as her eyes finally meet mine.

I nod my head for far too long and it's like we've been sprung back to the beginning. Because I don't know what to say, I don't know how to fix this.

But maybe it's a start, those first few words. Maybe we can use them, to find ourselves. To function together rather than apart.

Although, apart is something I've been getting distressingly well at recently.

Natalia's POV:

I can't help but stare at his hair. It's all mussed. Spencer Reid doesn't let his hair get mussed.

"You need a brush," I break through the silence that had settled once more and reach for my bag.

"My hair looks fine!" He replies, eyes wide.

The quick shuffle of footsteps and we both turn towards the door, where the rest of the team stands awkwardly.

Aside from Derek. Obviously.

"Pretty boy, you should listen to Nat," He smirks "You've been needing that brush."

"Not to butt in, but I've got some hairspray," Agent DiNozzo chimes in before adding "Or super glue, you might just need the latter Doc."

He's got that look on his face now, the straight lipped "I want to laugh but I can't inflate their ego too much" kind of face. The one he uses with Kylie and Morgan; when the two decide to gang up on him.

Everything almost feels...refreshingly normal.

Right down to the look on Hotch's face as he crosses his arms and uses the stare on Morgan, who decides to find his seat in silence.

The rest of the team follows suit, with the NCIS team pulling up some chairs from outside and cramming themselves in.

Emily squeezes my shoulder as she slips past with JJ and it's almost reassuring, the familiarity of it all.

"Garcia, will you present please?" Hotch nods as she strolls into the room.

Suddenly, she makes a beeline for me and I'm crushed in a hug; struggling to breath (only slightly of course).

"YOU'RE BACK YOU'RE BACK!" She squeals, "If you ever leave again, we will be talking missy!"

It's as if she wants to send me into tears and I sniffle a bit before hugging her back tightly, just allowing myself for a moment to pretend they're not her arms.