Solitary

Chapter 43- Speak when Spoken to

"I know. I'm a funny bitch."

Christine won't remove herself but I don't have the energy to remove her either. She doesn't say much as she follows me around the palace. Mindlessly wandering as my mind wanders with me.

"Do you..." she speaks up but cuts herself off with a half hearted sigh. Opening her mouth to speak again but still saying nothing.

"Is there a real reason as to why you hate me?"

"I don't hate you. I don't have room to be hating on anything except the bills that come every month." I say.

"So why is it that,"

"Im not giving you goo-goo eyes and braiding flowers into your hair?" I cut her off. She only looks at me. "You had the preconceived notion that we would be fast friends and bake cookies together and go out clubbing on Saturday's with the girls."

"Well I'm not so sure about that last part anymore." She says.

"I didn't have any friends aside from Amber and Hal and both of them were very much accustomed to using me however they saw fit."

"How did Amber use you?" Christine asks moving slightly closer.

"She loved how much I loved her. And I did love her. She loved the attention I gave her. I think she even thrived off of it. I was at her every beck and call, I gave her almost anything she asked for, if I could." Christine stares at me as I talk and I roll my eyes. "I didn't exactly have a lot of self-respect when it came to her. Shocking isn't it."

"It's not a bad thing to love somebody and show it." She says. "You were young and considering what happened before you met Nikolai, I think I understand you a little bit better."

I'm silent.

"Although I can't understand your relationship with Hal. Are you two even friends anymore?"

"Hal and I, well I guess we were in a sense friends. Maybe. He, like Amber, mostly loved how much he could get from me." I say.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean Hal and Amber hater each other. He loved how he could get her mad, through me. He loved that I gave him attention, he loved what I gave him, material wise. And I knew this." I shove my hands in my pockets as we walk back to the master bedroom.

"But you still let him be around you, and kiss you, put his hands on you. Frankly I always knew he was a bad apple but I never said anything because he was connected to you. Also, it wasn't my place at the time." Twiddling her fingers as her heels clicked on the marble floor. "If you knew, why did you let him stay?"

I pause. Truly thinking about my answer. I hated the truth of it, some part of me felt weak because of it. But I'm nothing if not honest.

"Because at the time it was better than being alone."

***
Christine stayed in the room as I brushed my teeth in the bathroom and washed my face.

"What happened to the clothes I was wearing last night?" I asked as I came out of the bathroom drying my face.

"Those were burned" Christine replies. "It was because of the smell. The pheromones of other people on the mate of a Lycan isn't exactly a good thing."

"If you guys keep burning my clothes, I won't have anything for the winter." I say.

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking Winter had snitched me out to the very person I didn't want to see. I was angry, acting out, in the only way I really knew how."

"Grits isn't healthy for you. I know you do it for the money, but it seems like you thoroughly enjoy it over there."

"I do." I say with a straight face. Christine let's out a sigh as he eyes turn sympathetic. Like she was looking at a small starving puppy. "Don't give me that look. That the look you give to the people who sleep in the subway stations."

"Grits is an addiction to you, that is sad to me."

"I could have much worse addictions."

"I highly doubt that." Christine stands from the bed as the bedroom doors open. Natasha coming inside with a large smile on her face.

"I've never seen anyone have the balls to actually curse out my father like that. That was the most amazing thing ever!" She says rushing over to us. "But I'm happy that you're alive."

"I'm shocked." Christine replies.

"I'm hungry." I mutter. "I need someone to drive me home."

"Why?" Both of them ask.

"I got kids waiting on me. I can't be here all day. I just want to actually enjoy the space that I pay rent for." I say. "I don't even have my own clothes."

"We'll send for them." Natasha offers but I shake my head.

"It took me forever to build up the courage to get myself out of my parents basement and finally get my own place. I want to enjoy it. I just want to sit down in my own clothes, with my cat and dog, in my own house, and play some video games. I haven't been able to do much of that lately."

"Nikolai will be back soon, I don't think he'll be happy to see that you're not here. Especially now that you're marked."

"Well when he's done throwing a tantrum, he knows where to find me." I say and walk past them. Walking out of palace grounds I could feel the stare of the lycan congregation on my back. But I didn't care.

I pick up the pace into a run and jumping, I shift in mid air tearing through the clothes and dash into the woods. Making it home in record time, I sigh in contentment when I'm finally in my apartment.

Bubba and Baby greeting me happily. Out of everyone on earth, I genuinely love them them most. Bubba leaping on me and sniffing me, and Baby meowing from the couch arm rest.

I shower, dress in a tank top and sweats and spend the rest of the day lounging around my home. The open windows letting in clean crisp air that twirled the clouds of smoke that came from my lips.

The marijuana calming me and making me lean back into the couch as the final episode of The Witcher played. Henry Cavill is damn fine, even with shock white hair.

My phone vibrates on the coffee table in front of me. The cracked screen being held together by office scotch tape and super glue. "Damn, I need a new phone."

I lean forward plucking it off the wooden surface and glance at the screen to see Winter's name.

She will wait. Standing from the couch I make my way over to the kitchen sink. Flipping the switch of the garbage disposal I drop my phone inside. The glass shattering and metal bending and cracking. The sound of static before the glow of the screen glitches to black.

Even as high as I am, I could still smell her outside my door.

I think she got the message that we are not good.