Solitary

Chapter 74- Fight Me on It

We are both laying in my bed side by side as both of us pretends to be asleep.

The window only opened a bit for fresh air to get in. But I could see the light of a bed day breaking over the horizon, slowly waking the city up. Feeling Nikolai's heavy arm weighing my body down, I turn to look at him.

His eyes were closed, but I could tell he was awake too.

"Jet lag?" I whisper. The quiet of the morning overwhelming and ever present.

"That's one of the few things that manages to not change through the centuries." Nikolai slowly opens his eyes, despite the jet lag he looked well rested and ready for the day.

"All the sleep deprivation and you manage to come up still looking like a Calvin Klein model." I say as a bubble of laughter leaves my mouth, which in turn makes Nikolai smile.

"Only because of the advantages my genes have. Soon enough you'll develope from wolf to Lycan and you'll be just as tortured as I am." He leans over giving me a peck on the lips.

"That's a trip." I say as he pulls away. "I don't think that would make my situation easier."

"No rush. But I can only hold out for so long." He says. "I want to be closer to you."

"Why haven't you tried?"

"Because the last time I did, you blacked out and ran from me thinking I was your father out to hurt you." He says and I sit up groaning.

"Right. I almost forgot, I have unresolved trauma still." I laugh dryly.

Nikolai still laying down as I turn on the bed to face him. "I'm sorry. I forgot how high maintenance you lycans are." I say smirking. "You need a lot more than wolves like me."

"That doesn't mean I'm not willing to figure this out." He says and sits up with me. "I don't want to be distant with you. It would just be easier if you told me where I wouldn't hurt you."

"The reason why I get so sensitive with my hips, is because that is the first part of me he would grab to get me under control." I say. Nikolai falls silent as I look to him, an expressionless look on my face. "If I fought, or cried, or begged, he'd take my hips in his hand, and he'd squeeze really fucking hard and it would be so hard to walk the next day. Many people thought I was crippled growing up."

I sigh as I smooth my hair out of my face.

"He stopped when I had my first shift. The whole thing stopped. When I had my first shift, I was violent and aggressive, and angry. I shifted in the woods, then came home. I was still in wolf form and when my dad came out to confront who he thought was a stranger, it was me." I laugh.

"What did he do?" Nikolai sits up on the bed.

"It was like he was leaving that to me." I say as I let my eyes get caught in his. "I had the full capability to kill him right then and there. New strength, new form, incredibly impulsive, I'm surprised I didn't do it."

"Why not then?"

"Because, my mother watching. I knew she would only see what everyone else saw. A daughter gone insane and murdered her father, then I would be executed before I could even get away. I wasn't an idiot."

"That's a lot of patience." Nikolai notes.

"It was. For a time I thought I could ignore it, but I realized I couldn't when I kept coming back."

"You think you kept coming back because of your father?"

"There is nothing that tortures a soul more than unfinished business Nik."