What You Caused

19.

***

"Oh stop being so dramatic," Mia tells me as I hide behind the tree, only peeking my head out from the side.

"You're talking about being dramatic?" Grace scoffs beside me. "Who was the one who threw a tantrum this morning when their mom wouldn't let them wear the dress they wanted to wear?"

Mia huffs. "Hey I wasn't being dramatic! My mom was! That dress was perfectly fine for this party, she was overreacting."

I throw my best friend a look "Mi, I saw the outfit picture, with all that boob you were showing, the babies at this party would've all come to you in search for their lunch."

She shoves me hard so that I'm pushed away from behind the tree. "Hey stop attacking me and stop steering the conversation away from you!"

I scramble back into my hiding space before I'm spotted. "You guys don't understand! I'm dressed up at Rapunzel and he's dressed up as Eugene, we're going to look like a couple!"

"And that's a bad thing because?"

"If we look like a couple we're going to have to act like a couple and I can't do that because I don't like Lucas!"

Grace sends me an incredulous look. "Okay I agree with Mia, you're being hella dramatic."

I groan defeatedly and slump behind the tree.

"Look," Mia begins. "I'm sure he's not going to be the only Eugene here and you're not going to be the only Rapuznel here so you'll be fine."

I look up at her warily. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" Mia grabs me by the arm, hauling me up. "Now let's get out here, I want Jello!"

***

Mia was absolutely wrong. There is no one else dressed up as Eugene. In fact, literally no one got the memo about the whole Tangled theme costume thing. None of the adults are dressed up and the few children that are dressed up, are wearing costumes of various other characters that are certainly not from Tangled! I think I saw about ten little Elsa's running about!

Mia was certainly right about one thing however, I wasn't the only Rapunzel at the party.

"Ugh what are you doing here?" Dylan snarls, running a hand through his blond curls. Both Dylan and Aidan had arrived not too long ago dressed up as the Stabbington brothers. I almost stabbed the two of them when I saw their outfits; I had little hope left before they arrived, praying that one of the two would maybe also come as Ryder, but alas the two of them failed me and did not.

"Yeah what are you doing here? No one invited you," Mia adds, her eyes narrowed into slits.

Ivy rolls her eyes. "I'm babysitting her-" She points at one the kids dressed up as Maximus the horse. "So I got invited."

"Look you two are matching!" Lucas grins widely, pointing back and forth between the two of us, completely oblivious to the amount of hatred fuming out of the 5 of us towards his girlfriends unexpected appearance.

"Ugh I know." Ivy rolls her eyes again before looking down at me like I'm gum at the bottom of her shoe. She reaches out and tugs at one of the short brunette strands of my hair. "Isabelle your outfit is wrong, you don't have the right hair."

"My name is Isabella, with an a." I swat her hand away. "And you don't have the right hair either, you're ginger!"

Ivy crosses her arms across her chest protectively. "I'm actually strawberry blonde and my hair is more accurate than yours," she says in a matter-of-fact sort of way looking quite smug.

"No because I'm dressed up as Rapunzel after she gets her hair cut by Eugene."

"Ah," Ivy cocks her head to the side. "You're dressed up as Rapunzel when she gets that ugly haircut." She eyes me up and down. "Huh, no wonder you look like that."

I flinch and so do Mia and Grace beside me.

"Get lost Ivy," Mia growls, stepping forward. She's about to shove Ivy when Lucas briskly pulls his girlfriend to the side.

"Okay," he intervenes, stepping in between the two girls, now getting the memo that his girlfriend is unwanted here. "Ivy why don't you get yourself and me a drink."

Ivy rolls her eyes but does as she's told but not before throwing Mia and I a menacing look. I watch her retreating figure and eye how the costume looks on her. She looks so much better. The dress hugs Ivy in all the right places and is the perfect length, whereas on me, it's super baggy and super long, even after buying the smallest size.

I instinctively wrap my arms around myself, suddenly feeling super uncomfortable in my clothes. My stomach squeezes and I feel sick.

I knew wearing this dress was a bad idea. I look horrible.

No you don't. You look fine. It's not a big deal if the dress doesn't fit right, it's just a stupid costume.

But have you seen the way it looks on her and then the way it looks on you? You look terrible.

I try to shake away my inner turmoil and the unwanted thoughts reeling around in my head but it's no use, they don't disappear. My subconscious continues to chastise me for the way I look, nitpicking every detail and every insecurity I have, continuing to compare me to Ivy. My breathing hitches and everything around me suddenly feels too overwhelming and overbearing; the children laughing, the chatter of the adults, the smell of the party food; it's all too much to handle. It's too hot out here and I can barely breathe.

Grace and Mia immediately notice something is wrong and grab me by the shoulders. "C'mon Bella, lets get the fruit platters outside from the kitchen." Before I can protest, the two steer me inside, past the kitchen and upstairs into my room.

As I take a seat down on my bed my eyes catch my reflection in the mirror beside my window and I'm stilled by the view

You look disgusting. I continue to tell myself. Too thin. Too ugly. You're never going to be pretty. You weren't when you were fat and you're still not even now that your thin.

Tears well up in my eyes and sob catches itself in my throat. My breath comes out in short, fast, ragged breaths and I suddenly feel suffocated. I hear Grace and Mia speaking to me but I can't apprehend what they're saying. All I can focus on is that voice in my head and the fact I can't breathe.

━

AUTHORS NOTE:

So um I don't know if I like this chapter, I can't tell if it's cringey or not and I'm not sure if I portrayed Bella's panic attack properly but uhhh we movveee lol.

UPDATE: righttttt...this chapter is pure SHIT, I'm very sorry, I'll try editing it soon :o

Also wattpad is being weirdddd, it won't let me add songs to the chapters anymore :(

Anyways hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, love you all - Mai x