lovesick || r. lupin

²⁷secret passage

Ayla flipped through her Transfigurations textbook as she sat across from Remus in the library, late Friday evening.

Ayla studied the boys face. She looked at his nose, his jawline, his slightly pointed ears, his mysterious scars, his curly hair, his thin fingers, and felt a bubbling in the pit of her stomach. Her heart seemed to thrum in her throat and travel up to her lips. Ayla even started to admire how Remus looked with his horrible posture, which she never thought she'd think bad posture was attractive. But when it came to Remus... everything felt different...

She'd never felt this way before. The emotions had came so quickly. It was entirely different from her feelings she had when she had fancied James. These felt much more real. More reachable. Not just a daydream. Remus was such a kind person, he was so understanding and genuine and intelligent and she really liked that.

Of course, not saying that she thought Remus fancied her back or that he was easy; but saying that this time, Ayla was actually friends with the person she liked. Not merely an admirer from afar. But it felt terrifying knowing that if she did make one wrong move... maybe everything could come crashing down and Ayla could lose one of her favorite people. She didn't want to lose Remus. But she also knew him and knew he wouldn't completely cut her off if he found out she fancied him... would he?

The thought bounced through her mind as she still stared at the boy beside her.

Bloody hell, Ayla wanted to have a good snog with him.

What?! Ayla thought, trying to blink away the image. Stop it, that's too much! You're sixteen, Ayla!

But then a picture of kissing Remus imprinted itself in Ayla's mind and she couldn't stop think about it and how his lips would feel on hers and how well their fingers would intertwine and how nice it would be to be able to play with Remus's hair and to hold him in her lap and-

"You alright, Ayla?" chuckled Remus, looking at her with his dazzling smile. He had a small scar on his top lip. "Do I have something on my face? You've been staring for quite a while," he laughed again.

"Err... no, no, I just got lost in thought."

"Seems like you get lost in your thoughts quite often," Remus joked. His eyes were a beautiful. She wanted to look into them forever.

"Yeah... suppose I do..." Ayla murmured, quickly turning back to her work, trying to push away the idea of kissing the boy in front of her. And in trying to do this, Ayla started to think about the upcoming weekend and how there was going to be the Slytherin versus Gryffindor Quidditch match... and how there was a full moon on Sunday...

Ayla wasn't going to do anything about her theory even though Grace insisted that she should. Ayla didn't fancy confronting people, especially when it was something so personal. She felt as though she didn't have the right to ask because honestly... it was none of her business.

But curiosity got the best of her.

"So... Full moon's this weekend..." Ayla said fake causally

Ayla saw Remus freeze, "Yeah... It is..."

"Yeah..." Ayla awkwardly mumbled back, returning back to her work.

Few minutes passed by in silence as Ayla tried to hold back the urge to break it. She flipped through the pages louder than before to try to cover up the deafening quiet; she was getting bored and anxious and she couldn't sit still for much longer. Is this what it's like to be Sirius Black? Ayla jokingly thought to herself. She then hit her book shut and slumped back in her seat, sighing dramatically.

"Remus?"

"Ayla?"

"Do you want to do something? I'm mighty bored of this and if I have to read one more thing about how to turn a pawn into a queen, I'll die."