Agent X (Five Hargreeves x Reader)

47

After the fiasco that took place in the kitchen, (Y/N) decided that it would be in her best interest to take a shower, get dressed into some fresher clothes, and then perhaps take a wonder around the academy. She did her best to still the thoughts in her mind. Although she did indeed feel the agitation bubbling inside of her when she initially found out about what Five had done. But she couldn't stay mad at him. She had already come to terms with it and forgiven him but she couldn't help but feel a different type of pain.

The pain that she felt wasn't brought on simply by the fact that he did what he did. No. No, it wasn't. Instead, it was due to the fact that he did what he did. If it had been anyone else she would have cared nearly as much. The pain would have subsided and the betrayal would have dissolved. But it was the fact that it was him. It was him who made gave her this so-called 'life'.

And because it was him she had this gnawing feeling inside of her rib cage. This feeling was slowly eating away at her insides but it wasn't with teeth. It wasn't ripping it all apart. I wasn't tearing off chunks. Instead it was gumming her to death. Slowly and with treacherous pain.

She stopped in the entrance hall as she had to pause. The pain was growing and growing, worse and worse. She could feel it rising up and up and up. But then she realised that it wasn't only pain that was rising. It was also her stomach acids. She hadn't eaten in a while... and now she regretted it, as everything that was inside of her stomach was now on the floor but her body continued to reach for more. She continued to gag and wretch and cough. 

Eventually, Five came running down when he noticed her.

He took her by the arm and pulled her into the kitchen, tears were now running down her cheeks. He gave her water and bread. Basic. Ironic considering that neither of them could even begin to comprehend 'basic'.

"Look, I'm sorry, I really am."
"I know you are..." (Y/N) couldn't look at him.
"Then why won't you forgive me?" He asked as he took a seat next to her.
"I never said that I didn't forgive you, Five."

This took Five by surprise. He was expecting an argument. He was expecting there to be punches and kicks and maybe even the threat of her finishing her original mission. Why has she forgiven him?

"I forgive you because I'm in no position to stay angry with you. I mean, look at me. The only reason I came here, in the first place, to kill you," she laughed. Only slightly. But she still laughed. And it made him warm.
"But... If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have even been sent to kill me. You would be with your parents, right now. And your parents wouldn't be so..."
"Don't say it, Five. Just don't," (Y/N) looked up at him with solemn look adorning her soft features; a perfect contrast to the hard glare set upon Five's harsh features. 

The two of them were sat in silence for a moment and (Y/N) only had one question playing on her mind. She knew the answer, she just wanted to hear it from him.
"Do you regret it?" 

There was a pause. A long pause. She was waiting for the yes to come out of his mouth.
"You know the answer to that, I know you do," he was the one who looked away, this time.
"Yes, I do, Five, but I want to hear you say it," she stood her ground, she wanted to hear it.
"But if you know what the answer is why do you want to hear it?" He stood up from the chair, looking down at the girl.
"I just want to hear you say the word 'yes,' Five. Is that really too much to ask for? I know that you regret it, I just want to hear you say it." 

There was silence again. But it was broken with a word. But it wasn't the right word.

"No."
"No?"
"Yes."
"No!"
"Yes!"
"NO!"
"Would you stop that?!" Five raised his voice a little.

(Y/N) was now stood up, facing Five. 
"Why won't you say the word ye-"
"Because I don't want to lie to you," he spoke quickly, cutting her off efficiently.

(Y/N) was dumbfounded. He didn't regret it. But that wasn't possible. She had checked the statistics and there was a 100% certainty of him regretting it. So she checked again.

It was 37.2%.

"But..."
"I don't know what got into your head there, (Y/N), but you can ask me as many times as you want; I will never regret what I did."