the anatomy of love [BxB] COMPLETED

48

"Are you still having trouble with Wes?" Lauren asks.

Caleb just left for Shabbat, so Jackson and Lauren decided to take a walk around a nearby park, and ended up sitting on the swings. Jackson can't remember the last time he and Lauren hung out together without Caleb. The sun still sits above the horizon, but now the sky has streaks of purple and red that give the impending night a certain mysticism.

"He's always busy now," Jackson says. He takes out his phone and shows Lauren their chat. "See. Wednesday, busy. Thursday, busy again. Today he'll be busy for sure."

"Maybe today is different?" Lauren suggests hopefully.

Jackson shrugs and texts Wes if they can see each other. At this point, there's little left to lose.

"Ever since we got back from that trip he's been off," Jackson says.

"How so?"

"He acts like we're just hooking up. Like all those things we said and all those moments we had never happened," Jackson says. But he remembers that look on Wes's face before he left the hotel. A fleeting look, filled with crushing despair, and something akin to nostalgia, maybe even longing though he was right there. "When you were in love with Mav, did you ever push him away because you thought you couldn't have him?"

Lauren laughs. "No. I was so desperate with him. But Rhys definitely was like that with Mav. When Mav told Rhys he was bi, it was a shit show. Rhys had been very much in the closet, as you remember, and he just couldn't believe that not only had Mav been an option all along, but that Mav might not choose him. I think it crushed him. So instead of getting his heart broken he pushed Mav away, said the worst things to him. But Mav was persistent, and you know how the rest of that story goes."

"I never really saw it that way," Jackson muses, trying to imagine Rhys and Mav, the picture perfect best friends that everyone envied. Except, one was gay and the other bi, and they were completely in love with each other. "Do you think I should be that persistent? Do you think it's worth it?"

"Mav obviously thought so, and hey, they're still together. You never know, Wes could come around. Sometimes you just need to give him a little push, make him scared you know? Boys are idiots, Jackson. Lovable idiots, but idiots just the same. Wes might act like he thinks he'll lose you, but he doesn't believe it yet, and he definitely doesn't want to. Otherwise, he wouldn't keep texting."

His phone vibrates with an incoming text. It's Wes. Tonight.

"Well I guess I'll have a chance to scare him tonight," Jackson says with a wry smile, showing Lauren his phone.

"See? I knew today would be different. Boys, boys, boys."

"I'm with you there," Jackson murmurs. "Boys, boys, boys..."

☆★☆

Wes picks him up later that night in front of Jackson's apartment, and it takes everything in him not to feel déjà vu. Tonight will be different, he tells himself. It has to be.

"Hey," Jackson says, sliding into the passenger seat.

Wes does not look at him, instead murmuring, "Jackson." Then he smoothly pulls onto the road. His knuckles whiten on the wheel. If it hurts him so much, why agree to seeing him?

"How has work been?" Jackson asks and winces. He asked that exact same question last time.

"Busy," Wes says flatly.

"You don't say..." Jackson whispers under his breath.

They stay silent for the rest of the ride. Jackson can barely remember what their playful, flirty bickering used to sound like.