INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM - AFTERNOON
REMUS sits on the couch in front of the fireplace reading The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Students start walking through the Portrait Hole, in sweaters and winter clothing, carrying trunks. JAMES and PETER walk in together, looking worried. James wears a Gryffindor sweater and winter boots. Peter wears a winter jacket and his sneakers. They talk to each other as they drag their trunks in.
REMUS
(as James and Peter pass him)
Hey bros. What is the uppity?
JAMES
Nothing much broski. Just chilaxing.
REMUS
Where's our dude Sirius at?
PETER
Probably at the bar, because we are 13 year olds with an alcohol problem.
REMUS
Ah yes, how could I forget. Would anyone like a sample of my very legal 70's drugs?
JAMES
Groovy dude.
________________________________________________________________________________
INT. HOGWARTS GREAT HALL - NIGHT
The Marauders sit at the Gryffindor table while other students walk into the Great Hall.
PETER
So, who has the tequila? My withdrawals are acting up.
REMUS
I do. I'm depressed and rely on my flask for emotional support.
SIRIUS
Hey bros, let's not be alcoholics.
JAMES
Don't talk, you're the one who was at the bar earlier.
SIRIUS
I wasn't at the bar, I was in the forest fucking a snake. Alcohol addictions are for straggots.
Remus YEETS his flask across the room, hitting Severus in the head. A smile arrives on Severus' face.
REMUS
Imagine being addicted to alcohol, couldn't be me.
SIRIUS
Same.
(pulling off his tie)
Lets make out ;)
PETER
I thought we were all 13 year olds with alcohol problems?
JAMES
What's a straggot?
Remus and Sirius are *snogging*
JAMES (CONT'D)
Can I get in on the platonic activities?
REMUS
BITCH WE ARE MAKING OUT! HOW DUMB ARE YOU?
JAMES
(offended)
Oh ok, then I won't join your platonic activities. Such straggots.
Sirius shoots James. Angels sing. Credits role. Series finale completed :)
