My Only Exception

Chapter Three

I sat on my bed with my stuffed animal, that I've had since I was a little girl tightly clenched to my chest. I rolled my eyes as the sound of footsteps wafted up the steps and down the hall towards my bedroom.

I placed my teddy bear back in its home against my pillows, just in time for my door to be opened. My mother stepped in, her eyebrows drawn closely together, irritation evident on her face.

"Lincoln." She scolded causing me to scoff as she finished closing the door and closing the distance across my large bedroom, toward where I was sat on my bed.

Her eyes trailed to my cracked balcony door, my eyes followed her silently waiting for her to say whatever she had to.

"What have I told you about smoking? You know I don't like that!" I gnawed at my bottom lip, still irritated pleading with her to just leave so I wouldn't say something I didn't mean.

"And I have told you a million times, it's a plant. It's not heroin!" Her gaze turned dark as she gave me the stink eye silently telling me to pipe down the attitude.

I sighed, bringing my tone down significantly, one that almost sounded like I was pleading.

Maybe, I was; I didn't know anymore, nothing felt real. I felt absolutely nothing; Other than being depressed as fuck.

With Bipolar, there was nothing in between.

"Please just hear me, mom. You're listening but you aren't hearing me."

There was a pregnant pause before she finally sighed twisting her whole body towards me. "I'm hearing you, I'm just worried is all. I just want what's best for you." I nodded, my hands waving in the air as I cried out exasperatedly, "Please, mom. I know what I'm doing. It's the only thing that keeps me calm. I hate the medicine I take, I can't sleep and I can't eat. I am nauseous all of the time." I begged to her.

Her eyes were laced with concern, "We can tell your psychiatrist, we can change the dosage." I shook my head, immediately rejecting the idea.

"I don't want to take the pills anymore. Every morning is the same, mom. I wake up, I take six pills, then again at lunch and again before bed." She sighed, but before she could respond I called out again, "Just hear me."

Her bright hazel eyes, searched my empty ones her hands grabbing mine. "I just can't lose you, baby."

You already have, mom.

I refrained from saying this and instead squeezed her hand, in what I hoped was reassurance.

"Technically, I could get a medical card for it you know." She gave me a look and I only smirked sheepishly at her. "Just something to think about." My hands went up in mock surrender, causing my mom to giggle. "Your father and uncle would use it for themselves." I laughed loudly at that, nodding in agreement.

Her face returned back to business and I knew we were far from done. "Your sister-." I cut her off again with a shake of my head. I was too exhausted to talk about this.

"Please, mom. I'd rather spare the sob story for someone who isn't biased." I snorted causing her eyes to throw daggers at me.

Talking back to my mother, was a no go. I was completely and utterly terrified of my parents. They had never laid a hand on me, but just the looks they gave me sent shivers down my spine. This look she was giving me right now was one that sent goosebumps shivering down my body, settling deep into bones.