I stood nervously outside the bus with Zacky by my side.
I didn't have the courage to go inside.
It felt like an eternity before Matt's form came into view.
I could slightly see Savannah standing behind him and I gulped loudly.
I had never meant to become such good friends with her.
It just happened.
And it makes this even harder.
Matt hesitated at the top of the stairs when he saw me and Zacky waiting.
I saw him turn to Savannah and whisper something to her.
I tried not to let the jealousy hit me because Matt wasn't doing anything wrong.
I'm the one who messed up.
I have no right to be jealous.
I saw Savannah shake her head and Matt helped her down the stairs.
He stood with his arms crossed over his chest and his back against the bus.
"What the fuck are you two doing here?" He practically growled at me.
I flinched at the tone in his voice.
Zacky put his hand on my shoulder and tried to soothe me.
The look in his eyes could literally kill.
Zacky quickly moved his hands away from me and stood with his hands by his side.
I opened my mouth to speak but was suddenly tongue tied.
"Did you two have something to say? Cause it's kind of cold out here." Matt said.
I opened my mouth again, and nothing came out.
"I, I just wanted to apologize." I stuttered.
"Oh. You wanted to apologize?" Matt asked me.
"Yes." I said with a nod.
"Well sorry isn't good enough." He yelled.
I cringed again and Zacky stepped in front of me.
"Look, there's no reason to yell. I know you're pissed. I know. And I'm sorry. But we're trying to apologize. You don't have to make this any harder than it already is." Zacky said.
Before I even knew what was happening, Zacky was on the floor holding on to his lip.
I saw the guys run off the bus as they tried to get in between Matt and Zacky.
"Make it any harder? It's not my fucking job to make things easier for you?! You fucked up! Not me." Matt yelled, trying to get passed Jimmy and Brian as me and Johnny helped Zacky up.
Zacky wiped his bloody lip off and waved us off.
"It's fine. Let him get it out. Beat the crap out of me. Hit me. Yell at me. Say you'll never be my friend again. Do it all. I don't care. There is no way you can me more than I hate myself for what I did to you and Savannah. We never meant for any of this to happen." Zacky yelled.
"I guess that makes it all better than, huh?!" Matt yelled.
"No it doesn't fucking make it better! Nothing could ever make what we did better. But we are sorry. And we regret it. Why else would we come here if we didn't fucking care?" He asked.
It took a couple minutes but Matt finally settled down and the guys backed off a bit.
Zacky turned to Savannah.
"I know I hurt you. And I know you have no reason to believe a word that's coming out of my mouth. But I am so sorry for what I did to you. Things between me and Missy ended a while before you and me got together. And I know that that doesn't make things any better. Because I still betrayed my best friend. And there's never a good reason for that. Ever. But I am so, so sorry. And I love you. I hate that the first time I tell you I love you is because of this situation. But it's out there. And I won't take it back. I love you Savannah." Zacky said.
Savannah's eyes were on the ground and I could tell she was crying.
She was trying to keep it in.
Tough girl.
"Anna?" I said softly.
She slowly looked up at me, wiping her eyes quickly.
"He really does love you. I am so sorry about what happened. Like he said, we never did anything when you guys got together. But that doesn't make up for my past mistakes. You became, such a good friend to me. And the thought of losing you over something that meant nothing, absolutely breaks my heart. You are an amazing woman and I care about you more than I can say. I can only hope that you really take in what we're telling you and believe us. Because we are sorry. And we do care about you." I told her.
I turned to Matt and he was still fuming.
I could practically see the steam coming out of his ears.
"Matt." I said, not being able to control the tears that sprung to my eyes and made my throat go tight.
I quickly wiped at them.
"God. I don't even know where to start. I wish there was a good explanation for the things that happened. But there aren't. When I think back on it now, I think I did it because I felt like I was missing something. Which is absolutely absurd. You've given me everything a woman could possibly ask for in a man. You're funny, and charming, charismatic, loyal, and so, so caring. You're absolutely everything to me. I wish that I could take it all back. Just rewind and myself from ever being able to hurt you this way. Because it's not fair to you. And you don't deserve it. Not one bit." I told him.
Matt looked down.
"I know have no right to ask, and I don't deserve a second chance. But I want you to believe me when I say that I'm sorry and that I love you with every single piece of my heart." I said honestly.
He didn't say anything and the tears burned in my eyes again.
So I did the only thing I could do.
I ran.
Too bad running doesn't take away the pain.
