My Snowbarry One-Shots

Letting It Burn

Requested by Scarlett_Speedy

Inspired by 'First Burn' from Hamilton

Silence. 

Darkness. 

Emptiness. 

Heartbreak.

Pain.

 Fire. 

Burning...

As Caitlin stands in front of the fireplace, all these words keep repeating in her head. The embers dance, taunting her of their joy, while the cracks and pops of the fire keep her in a trance. The heat comforts her with its invisible blanket as she feels her heart start to freeze over. Before she knows it, her legs give out causing her to kneel. The pain on impact is numbing compared to the ache of her heart. 

She looks down at the article in her hands, re-reading the words on the page. Devastation. A new word. Re-read. Foolish. A new word. Re-read. Embarrassment. A new word. No more. She shakes her head violently while ripping the paper and throwing it into the fire. She watches it burn as the tears stream down her face. She clutches her stomach, no longer able to hold back the pain. 

The sound of the front door unlocking, opening, then closing, stops her. She listens to the soft footsteps leading towards her, stopping somewhere behind her. She didn't need to look to know who it is. His presence is familiar and it has been over the past few years. 

Silence. Darkness. Repeat. 

He swallows invisible salvia. Shifts his weight back and forth. Bites his inner lip. He opens his mouth just to close it. He can't find the words and instead watches her kneel in front of the fire. He dares to take one more step.

"Don't."

He freezes, examing her posture. Licking his lips, he tries again - taking another step. "Cait -"

"Don't! Don't you dare use that name," she snaps, grinding her teeth, as she finally looks over her shoulder to the man behind her. 

 He stands frozen in place. His shock expression changes into a guilt and painful one. While her eyes fill with anger and disgust. She scans over him as he stands there - looking like a lost puppy. 

Disgust. A new word. 

Finding some strength, she stands glancing at the fire and seeing the ashes form. The tears begin to coat her eyes but a small laugh tickles her throat. Her hand clutches the mantel for support with words leaving her mouth - her voice filling the silent room.

"From the moment I saw you I fell for you. Thinking you could be mine someday. Granted I was your doctor first, but with time I fell harder for you," she looks at him for a moment; his eyes soften holding back tears on his own. "Then you got together with Iris and I respected that. Then came the day, you told me that you fell for me," another small laugh escapes along with a tear. "At that moment, I said to myself, 'you were mine'. I thought you were mine..."

Silence. Heartbreak. Repeat.

Caitlin wipes the fallen tear, looking back at the flames. "Do you know what Cisco said when we found out what you had done?" Beat. "'Let Frost kick his ass or better yet freeze his ass.'"