400 Days After Fina

Day 496

"Siya ba dahilan kung bakit kanina ka pa bad mood?"

"Can we talk about something else?" I poured both of us a drink and handed her the glass. "Sorry, I don't have champagne. I hope whiskey is all right?"

Francine accepted the glass and lightly tapped it against mine. "Cheers!"

"Cheers."

I finished the whole drink, savoring the burning feeling in my throat.

"So, tell me about this Angel?" She asked.

"Nasabi mo na ba kay kuya yang engagement mo?" I retorted, pouring myself another shot. She's good friends with my older brother and if she wasn't already in a relationship with Matt, she could have been my brother's girlfriend. She easily could have been my sister-in-law.

Francine glared at me, annoyed at my attempt of changing the topic. "You really don't want to talk about her, ano?"

I tried to pour more whiskey in her glass but she refused. "Why talk about her when we can talk about your wedding plans? Are you guys having a church wedding?"

"Wala pa kaming napapagusapan but I'm leaning towards a garden wedding with a view of the Taal volcano."

"That sounds nice,"

"Anyway, I need to get back to my office. I need to finish my report on the Hera campaign before the day ends," she put her glass down and stood up. "And you need to stop drinking and call Angel back."

"You're not the boss of me," I scowled.

"I know," Francine winked at me and opened the door. "Thanks for the drink, ma'am Jellane."

I raised my glass to her. "Congratulations again, future Mrs. Soler."

She smiled sweetly at me before closing the door behind her. As soon as she's gone, my smile disappeared and the exhausting and suffocating sensation of being alone again enveloped me.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and when I checked the caller ID, it was Angel. I ignored the call and set the phone on my desk. I booted up my laptop but the pounding pain in my head only got more intense because of the screen brightness. I tried lowering the brightness but the pain persisted so I shut the computer off and grabbed one of the folders on my desk. It was the documents I had finished reviewing and signing earlier when everyone had gone off to have their lunch.

With the meeting done and all my documents signed, I've basically finished all my tasks for today. But despite the appeal of going home and crashing on my bed, I know that the nightmares won't let me rest. So instead of packing up, I started arranging my desk. I moved my laptop out of the way, organized my folders and papers into a neat pile on one side, and moved the various paperweights and small decorations I have into a more systemic position. I've never had much sense of style so I opted to organize the little trinkets I have from smallest to biggest.

With nothing else to do, I stared at my desk for a while, attempting to summon Fina once more. I tried to imagine her sitting in the seat in front of my desk, wearing her usual white dress, hand on her chin, and looking at me like the past few days had only been a prank that she had pulled on me. But Fina's intelligent brown eyes did not appear, her smile did not widen and her warm voice did not fill the room. I am alone in my office.

A knock on my door woke me up from my reverie and Kate peeked in again. "Ma'am Jellane? Tumatawag po ulit si Angel."

I looked away from her and casually wiped a tear on my cheek, hoping she didn't notice. "I told you to tell her I'm busy."

"Tinatanong niya po kung iniiwasan mo daw ba siya?"

I let out a sigh and pinched my nose bridge, resisting the urge to shout at my nosy secretary. "Kate, again, please tell her that I'm busy."