Everything is Going to be Okay.

grasping control

Joyce had got up from the couch and decided that she had to gain control of these abilities of hers or else she didn't know where she'd end up because as far as she could tell she could time travel but could she only go through years? Or could she just go through the other side of the room just skipping 10 extra steps? She didn't know.
She mostly wanted to control them for the sake of her kids because obviously she was going to try and hide it from them as long as she could. Joyce thought it was the most practical idea. Plus she's seen movies and time travel is no joke. One wrong move and you could cease to exist.
Joyce didn't really have anywhere she could "practice". It's not like she knew anyone who could give her a key to a giant meaningless building she could blow up. Weighing out her options she made the most reasonable decision. Joyce threw on her blue plaid shirt, her sneakers, and headed to the back of her house.
She figured if she was going to travel across big areas she may as well start in their slightly large backyard.
"How do you even do this?" She said. Joyce thought about asking El what she would do but that was a stupid idea from the start, the poor girl was hurting so bad and she wasn't there for her.
The back porch light turned off.
"I wasn't there. She needed me. I was just thinking about myself.." she whispered.
The light started flickering.
On.
Off.
On. Off.
"I should've been there, I should've been the one to take her home and say that everything was going to be okay, that was my job and I couldn't even do that!" She shut her eyes and felt this tingling feeling all through her body from her head to her toes. It was like she left her body and came back.
Then to her surprise there she was. On the other side of the yard.
Her eyes widened and the blood came from her nose but she wasn't stopping here. She wiped it away and brought out all the dark memories of her past.
She didn't want to lose control but in the moment she felt like she was the most powerful woman she could be.
Joyce thought of the phone call she made to Lonnie when Will went missing and he couldn't give two shits.
The day she saw Will through the wall and took it down with and axe that weighed more than her just for him to be gone when he was right. There.
The smirk on Martin Brenner's face when he told her he wanted her help which was total bullshit.
The monster that took away another part of her boy she'll never get back and the man that gave her a sense of normalcy for once.
Then the only man she ever truly loved.
As all the negative thoughts she could think of raced through her head the light shattered and so did all of the windows and again she was on the other side of the yard. Back and fourth she went.
Joyce didn't realize the effects her powers had on the objects around her and she saw the broken glass everywhere and began to cry.
"Why can't I do this RIGHT?!" She let out a scream and kicked the side of the house. Then she was in the last place she wanted to be right now.
"No no no..you've got to be kidding me.." she said as she felt the panic rising in her body.
She was back.
It was the moment she woke up after the russian threw her and knocked her out cold. The pain from the wound on her head started to sink in quickly.
Joyce saw him and hopper fight to the death as they got closer to that death trap of a machine. No. She couldn't see it again.
Joyce didn't care. The only thing she remembered of this moment at first was a blur but now that she's been here three times it was too normal and she didn't want this to be any more memorable than it already was.
She fell to the ground, held her ears, and shut her eyes with staggered breaths following after.
"I'm your music...I'm your song.." she started to sing quietly to herself to drown out the sounds of inevitable death around her.
"Play me time and time again..and make me strong.."
"Make me sing..make me sound...andante andante tread lightly on my ground..."
She grew quieter.
"Andante andante...please don't let me down.."
The noise faded away and she opened her eyes to her backyard.
She was sitting on the stairs in a tiny ball but...she was safe. She was safe now. She was okay.
Joyce was unaware but Jonathan came home about 5 minutes ago and he had been looking for her worried.
He searched the whole house for her and his next stop was the backyard where he found her sitting on the stairs trying to calm herself.
"Mom? Mom are you okay?? What happened?"
She finally regained control over herself and spoke.
"I'm okay...it's..it's just a bad day. I'm fine see?" Joyce turned to face him and he stood there totally unconvinced.
She took a breath. "Look honey I know I tell you I'm fine and sometimes I'm not but that's because I know I can handle it on my own.."
He just stood there completely confused.
"Jonathan I'm okay. You need to stop worrying-"
Shit. She forgot. The blood.
"What's going on??" He asked impatiently.
Joyce didn't get a chance to speak because before she opened her her mouth her legs folded and she fell to the ground unconscious.