stuck [choi yeonjun]

41

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"Don't kill them. They barely know about anything. They are innocent, Crannium!" I shout, begging for mercy. The dress I'm wearing is too heavy for me to move with my wounded limbs.

"So what? All I want is fun fun and fun." He laughs as one after one shrill and loud cries reverberate the place.

My hand is placed on the left side of my chest where my heart is located at and also from where the blood is streaming insanely. Bearing the intolerable pain and watching so many lives getting killed by the monster and how helpless I am, I don't want to breath anymore and I don't think I can.

What have we done to deserve this? Save me, help me, don't let us die- their faces are purely drowned in these words as they look at me with questionable eyes, unable to talk due to miseries. I don't even know their faces and they don't know me but the despairing look they are giving me is strong enough to double my pain.

But I'm shot as well. I can't breath, I can't keep my eyelids open any longer. I'm in pain too. I can't save them nor myself. I'm dying, so are they. The only difference is they don't even know why they are dying.

Guilt. Repentance. Horror. Pain.

Guilt of not being able to save him
Repentance of not being able to be enough
Horror of seeing innocent lives fighting with death
And pain of dying

Am I worthy for heaven then? All this time my soul has been burning in a hell named world. Does God even exist?

My eyes flutter open instantly with a weak scream leaving me before I gasp for air. I feel suffocated and I can't breath well, I can't feel my heart beating, I can't feel anything except the only unfamiliar yet so familiar pain I'm feeling in the same place of my chest. I stay still as my heart which wasn't functioning a couple of seconds ago, is now throbbing insanely. My hand is still at the same place where blood is supposed to spurt from but it's fine. The pain starts fading but I'm still sweating. I can still hear those cries repeating inside of my brain.

It was a dream again.

I would be relaxed by now, underestimating it as a nightmare but the fact that I wasn't even sleeping and I was just standing on the floor of my room, scrolling through my phone with wide open eyes and researching things until I blacked out. The scariest thing is I'm still standing on the same spot holding my phone. I could presume that I blacked out then slept out of exhaustion and had a nightmare but then I wouldn't be standing right now.

The vision I just got felt too real. And this time, I know it's not just a dream. How can it be possible? I'm not that dense to normalize all my weird dreams anymore. If they were normal, I would have never foreseen the night when Yeonjun marked me, the exact Kim Namjoon, their rooftop which I didn't even see that time, my step father getting gunshot just on his forehead, between his eyebrows which actually took its place in reality, and last but not the least there's the worst left to happen.