The Best Years

2

"Cal, go again, start at the bridge."

Calum sighed and closed his eyes, he was exhausted. A quick glance down at his watch showed that it was only just after eight PM but judging by the way he felt it could've been the wee hours of the morning. He'd been in the studio, practically locked away with his best mates, since seven that morning.

He heard the track start to play through his headphones and waited for his cue before beginning to sing. He made it through his section before he was stopped, a frustrated groan escaping him.

"Somethings just not right." Their producer said, his voice crackling through Calum's headphones from the shitty intercom that relayed the sound from the booth.

"Any idea what that might be?" Calum asked. He didn't mean to be a prick he was just exhausted and cranky. He was still annoyed by the label moving up their deadline and costing him valuable time with Holland.

"Not yet but we'll work on it. Why don't you come out and we'll track Michael."

Calum nodded and used one hand to remove the headphones, setting them on the music stand in front of him before he exited the sound proof tracking booth and moved instead to the small room just outside where everyone else sat.

He let out a heavy sigh as he sank into the cushions of the maroon couch. Ashton glanced over to him with arched eyebrows. "Everything okay?"

"Just tired and stressed." Calum shrugged.

"Just the album..or?" His best friend pressed.

"Just everything. Holland and I started trying and I just know this is already scary for her, I don't want her going through anything alone. We were supposed to be spending all this time at home, and I know how important these things are for our career, believe me I know, but I feel a duty to both you guys and her and it's hard to know what to choose."

"Who says you have to?"

"Our label apparently." Calum huffed.

"Cal, Holland's never been one to need you every waking moment of the day. I don't think that's going to start now, even if you guys do get pregnant quickly. Make the most of the time you guys have together, she's always been supportive of the band."

"Yeah, so much so that she once sacrificed our relationship for her career and mine." Calum said somberly.

"Is that what this is really about? You think she'll feel in the way?" Ashton asked.

Calum shrugged. "Maybe not in so many words, but I think she'll feel like a burden and that's the last thing I want her to feel like. I know this is already such a far cry from what she expected her life to look like and I don't want her out of her comfort zone and then dealing with it practically alone because some corporate man is forcing us to get this album out. That's not fair to her, or us."

"I don't disagree but I think you should give Holls some credit. She's tougher than she looks."

"I'm not doubting that, just frustrated with the circumstances we're living with right now."

The conversation ended there, the boys redirecting their attention back to their producer and Luke in the booth.

•

"Cameron you've gotta get your speed up before you hit the springboard to get the rotations you need. If you don't have enough momentum you won't have the power. Try it again." Holland called out to one of her most promising students.

Cameron nodded and mumbled a "yes coach" on her way back to the start of the runway. Holland watched closely as the girl took a centering breath and raced down the floor, her arms pumped at her sides before she flipped into her vault, under-rotating again and falling to the landing pad.

"Ugh!" The girl groaned in frustration and Holland dropped her head with a sigh.

Cameron hadso much potential and she was clutch in competition but she wasn't effective at modifying when critiqued and it was preventing her from moving to the next level.

Not that it mattered, all of the skills that Cameron possessed had been acquired elsewhere.Valley Gymnastics was just another stop on her journey.

Holland didn't want her gym to be a pit stop. She wanted it to be a birthplace for fantastic gymnasts. She wanted to watch her girls grow and be with them every step of the way. She wanted to give them the gift of gymnastics, the gift of the sport that had consumed her life since she was four years old.

"What are you thinking about?" Lexi asked her as she wandered over to stand by Holland's side.

Holland contemplated for a moment whether she should tell her best what she was really thinking about. Or more accurately what she was avoiding thinking about by overthinking about her work.

"Just wishing I could figure out a way to help Cam implement my suggestions. I know she's trying but she isn't quick at adapting and it's holding her back."

"She's still young. She's only in her first year as an elite and you know she turns it on in competition. Not everyone can be you and do everything perfectly their first try."

Holland released a humorless laugh at that and glanced up at the clock before calling the girls together on the floor for their closing.

"Thanks for all your hard work today ladies! We are a week out from our first competition. Make sure you are eating well, staying hydrated, and getting lots of rest. I'll see you all bright and early in the morning. Have a good night."

The girls dispersed, their friendly conversations unintelligible as they mixed into a cacophony.

"Was it really only two years ago we were them?" Holland asked, lifting her chin to gesture at the retreating girls.

"I mean since we were gymnasts yes, since we were their age? Nah that's been more than two years." Lexi teased.

Holland rolled her eyes. "Just feeling a bit old and nostalgic today." She told her friend.

"Gonna go home and watch your old comp tapes and relive your glory years?"

"Something like that." Holland laughed, heading for her office after wishing Lexi a goodnight.

As soon as she was in her car she let her facade fall. No matter how much she had come to want a baby with Calum it didn't make the idea of actually expecting one any less daunting.

The drive to the convenience store felt never ending. Her mind running wild with the fears she had been trying desperately to squash. No longer was she unwilling to be a mother, she just was terrified she'd be a bad one.

She made a bee line for the aisle she needed and grabbed the test from the shelf. Her heart rattled in her chest with what felt to her like the beat of a thousand drums.

Her hands were clammy as she placed her single item on the counter and the cashier checked her out. She paid quickly, her eyes downcast as she was handed her receipt.

It wasn't that she was embarrassed by her purchase or that she was hiding the fact that she thought she might be pregnant. It was just that she didn't want someone recognizing her and TMZ outing the possibility before she knew the answer herself or had a chance to talk to her husband.

She loaded back in to the car and made the drive home quickly. Discarding her bag at the entrance and greeting Duke before unboxing the test and heading for the master bathroom.

Was she pregnant? She'd know in only a few short moments.

An: so, is baby Calland on the way?

How do we feel about Calum stressing?

Holland's gym?

Ily,
Sav 🖤