Little Shelby Girl

Part 12. Change

Vive's POV

It's been three weeks after the death of my father and the rest of the misery that came with it. I have been in bed a lot during these weeks, sleeping hours after hours. Mostly it was Tommy sitting next to me, helping me with everything, telling me stories, sometimes trying to have a serious talk. I haven't really been in the mood for talkings talkings you know. Tommy thinks I will not be able to give everything a place if I don't talk to him. I think that's fucking ironic since he never ever talks about his own feelings.

Polly also helps me a lot. She cooks for me and makes sure I don't miss too much of school by home tutoring me. The rest of my brothers and my uncle try to visit me every other day. The state I was in made them very awkward in the beginning. Both too scared to touch me, hug me, or even talk to me. After a few hours it became better and they both turned back to their own selfs.

My body is recovering well and yesterday the first stitched got removed. Today, I am finally going outside again. I am actually really excited to finally be out of the house again. Polly promised she'd go with me so I decide to already do some preparations by getting myself dressed. I slowly walk upstairs and move myself into the bathroom. The first time after the accident I took a look in the mirror, I bursted out in crying, I was unrecognizable. Luckily my old face is coming back finally. The dark circles under my eye are fading, My swollen, left eye is getting better and better and the bruises on my jaw is completely gone. As I get dressed I hear Tommy entering the house. Coming back from work.

"Vive?" He yells. I already expected this since he's checking on me almost every hour of the day.

"I'm upstairs" I yell back, while putting on my shoes. In a second he appears in the doorway.

"What you doing?" he says. "I'm going out with Pol when she's back."

"Going out where?" the tone of his voice betrays his thoughts about me going out of the house.

"Just going for a short walk, getting some fresh air after being stuck in bed for three weeks."

He nods. "Alright, but you sure you're ready for that?" I stand up, all dressed up, walking up to him. "I'm fine, really", I say looking him in the eyes. He gives me a kiss on the forehead as I pass him making my downstairs.

---

That afternoon me and Polly walk down the river. The fresh air makes my cheeks turn pink. It has never felt better being outside. Polly talks on and on. About the betting shop, the Garrisson, some new barmaid, Ada's new house. I try to act like I'm interested, but actually I just want to enjoy the silence and me being away from home. I haven't seen Ada since Finns funeral. Don't know why Polly's the only family member she wants contact with. I mean, I can understand why she's mad at her brothers, but I just don't know what she's mad at me for.

"Can you keep a secret?" Polly asks. I nod, curious about what she's going to tell me. "You know, there's a reason Ada's got a new home you know." Looking at me as if I'm supposed to guess the clue.

"She didn't like her old house?" I try. Polly chuckles and shakes her head.

"She's having a baby. Which means, you're gonna be an aunt." I look up at Pol. I don't really know how to respond so I get back at looking at the ground.

"Does Tommy know this?"

Pol shakes her head. "Not yet, I will tell em this afternoon, when we get back. Just heard the news myself."

I am happy for Ada, but since she doesn't like me, I don't think I'll be able to see the baby very often. "Does this mean Ada will visit us more often?" I ask.

"I hope so Viv, that would be really nice. You like baby's don't you?" I nod giving my aunt a smile. "Maybe she'll like me more if I play with her baby once it's here."

Polly smiles, "oh dear, Ada does like you, it's just that she doesn't like her brothers, that's why she never visits."

I think about the words Polly tell me. "Bit selfish" I respond. "What kind of sister does that. I've never done anything to her, yet she doesn't want to see me, even if I'm hurt, like I was."

Polly nods, "I understand you feel that way, but Ada's hurt as well, don't forget that. Your brothers left her too when they went to France and the whole situation with Finn... Ada's not ready to forgive them."

Hm. Well, maybe there's some truth in that, but still. As we keep walking I feel my back getting sore again. "I want to go home, I am getting tired." I say. Pol nods and we make our way back home.

Once we enter the house, my back starts to hurt real bad again just as my legs. Maybe we did walk a little too far for a first time. Polly helps me getting rid of my coat as I try to find the first chair to sit on I can find.

I let out a deep sigh as I sit down at the kitchen table, resting my head in my arms on the table.

"I'll make you a cup of tea." Polly says, not being impressed by the pain I have.

I hear Tommy coming down the stairs, walking into the kitchen. When he sees me resting my head on the table he immediately gets concerned.

"You okay? Something happened?" He asks getting the chair next to me.

"She's just a bit tired, that's all." Polly responds not giving him a look while concentrating on the tea she's making.

"You good?" Tommy says softly, grabbing my arm. I look up at him giving him a small smile. "Fine, I go to bed alright?"

He strikes my arm with his thumb and nods "you need help?"

"No, it's fine." Trying to hide the pain as I stand up from the chair and stumble into the living room where my bed still stands in front of the fire place. As I lay down, I hear Tommy and Polly have chat.

"You'll have to look out for her Pol, she's still weak and recovering, you can't just do a two hour walk with her." I hear Tommy say, raising his voice.

"You don't tell me what to do or do not. I took care of her for two years so I expect you all to trust me with her. She's stronger than you think and so is her body."

It's quiet.

"You know that's funny eh." At the tones of their voices I can hear this is the start of a not so nice conversation. I sigh while covering myself under the blankets, still cold from the walk.

Tommy continues "Yea, you fucking did take care of her and how'd that go eh? Some details bout her you've missed didn't you? Some deep fucking scars you didn't notice in those two years oi?" He yells, shoving his chair away loudly. I hear Polly mumble something but I can't make out the words.

"You fucking watch her." Tommy says before leaving the kitchen slamming the doors making his way outside.

Hearing them fight makes me sad. I don't want them to argue and especially not over me. It's nobody's fault but mine all of this happened. Polly did ask me hundred times why I was having nightmares, why I wouldn't let her bath me, why I didn't wanted to talk about my father... I just always got mad when she started about it.

Me overthinking everything makes me wonder where Tommy went. Maybe he's on his way to The Garrisson, drinking his anger away? Or uncle Charlie? I don't know but I hope he's coming back soon. I also hope Polly will tell him about Ada. I don't want to keep things away from him, and I also think he needs to know about the baby. Just to make sure she has extra protection. One thing I have learned over the couple of months is that we Shelby's always have to look over our shoulders.

And wait... who's the father? The question didn't occur earlier in my head. I didn't know she was in a relationship with someone. Not that I would know, she doesn't tell me, us shit.