Collide

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Song: Riptide by Vance Joy 

“If you would, please don’t call me Ronnie. That isn’t my true name, but the name of this body. Call me Avah.” She pouts, "You used to call me that, back in the good days. We used to have so much fun, you and I. You'd kill me" She scowls at me, "I kill you" now smiles. She steps closer to me, "It was exciting!" Her eyes narrow as she starts walking circles around me, her fingers trailing against my skin. "And now look at you. You're pathetic. You fell in love with the devil! Or well... I'm not the devil, but you know what I mean." she shakes her head as she looks me in the eye, "It's a shame."

I stare at her, my mouth hanging open. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not Ronnie Zayn. Ronnie was gone the second she flipped the switch. I’m Avah, the girl who lives inside of every single girl you fall in love with. I remember them all, Taya, Violet, Annabelle, Juliet, Amelia, Rosaline…” She smiles at me, “I remember them all, because they’re all me.” 

My heart quickens in my chest as I watch her walk around the kitchen, clearly enjoying my confusion. After a second I walk past her, forgetting the pancake batter still waiting to be cooked. I move to the living room to sit down on the couch, staring at the wall in front of me.

What was she saying? She wasn’t Ronnie? How was that possible…

“I can explain if you want…” I look up to see Ronnie… or Avah sitting beside me on the couch, her face calm and empty. I could tell she was trying to keep the joy off her face. I’m sure she loved this game she was playing.

Avah takes my silence as permission to continue. “Well… as you know, I reincarnate into a new body as soon as I die. My soul is yanked from the body the second it takes its last breath, and thrown into a new infant being born.” She pauses, “I guess you might not have known the technicality of that, but that’s basically how it works.”

“Anyways, after Rosaline, the first one you remember, you were able to figure out that her soul is able to reincarnate. Except what you didn’t know is that her soul, me, actually has a conscience. You’ve met all of the bodies I have moved into… You’ve fallen in love with them. But they’re all me, Zayn.”

“Each one has their own personality, sure. But they’re all similar, you know this. You and Ronnie learned from that little witch… Angela was it? You guys know that Ronnie’s soul is evil, as you guys say.” She pauses, laughing, “Oh I really enjoyed that meeting you guys had with the witch. It was so much fun watching you guys freak out!” She pauses, a look of horror flashing across her face, “Oh no! It’s my fault Ronnie always dies! We can’t live on this planet at the same time… Oh my gosh!” She mocked, a smirk filling her face.

“No Zayn, it isn’t your fault. It’s the soul inside you. Your true name is Christian, if you were wondering.” She laughs, “Don’t even get me started on the irony of that name.”

I chew down on my lip as I take in what she’s telling me. I knew she could be lying, but I doubted she would come up with something like this. She had no reason to lie. “So, both Ronnie and I, we both have souls inside us… Christian and Avah, who reincarnate from body to body after their current one dies. Their whole reason for reincarnation is what… to kill one another?”

Avah shrugs, “I guess you could put it that way, yeah.”

“Then why do your bodies always die. I get that I took the elixir and it’s harder for me to die than yours… but how, after all of these years, have I always been the one to survive. I’ve never killed you. At least not in my body, not since Rosaline.” I question, glancing up to meet her gaze.

I watch as a flicker of emotion crosses her face before it returns neutral. “Well I guess my soul likes to jump into strong bodies, ones whom can handle the pressure of me. But all of these bodies have a tendency to fall in love with you.” She glares at me, shaking her head. “For the most part, the girl whom I possess has control over their own bodies, unless they flip the switch. It gets harder to make them flip the switch when they're so strong, and have become attached. So if my brother doesn’t off me, fate steps in and goes for the human.” She smiles, “That’s what I assume, anyways.”

I watch her, my head tilting to the side slightly. “You say your presence in their bodies impacts their personality… If that is true, and you despise me as much as you do, how are they able to love me?”

She glares at me, her teeth clenching. “Next question.” She hisses.

I raise my eyebrows, “Why not?”

“Because I don’t know the answer. So next question.”

“Fine.” I shake my head with a sigh. My face falls as I think of something. "You said earlier that Ronnie was gone the second she flipped the switch... When you say gone...?" 

She grins, "Oh don't worry, your precious Ronnie is in here still. Until one of us flips the switch, she will stay back there. It's sorta like we've switched places." 

"Is she okay?" 

Avah rolls her eyes at me. "She's fine. I've been in the back of people's heads for hundreds of years, I promise you it's not painful. In fact, it's actually comfortable... However, I assume she doesn't enjoy me being in control of her body." 

"Can she hear me? Does she know what is happening?" I ask.

She giggles, "She can see, hear, and feel anything that I can." 

I bite my lip, my thoughts flashing back to the previous night. Hopefully she would forgive me for allowing that to happen... I decide to change the subject. “So you say you remember all of your past lives?”

She smiles, her body scooting closer to mine. “Oh yes, I remember everything baby.” She grins, her face leaning in towards mine. “I remember every kiss… every touch you ever shared.” Her lips press against my neck, sliding up and down from my collar bone to my ear. “Oh I know you better than just about anyone.” She kisses my jaw.

“How does it feel to know you’ve always had a little audience? I’d be willing to bet Christian hates that you’ve fallen for the enemy over and over again.” She giggles.

“Get off me, Avah.” I say, trying to keep my voice calm. My pulse quickens as her hands slide up my arms to my shoulders and I shake my head, moving it out from under her touch.

“Oh come on, baby. How about we go another round?” She smirks at me as she leans in again.

“No!” I hiss, throwing her off me. She screeches, her body flying off the couch. I stand up, grabbing her off the ground. I press her up against the wall, a knife appearing in my hand as I press it against her neck.

She looks up at me in shock, before a smile forms on her lips as she begins laughing. "You would never kill me, Zayn. You couldn't hurt Ronnie, and let’s face it, you couldn't hurt me. You're in love with me; evil or not. I AM the girl you've been chasing for centuries."