EUNOIA ━ diego hargreeves

03

CHAPTER THREE

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"HAVE A good day!" Freya called out the window, watching as the twins ran up the stairs towards the school building. She leaned back into her seat with a sigh, before she glanced out the windshield, and groaned once she saw the line of traffic in front of her.

Abruptly, a blue light appeared from the corner of her eye, and she jumped, her head banging against the wall of the car. "Jesus, Five! You can't just keep doing that!"

Instead of answering, he glanced in the direction of the elementary school. "You have kids?"

"Oh, hell no," Freya grimaced. "I just nanny them."

"Klaus is incapable of listening," Five said. "It's like everything I say goes in one ear and out the other."

"I'm extremely aware of this."

"You shout at him enough," Five went on. "And he listens to you. I heard you both when you left yesterday. Frankly, I don't have the patience or honestly the energy to constantly yell at him, but I need his help, which means I need yours."

Freya eyed him as she clicked on her blinker. "Okay..."

"I need you to pretend to be my mom with Klaus," was all he said.

"What is this even about-"

"Don't ask questions," Five interrupted. "Meet me back at our house in fifteen minutes."

"Hello? Do you not see the line of cars—" She didn't get to finish, because he had already teleported out of the vehicle. Freya smacked her head against her seat in annoyance. "These fucking kids. man."

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"Just so we're clear on this," Klaus said once Freya had arrived at the house. The three of them stood at the foyer. "We've just gotta go into this place, and pretend to be your parents, correct?"

"Yeah," Five confirmed. "Something like that."

"What's our cover story?"

"What? What're you talking about?"

"I mean like, were we really young when we had you? Like, sixteen? Like young and terribly misguided?"

"Yeah, and why did I birth a white baby?"

"He's adopted," Klaus answered. "Boom. Story developed."

"Good, because otherwise that would mean I had sex with you, and just the thought is going to make me projectile vomit across the room."

"What, I'm not hot?" Klaus was flabbergasted.

Freya turned to Five with a pleading look. "Let's get a move on."

"We met at a disco," Klaus continued. "And yes, the sex was amazing."

Freya smacked his stomach. "What did I just say-"

"What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain," Five said.

"Hey!" Klaus shouted after him. "Don't make me put you in time-out!"

The place Five had dragged them to reminded Freya of some sort of mental asylum. Minus the handful of windows, everyone was wearing the same exact uniform, and they all seemed to walk the exact same way.

From where they were sat in an office, the sun was reflecting right into Freya's eyes. She had to squint to maintain the gaze of the man sitting in front of her.

"Like I said to your son earlier, any information about the prosthetics we built is strictly confidential. Without the client's consent, I simply can't help you."

"Well, we can't get consent if you don't give us a name," Five sneered, standing up from his seat, drawing Freya's attention off from the doctor.

"That's not my problem," the older man replied with the shrug of his shoulders. "And there's nothing else I can really do so—"

"And what about our consent?" Klaus interrupted, and she turned her head to look at him in confusion. Klaus' plans never worked out well. Exhibit A: the one time they attempted to sneak into a highschool so they could experience prom. They ended up being chased out of the building with a shotgun aimed at their backs.

Exhibit B: when he tried to sell weed disguised as chocolate to a bunch of ten year olds. Freya ended up in the back of a cop car, and spent the entire night rotting in a jail cell. She promised herself she'd never follow one of his dumbass plans again.

"Excuse me?" The doctor questioned.

"Who gave you permission to...lay your hands on our son?"

"What?" The other three echoed, and Freya shared a confused look with Five.

"You heard me."

"I didn't touch your son," the doctor defended.

"Oh, really?" Klaus accused. "Well how did he get that swollen lip then?"

Freya glanced back to the Five, her brows furrowed together as she scanned his face for the injuries Klaus was insisting he had. She quickly discovered that his lip was not swollen, he looked completely in tact. So what was Klaus getting at?

"He doesn't have a swollen lip—" the doctor started, but he was cut off by the sound of Klaus's chair sliding against the floor as he stood up to punch Five in the face. Freya watched him in shock, her jaw dropping onto the ground.

"You're all crazy."

Klaus chuckled evilly, before he grabbed a snow-globe from off the desk. "'Peace on Earth.' That's so sweet." He suddenly smashed the object against his forehead, making Freya jump back in response as the glass slipped down his face, onto the floor.

He quickly bent down to pick up a piece, and turned to face her. With a lightening fast movement, Freya winced at the pain that suddenly appeared from her cheek. Her hand flew to clutch the new wound Klaus had cut with the glass, and she pulled it away to discover that her fingertips were covered in blood.

"Klaus, what the hell? This is gonna scar!"

"I'm calling security—"

Klaus snatched the phone from his grasp, bringing the device up to his ear. "Hello?" He asked in a sad voice, making it seem like he had been crying. "There's been an assault. In Mr. Big's office, and we need security now. Schnell!" He slammed the phone down back onto the desk, placing his forearms onto it as he sighed deeply. "Now here's what's gonna happen, Grant."

"It's...Lance."

"In about sixty seconds, two security guards are gonna burst through that door, and they're gonna see a whole lot of blood, and they're gonna wonder 'what the hell happened?' And we're gonna tell them that you beat the shit out of us." Klaus stood up with a dramatic sob, before he sent a fake smile in the doctor's direction. "You're gonna do great in prison, Grant. Trust me, I've been there."

"But," Freya chimed in, "you won't have to go to prison if you give us the name. We'll walk out of here like nothing happened. In fact, I'm pretty sure I got this cut from my cat scratching me." She narrowed her gaze. "Are we clear?"

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author's note:

rewritten as of 1/29/22