All is Found

40

"Did you think you were going to win?" Ashley asked.

"No, I didn't think I had a chance. I think that I should have known something was up when they put me in the front row." I said and stood up straight.

"How are you doing?" Asher asked concerned.

"Better, but I still have room to improve. You guys know that I love to see you but I'm trying to move on. You're gone and it has taken me this long to realize by seeing you all the time whenever I wanted, isn't helping me move on." I said.

I haven't seen Asher or Ashley in months, since before going away to Europe. Going to therapy has helped and I'm starting to realize that this isn't all that healthy. I want to move onto the next part of my life but having them pop up every once in a while is doing more harm than good. Just when I'm coming to terms with the fact that they are gone, they are standing in front of me again.

I didn't want to look at them right now. I know they are probably disappointed with me wanting them gone and it's going to hurt when I stop seeing them. Finally I looked up again and saw them both smiling at me.

"We are really happy for you Ashlyn. Don't ever forget that. If there is ever a time when you really need us we will be there for you, but for now we will go." Ashley said.

"Continue writing your music Ash. The world is listening now and they want to hear more from you. Don't be afraid to write about anything you feel." Asher said.

"I'm sorry for pushing you both away." I said still feeling conflicted about everything.

"Don't be Ash, we have been waiting for this moment for a while now, it's okay." Ashley said.

Asher didn't say anything but intertwined his fingers with Ashleys and they walked towards me. They stopped right in front of me for a moment before they walked through me. I gasped as I felt a rush of cold air blast through me. They will always be with me.

I took a few moments to collect myself before I left the bathroom and made my way back to my seat. Nikki and Alyssa both asked where I was and I just told them I needed a moment in the bathroom. Ariana congratulated me and we fell into light conversation as we waiting for the show to come back from commercial.

The award show started up again and at the next commercial break, a stage hand came over to Nikki, Alyssa and I and pulled us back stage so we could get ready for our song. We would be performing when we came back from commercial. Alyssa watched from the side of the stage as stage hands prepped the stage. Since we were doing a stripped version of the song the stage design was simple, two stools, two mics, a lot of candles and red rose petals. We are out on a small circular stage that's on the floor while on the video boards behind us on the main stage they are going to be playing different parts of the music video.

Nikki and I got settled as Halsey came on stage to announce our performance. I watched as the last of the stage hands light some more candles and disappear as Halsey started speaking. I turned around and watched as Halsey spoke.

"Our next performer has spent the last couple of months opening for me on tour and I had the pleasure of watching her perform this song live. It is a favorite of mine and I'm so happy you guys get to hear this special version. Ladies and gentleman, Ash Monroe." Halsey said and flashed a smile to the camera.

I let a few seconds pass and watched as the camera focused back on me. Nikki counted us in and I started to strum my guitar. I kept my eyes closed during the opening of the song but opened them when I started to sing. The only thing that would make this moment better was if Thea was here with me.