I Do?

You Must Be My Husband

Harry glances nervously at his phone as paces in his hotel room. Niall lays sprawled out on his bed tossing a pair of socks in the air and catching them. Already, Harry's sent him a warning gaze, silently telling him to fuck off but Niall continues despite it.

"You're being a girl, Harry," Niall sighs as he sits up from the bed, letting the pair of socks fall next to him. Harry lifts his phone to show Niall the tweet he sent out this morning.

@HarrySTheBest tweeted:

Help me find a guy? His name is Louis Tomlinson and he's 21. I think we accidentally got married and I need to find him for the divorce lol. I think this is him.

*1 attached photo

Reply 489K retweets 1.3M likes

"It has over a million likes, Niall, I'm not being a girl alright? People who know me are going to see this and think I'm gay or something," Harry complains. He runs his free hand through his hair in an attempt to calm himself down.

The last thing he needs is for one of his hookups back home to think he's gay or for gay guys to think that they have a shot with Harry. Don't get him wrong, Harry respects other people's sexual... preferences but that doesn't mean he has to share those preferences. He likes tits and vagina, it is what it is.

"What's wrong with thinking you're gay? Besides, you added that you're straight and that you were drunk. I'm sure people will just think it's funny."

Niall stands and pulls out his own phone. Pathetically, Harry watches as Niall moves his phone to take a selfie. "This isn't the time for selfies, Niall. I'm having a crisis!"

"You're being a drama queen," Niall mutters as he pulls his phone back down to type. A moment later, Harry gets an Instagram notification from his phone.

He glances down and is filled with fury when he sees that Niall posted a new story and tagged Harry in it. Shaking, he taps the story.

The screen is filled with a photo of Harry, taken only seconds before. He'll admit that he looks hot in it, so he's not mad at the photo itself. His hair is what the girls call an 'e-boy' haircut, middle part included. Some of Harry's chest tattoos are in the picture since he's currently shirtless and the grey sweatpants he has on ride low on his hips, teasing his v-line.

Harry's green eyes jump to the bottom of the screen. There's a poll and the question above it reads, 'Is it gay if you drunkenly marry a guy? Askin' for a friend'. However, instead of the two poll options being 'yes' and 'no', Niall changed them to 'yes' and 'obviously'.

"Take this shit down! So many hot girls follow you. I'm gonna lose my tap if you keep this shit up," Harry curses. Niall only laughs at Harry's anger and instead shrugs.

"It's just a joke dude, calm down. Besides, chicks dig feminine guys. You already have the soft, 'I'm-in-touch-with-my-feelings' thing down," Niall adds.

He has a point, Harry decides. Besides, knowing Niall he won't take it down no matter how much Harry asks him to. Instead, Harry decides to obsessively go through the replies of his tweet, hoping nobody thinks Harry's gay or anything.

@BigBussyBitch4 replied to @HarrySTheBest tweet:

Best drunk story lmfao someone find this man's husband

Reply 9 retweets 467 likes

@G_d_Pepper replied to @HarrySTheBest tweet:

Sober thoughts are drunk actions but that's none of my business 🙊🙉🙈