I Do?

Thanks for the Trauma

The following week Harry finds himself standing outside his childhood home once again. Memories of the last time he was here float back through his mind. Now, a light layer of brown and golden leaves lay scattered across the polished green lawn and the trees sway with the wind. A hand reaches up to adjust the collar of Harry's turtleneck. 

"I'm sure it's going to be okay, Harry," A voice reassures him. Harry gulps nervously. He made a huge scene the last time he was here and he doubts that his family will let him forget it. Hopefully, his mom's painfully optimistic attitude will damper the overarching doom that seems to surround this Thanksgiving. 

"We'll see," Harry hums as he stands in front of the giant building. He finds his friend's hand and holds onto it tightly, needing the extra bit of support. 

"Parents always love me, it'll be okay," Taylor reassures as she grips Harry's hand. A breath escapes Harry's lips as he leads Taylor up to the front door of his old home. 

They don't stand outside the black door long before his mother opens it. "Harry, it's wonderful to see you," Harry's mom cheers. She brings Harry in for a hug. The smell of his mother's perfume wafts around the two as Harry accepts his mother's embrace. He towers over the woman who raised him, but, nevertheless, Harry always manages to feel like a child in her arms. 

"You must be one of Harry's... friends," His mother says once she pulls away. Harry watches as her eyes drift to Taylor who stands in the doorway with a smile plastered across her face. 

"I'm Taylor Swift, ma'am, it's a pleasure to meet you," Taylor responds. Harry finds his hand slipping away from Taylor's in the presence of his mother. Taylor doesn't seem to notice as his mother brings the girl in for a quick hug.

"Usually Harry brings along Niall, I'm surprised he's not here. Of course, any friend of Harry's is welcome! I'm almost happy you didn't bring Niall along, he never leaves enough pie for the rest of us... kidding, kidding! Come on in you two," Anne says as he opens the door a little more. 

Harry and Taylor slip inside the house. The sound of the door shutting behind them sends a shiver down Harry's back. Quiet chatter fills the foyer of the house as a couple of different staff members race up and down the grand stairs carrying various items. Surprisingly, Harry doesn't recognize any of the faces in his home. His father must've hired new staff since Harry's left. 

"Well look what the cat dragged in," His father's voice booms. Harry flinches slightly at the sound of his father's echoing voice. The man sits on the sofa in the open living room. Harry was never allowed in the room as a child and he's only ever been allowed on the couch for holiday pictures. 

"Don't insult cats, even they wouldn't want their mouth on him," Gemma sneers from across the room. His sister holds a clear glass filled with a purple-red liquid, probably wine knowing his sister. The bags under her eyes seem to have deepened along with her cheeks. The rehab must not have been doing as well as she lets on. 

"You must be Harry's sister, I'm Taylor," Taylor says nervously. Harry watches as his sister eyes Taylor before leaving the room silently. 

His father, however, has a different reaction. At the sound of the girl's voice, his father turns quickly to look at the two. "A girl? Whatever happened to the boy you brought last time. Lewis was it? Or Niall. I do enjoy seeing Niall," His father says. 

The sound of Louis' name makes Harry's stomach knot, but he forces himself to push through it. "Louis doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving. Taylor's my friend from school. Her family is back in Pennsylvania," Harry explains simply. 

"A friend or a girlfriend," His father asks pointedly. Before either of them can answer, a staff rings the bell for dinner. Quickly, Harry escorts Taylor into the formal dining room so they could avoid his father's questions. 

The chair that Louis sat in last time they were here sits unoccupied, ready for a new host. It's clean and scratch-free with a nice shine to it. Harry's chair has lost its shine over the years. He knows where some of the scuff marks are that he's made throughout his lifetime. 

Harry shows Taylor to her seat and she takes it without thinking. Of course, she wouldn't realize that it was Louis' seat. She sits in it as if it was any other chair at any other table. In some other world, it might be, but not here. 

Gemma takes her spot across from Harry and makes a devilish smirk at Harry from over her wine glass. Her eyes look even more sunken as she does and instead of being intimated by the look, Harry only feels a trace of pity for his sister. 

"Well, we'll get started just like we start every other Thanksgiving. I'll start," His mother explains. She takes Gemma's hand from across the table and gives her family a tender look. For a minute, Harry almost feels normal. 

"I'm thankful to have my beautiful family sitting with me today. I wouldn't have it any other way," His mother says. Harry's eyes flick to his father who eyes his mom carefully. Green eyes watch as the two's eyes connect. The nod that his father gives his mom is almost too subtle for Harry to notice, but he does. 

"I'm thankful for wine," Gemma cheers. 

Eyes turn to his father as he considers what he is thankful for. Usually, he doesn't say anything too ballsy as the staff is just in ear-shot, so Harry doesn't hold his breath as much as would at a normal family dinner. 

"I'm thankful that my son brought a girl for Thanksgiving. I guess this means he isn't a fairy after all," His father toasts. He raises his glass and takes a sip of it triumphantly. Heat begins to burn in Harry's stomach as his father's words register in his head. 

"I'm thankful for being invited today and sharing in your family traditions," Taylor says quickly, trying to move past Harry's father's statement as quickly as possible. As if it could be forgotten as soon as it was said. That wouldn't be possible. 

Harry's hands shake in his lap as he tries to keep himself calm. Who's he to make any sideways comments about Harry's life? He wasn't even there for most of it. A part of Harry is relieved that his father might forget the whole being gay thing now that Taylor is here, but another part is furious that it was an issue, to begin with. Maybe if his father had stigmatized being gay then Harry wouldn't be under such turmoil. He could experiment without feeling the bud of shame whenever he did. 

"You know what, I'm thankful for the trauma my wonderful, loving, gracious Dad has passed down to me in my 19 years of life. Cheers to you," Harry shouts. 

 ~_~_~

Oop Harry can't seem to catch a break, can he?