Borrowed Time

Twenty Three

➰

I couldn't stop thinking about everything. A whole week had surfaced since not only the conversation I had with Joy, but also the one I had with Janet.

And I still hadn't really spoken to either of them. I mean, Joy would still come by the house as far as Josiah was concerned. But, when she'd pick him up, she'd really only say hi to me, and when she'd drop him off I got nothing more than bye.

Janet had completely ghosted me, which I found to be quite ironic. When I ghosted her, she showed up to the salon preaching to me about how from there on out, we were going to discuss our problems as adults. Could've fooled the hell out of me.

Y'know, these women were acting as though I had wronged them, and part of me couldn't understand it. I mean, yeah, maybe there were things I should've been more clear and honest about, but I was not the only person in the wrong here. At least I didn't think I was.

Pulling me from my thoughts, sudden knocking formed at my office door, which was where I'd been. I was at the salon, supposed to have been preparing for it's reopening, but as mentioned, my mind raced inevitably, prohibiting me from doing so.

"Toni, I got something I need to tell you..." It was Mike, whom had entered after I told him to. As usual, he was at the shop with me. We had finally gotten everything renovated and situated, and the only thing left to do was to reopen. "Now I know you gon' be mad, I know this. But—"

"Mike, do you think I'm wrong?" I impeded whatever it was he had prepared himself to say. I should've given my focus to him, but I just couldn't. At least not until I knew I wasn't at fault for what was going on. "You know Joy ain't really talking to me right now, and I don't know how to feel about it. I mean, I guess I just miss her."

Mike stood at the edge of my desk, shaking his head from one side to the other. "Hell no you ain't wrong, and shouldn't nobody be making you feel like you are either." I knew I could ask him for advice and hear just what I needed to. One thing about Mike, he was always honest. "As much as Joyous Occasion gets on my nerves, she ain't nobody you just met off the street. You once vowed to spend the rest of your life with her, you got a damn right to miss her."

I breathed deeply, listening to what he said. He was right. I shouldn't have been ashamed to miss my wife. Besides, if there was anything I did deserve to feel ashamed about, it was surely not telling Janet about the intimacy Joy and I shared.
"I should've been honest to her about it, I am very well aware of that. But, Mike, I swear sometimes it feels like Janet isn't honest with me about anything."

"Yeah, I'm gonna need Big Booty Janet to decide which profession she wanna lie about," The man told me, crossing his arms above his chest. "Hell, next she gon' say she a damn Secret Service Agent."

I sighed, rolling my eyes to the rear of my head. "And I wouldn't be surprised if she did. It's like she knows how to trick my mind into actually believing the shit she says."

"Cause that's what liars and manipulators do," Mike replied, uncrossing his arms to shrug his shoulders. "They lie and manipulate." He faced opposite of me to peek out of the office, then turned to face me once more. "Okay seriously, Toni, I'll talk about this with you another time. I really came in here to tell you—"

But just as before, I dismissed his words to release my own. "But what do you think I should do? Janet ain't returning my calls, not answering my texts. I mean, I could try going by her apartment but what if she won't even open the door for me?"