Tethered North

Chapter 54

"It doesn't fucking matter what I feel!" Sam hisses. "I can't fucking work out my feelings for Mils, yet she, for some reason, likes you. You need to step up and admit that."

"I have," I reply gruffly.

"Not since your argument," he argues. "She deserves to be happy!"

"I'm not someone who can make her happy," I reply, finally spitting the truth from my lips. I'm an absolute mess, with way too much emotional baggage for a girl like Emilia to have to deal with.

"Why are the two of you so stubborn?" Sam snaps. "Fucking pull it together and apologise to her."

"I was planning on it before you stopped me going after her," I retort.

"Oh!" he exclaims, eyes wide as he looks up at me. "I didn't-"

"I don't think I'm what's best for Emilia," I admit. "I'm far fucking from it. You'd be someone that she deserves, someone who can treat her like the Queen she is. But I just can't drag myself away from her. I think of her all day, every fucking day. It's selfish but I'm not willing to give her up."

"You love her," Sam breathes out, clearly surprised by my words. I am too. Why the fuck am I spilling this shit to him?

"Whatever." I cough slightly. "Are we done here?"

"Go tell her." He shrugs. "I think you can make each other happy."

I nod at him, taking a larger step to catch up to the girls ahead of us before I falter slightly, turning back to him. "I need you to do something."

"What?"

"If something happens to me, get Emilia to the South."

"What? Zac!"

"Do it," I demand, a slight threatening tone to my voice. He looks over my expression, clearly noting my determination in it.

"Fine." Sam nods. "I'll try my best."

"Do whatever you can," I retort before turning away and storming towards the girls, hell bent on getting this over with as quickly as possible. As soon as Emilia and I are on the other side of that wall, it will be a massive weight off our shoulders, no matter what is waiting on the other side.

Within a minute, I've caught up to them. Heidi instantly notices me, choosing to duck behind and wait for Sam. Emilia doesn't dare look up, continuing to stride after Jordan and Kieran, her torch in her hand as she stumbles over a tree root. Why is this girl so fucking clumsy?

"Your heeled boots?" I scoff, noticing her ridiculous choice of footwear in the shine of the torchlight. She must have dug them out of the basement before we left Nottingham.

"It's what I know best." She shrugs in response before going silent once more.

"I have a feeling they will cause you more harm than good."

"Then it's a good thing I'm not your problem anymore," she snaps back and I roll my eyes at her stubborn attitude. She's so fucking hot, yet so annoying at the same fucking time.

"Emilia, talk to me."

"I have nothing to say."

"Well I do," I retort and she glances up at me quickly, her gorgeous blue eyes causing relief to flood through me.

"Why?" she answers, looking back to the floor as we walk.

"I'm sorry for what I said," I manage to say. "I didn't mean it."

"Which part?" Emilia asks, her gaze back on mine.

"All of it," I admit. "I was scared that... Fuck!" I exclaim, reaching up and trailing my hand through my hair. "I don't know... I'm a dick and no good at relationships."