You & I

4 (Edited)

As we walk through the door of the dressing room I heard Ashton yelling

"How could I fucked up this bad?"

I flinch as he throws a vase at the wall making it shatter to pieces."I would still have her if I didn't leave." Tears were flowing freely down his face. I was heartbroken seeing him like this, should I go comfort him should I just be happy that he is suffering? I can't let him be unhappy I may be angry at the boy but I still love him. I walked over to the couch and sat next to him putting my arms around him.

"Ashton, I need you to calm down, please don't beat yourself up over this. It happened three years ago you can't change it, I forgive you okay,  but you need to just let this go." I whispered as he looked up at me "That's the thing Kate I can't let go. I love you, I love you so much it hurts. I can't even think without knowing I was the reason you left today and when I  left three years ago I been causing you all this pain because I couldn't choose between you and the drugs. Kate this isn't something I can just let go I hurt you. I hurt the only thing that matters to me. I can't ever forgive myself." My heart throbbed at each word, leaving me speechless not knowing exactly what to say.

I was about to get up he grabbed my arm " Please stay, don't go." He pleaded. I looked into his eyes and saw the crippling sadness swirling in them. "Yeah, I'll stay for a little bit okay?" He weakly smiled and nodded his head. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap and laid his head on my chest."Kate, I tried to be a better person, and I tried to clean myself up but then I always had that lingering thought that I wasn't good enough for you, that's why I didn't come back. I didn't want to hurt you more than I already did, "He paused and continued "It hurt to watch you leave, I wasn't just this heartless bastard that didn't care if this girl I loved walked away. No, I'm the complete opposite. I didn't eat nor did I sleep then one day I met these lads, and they helped me clean myself up. I'm glad I did because now I am in this amazing band and playing my music and clean and, I got another shot at seeing you again." I'm feeling so much emotion and pressure right now It has rendered me speechless. "Ashton." he looks at me and slowly comes to my face. " Wait not now, Ashton. I can't I'm not ready and I'm scared and I'm going to need time I love you but, I don't trust you." He cuts me off by putting his soft lips on mine, I find myself leaning into him. His soft lips moving in sync with mine.

        "Ashton you know we can't do this," I whispered."Why not?" He replied. "I'm not ready I can't take another beating to my heart Ashton." He grabs my face looking deeply into my eyes trying to search for something. " I swear I won't hurt you again, I love you more than anything in the world." Should I believe him? I mean he is the reason for all this.  I don't know him well enough anymore he could be the same person I was with three years ago, but one thing I am sure of is I don't trust him right now. " Kate, please give me another chance." He pleaded.  What do I have to lose?

"Okay Ashton, I give you two weeks to prove to me that you are who you say you are I'll give you another chance, but if you are the same guy I was with three years ago you might as well say goodbye to me," I said in a serious tone. A smile occurred on his face and he pulled me into a hug. "Thank you so much" he whispered

        This is gonna be the longest 2 weeks of my life.