Pesy One Shots

Grateful

"So, what's up then? How come you don't wanna go out, it's not like you"

"Just wasn't in the mood you know? I just erm- God Leigh i don't even know what i'm trying to say"

"Jes? talk to me, what happened babe?" She says moving towards me to give me a cuddle and as soon as she puts her arm round me i break down and the story just spills out.

When i finally calm down Leigh speaks,

"Who the fuck does she think she is?! I love the girl but this is fucked, i swear the next time i see her-"

"You're not gonna do anything Leigh Leigh, i appreciate it babe, i really do but please just don't do anything, it's okay, it's how she feels."

"Jes.. she can't just do that! she can't just leave you like that with no explanation! She!-"

"Promise me Leigh"

"I promise" She sighs.

Leigh left around 11 when Andre came to pick her up, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Again.

As the days went on I couldn't bring myself to do anything. I could barely eat and I could barely get out of bed. She really hurt me that much. However, today i had too, it's the first day back at work after two weeks off and let's be honest, I look like shit. I look terrible and feel it too.

I got a text letting me know my driver was outside waiting for me so i grabbed my sunglasses and phone while heading out the door and into my car.

Once I got into the studio everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me as if they had seen a ghost.

Perries Pov

We were sitting in the studio waiting for Jes to arrive and i'm not gonna lie, i've been a mess. I messed up and I know I messed up, she's my best friend and God... i really am in love with her, there i said it. I, Perrie Edwards, am in love with my best friend and the only problem? I can't be with her. My mother is so homophobic Trump would be proud.

He's a dirty bastard if you ask me.

It was an internal battle i was fighting, whether or not to go and see her, fix things with her. In the end i didn't and i feel terrible don't get me wrong! but i just can't do it, my mams voice is always at the back of my head telling me i'm a disgrace and she won't ever love me if i dare to be with another woman. It would kill me if i lost my mam.

The room suddenly went quiet and when i looked up i seen why.

Jesy had just walked into the room, eyes red and puffy with bags under them looking like she hadn't slept properly in days and god she looked so skinny and frail, like if you touched her she'd break. Did i do this?

"Jes-" I started but was cut off by her just walking past me and going to greet Jade and Leigh,

"Jesus Jesy you look like shit! What happened?" i heard Jade say to her. Jesy just shrugs and looks over to me letting some tears fall,

"Well- i think we should get to work then" Jesy says wiping her tears and moving over to the table where we're writing today.

Throughout the session, Jesy has hardly spoke, she's just sat there staring at her paper, rubbing her temples, muttering something under her breath -which is most likely her favourite Missy Eliot song- and tapping her fingers against the table. It's her tic. She only does that when she can feel a panic attack coming and tries to calm herself before anyone notices but of course i notice.

The only reason i know of this is because one day she was tapping her fingers on the table and muttering something in the studio before she randomly stood up and left. I followed her that day, I found her in the bathroom against the door mid panic attack and after she had calmed, she told me i was the only one who knew and it's stayed that way ever since.