Wind Of Hope

T W O

T W O :

"They've promised that dreams can come true

But forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams, too"

- Oscar Wilde

*******

It took us two hours to reach the borders, two hours full of fear, tiredness and weakness. We finally felt relieved when we crossed them, turning the pages and starting all over again.

I still wonder how we did because there had been a time when I used to think that I would never be able to put my feet out of Syria and how they let us leave and cross the borders. Unfortunately, I was a small person, so all I could see was people and few big dark trees.

The sun was up and the soft wind was already blowing when we arrived at a camp. We had to wait so we could register as refugees. In a small room, there was a man sitting behind a desk.

"Salaam. I'm Ahmed, this is Hajja-Khadija; my grandmother, Aunt Bushra; my mother-in-law; Leilah is my wife and this is our baby girl; Aya and those are Rima and Umar; Aunt Bushra's children." He said to the man. He started writing some things down and before he could give us our cards, he lifted his head saying:

"Rima Fawzee?" I whispered a yes and he informed us that I had been registered as the 2 millionth refugee. I didn't know what to do next; I didn't know how to react. I felt special but I was sad too, being a refugee means being lonely and rejected and I didn't want that. I wished I could stop all of this, turn back time and stay forever in Syria, never leaving it. However, that was impossible because I had become a refugee.

We left the room and entered a tent that he showed us. It was a pretty small tent but the man told us that the next day, we would move to another house, larger.

It was an empty place, cold and pale. I didn't like it but had no choice. I lay down as the rest of the family was bringing our bags. Since I was exhausted, I fell asleep immediately.

******************************************************

I was running so fast, never turning back to see if they were following me. I was so terrified, feeling a heavy stone inside of my chest, not letting me breathe easily. My feet hurt and the rough ground was making things much more difficult.

Many bad thoughts crossed my mind; I pushed them away trying to focus on what was in front of me. Unfortunately the relentless steps behind me were close; they were going to catch me at any moment.

"I can make it. Yes, I can!" I cheered myself up as I entered a deserted place that seemed so familiar to me. I was pretty sure I had seen it somewhere before but didn't waste my time thinking about it. What caught my attention the most was its big trees as if they were about to devourer me. I fell many times but never stopped. I could hear gunshots but couldn't figure out who was killing who, who was the oppressed and who was the oppressor. I wanted to stop so I could breath but didn't because I didn't need oxygen; all I needed was to leave this place and run away.

I finally arrived in front of a scenic river and started wading through it thinking that I may flee the place after crossing. The fresh water was calmly flowing in a pretty long line across the land so I walked fast. After few seconds and as I was thirsty, I drank some of the water there. It was cold but tasted strange.

"Blood" I thought. It seemed weird to me so I tasted more.

"Yes, it's blood!" I cried out. I was shocked and terrified. I jumped out of my place but never left the blood river. I stayed there for a while unable to move.

"A river of blood! This cannot be possible!!" I had to leave the place so I started running away again. Knowing that I was inside of a bloody place made me feel horrified and frightened and I wished I stayed at home. I was still running when suddenly, something blocked my way.

I looked down at it and faced the most terrifying thing I had never faced before.

It was a dead body, a rotten cadaver!

"Ya Allah!!" I screamed as my eyes went wide open. I started panicking. That was it, the thing that made me out of my control, the small drop that made the cup overflow and flood, that changed the whole weather.

I tried to put some blood on the body so I wouldn't see it any more but that was impossible. The body looked stuck to the surface of the river. Nobody could take it away.

Since it was dark, it was hard for me to realize that it was a child. The only thing I could clearly see was his scary opened red eyes who were staring right at me.

Tears started streaming down my face. When I finally decided to leave the place and pretend I had never come here, something stopped me. I looked down then lifted my head and my breath stopped. Dead dark rotten bodies were all around me, staring at me. They all had red big eyes. I screamed with my entire strength making all the birds leave their small nests, flying away.

I couldn't take it anymore. The bodies were really scary. I couldn't breathe any more. All I was doing was crying my heart out. I was so petrified that I started shaking. The blood in the river got mixed with the scars' blood. I felt disgusted but stayed there, not being able to move.

I didn't hear the steps getting closer and closer, I didn't hear people calling names, I didn't hear the gunshots. My ears weren't functioning any more. Everything stopped in my world and there were only the dead people, blood and I. I didn't know what to do so I just stayed there, my feet stuck to the ground.

Suddenly, I heard someone calling from behind but didn't turn around to see who he was. He got closer and closer, saying:

"Hallelujah, we have finally found the little villain girl!" He said.

He entered the river and came behind me, I didn't turn around so he made me do it. I was speechless and my eyes were lost somewhere. I don't know what crossed my mind that time. Maybe I wasn't thinking about anything. He lifted my head up and forced me to look at him. I then came back to reality and realized that the man was a soldier. He was going to kill me for sure and I didn't want that. I tried to run away but he was holding me. I started hitting him knowing that would be pointless and futile, he would only feel my touch. He stopped, carried me and left the river.

I started begging, pleading to let me go. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone about this but all he said was:

"You'll join your brothers and give them company in the river"

I was crying and screaming asking for help, but the place looked deserted. I had one last chance to run away and survive. I hoped it worked. I knew he would catch me but a small glimmer of hope appeared n my eyes. Fortunately, he didn't see it.

As soon as we left the river, he put me on the ground while I was still crying. I tried to run away one more time but he put a gun right in front of my eyes and said with a firm and cold voice:

"One more move or one more word and you're dead!" I bit my lips so hard that I could taste its blood. I was looking at him and all I could see on his face was a lack of Mercy and compassion.

I breathed deeply one more time, all the good memories I still remembered from my life in Syria crossed my mind and I wished I didn't have to save the picture of the man as the last one in my life as I gave up.

******

"Rima, Rima! Wake up!" I heard someone shouting. I woke up with a start and faced Umar, my big brother. I looked all around me to realize that I was in a small caravan.