Wind Of Hope

O N E

O N E :

"There comes a time in life when you'll have to leave everything behind and start something new. But never forget the ones who stood by your side, especially the ones who never gave up on you" - Unknown

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« Do you know where we are going?" I asked Maysun as I looked down at her.

"I don't know either, but I hope it's a better place; where nothing is destroyed." I said playing with her hair. A slight and cool wind played with my hair as the soft breeze brushed against my cheeks.

"Rima!" I heard someone calling me from behind, I turned around to face Umar walking fast toward me.

"Come, the dinner is ready." Said my big brother. I could tell from his red eyes that he had been crying too. I nodded and followed him holding Maysun in my arms.

When we arrived, my mother was putting some rice in our plates while my sister was rocking her baby girl. I sat next to Ahmed as he was throwing some kindling on the campfire. I came closer to the fire and I started feeling warm, Maysun was feeling warm too.

"Bismillah" Said my mother as she gave us our plates. We started eating the bland rice, but since I was starving, I just devoured it.

The whole small family was silently sitting on cold rocks, except for the baby Leilah who was joining the other babies there with her cries. Although it was pointless, most of the mothers were trying to calm them while others just stared at nothing in silence.

No one cared why they were crying. They surely were afraid. Yes, of course they were. We were scared too, but at least, able to hide our fear and not show it, we could hold back our tears as much as possible because we were strong. However, I was sure that our strength wouldn't last forever and that we would end up crying sooner or later. Or maybe, those babies were just hungry and cold, who knows?

"Who wants more rice?" asked my mother as we gave her our plates. I shook my head and so did most of us.

"Leave some rice for my father; you said he's coming too." Said Umar.

My mother opened her mouth to respond but immediately closed it; no sound came out it. I stood up and started walking away. I could hear my mother calling after me and telling me to go back, but I didn't. I heard Ahmed telling her not to worry and that he was going with me. The next second, he was walking beside to me, I pretended as if he wasn't there and kept on walking, passing by many families, fear and anxiousness written on their faces.

I still had Maysun in my arms pressed again my chest when I arrived to the place I was earlier, so I sat on the first rock I saw. It was dark and few stars were glowing in the sky. The moon that used to follow wherever I went had disappeared that night somewhere. I guess he was sad and tired too, or maybe he knew where I was going which wasn't a good place for us so he left me alone. He surely didn't want to leave Syria, just like me, or maybe he wasn't following me but my father, and when he stayed there, the moon stayed with him too.

"Ahmed ..?" He was sitting next to a lonely tree, staring at the sad moonless sky. He looked back at me with concern.

"When will my father come?" I asked. His mouth opened trying to figure out what to say, but he was speechless. There was nothing to say, nothing to explain; everything was as clear as the sun in the midday. I would never see him again; the only picture I'll have of him would be him saying his goodbye to the whole family with a sad smile drawn on his face.

"But he promised he would never leave me alone!" I thought as my eyes got full of tears. I couldn't stop them and just let them fall. Ahmed realized my face was full of salty water and came closer hugging me, I hugged him back.

"Look, I'm sure he will come as soon as he can. So don't worry. He'll never leave you alone, he loves you, believe me." He took a deep breath then continued "Besides, I think you should be proud of him; he stayed there because he loves his country and he's protecting it. He's such a brave man and I'd give everything to be like him."

I stared at his downcast eyes and all I could see was hurt and sadness. I knew Ahmed never wanted to be with us at this time. "Defending his country and sacrificing for it is the best thing a man can ever do and ..." "And that's what you want." I finished where he stopped. He gave me a half doleful smile, sighed and stood up.

"We'd better go back; I'm sure they're waiting for us." I stood up too and followed him.

When we arrived, everyone was getting ready to leave. Few of us started putting out the fire camps while others grabbed the bags. "It was the best time to leave" I heard someone saying.

In our small family, Umar and Ahmed grabbed our bags, Leilah was still holding her baby who was certainly dreaming, my mother was helping another family to take their bags and I helped Grandma to walk since she was getting more and more fatigued. My grandma and I were the last one to start trooping into a deserted forest where the trees were really tall and old. It was scary since the branches seemed to be like thin hands of evil witches.

People were striding with long steps while I was simply toddling like a baby, dragging with me Grandma. I looked at the sky to discover that it disappeared behind the scary trees. I couldn't see the stars any more which made me more terrified.

"Rima! Pay attention that you don't fall!" Said my sister as she came closer to us.

"We can't see anything." My grandma informed her and Leilah asked Grandma to hold her by her sleeve as my mother took my hand. We kept on plodding slowly and heavily, running away.

We had been marching for miles when the morning came and the dark sheet slowly left the sky. It was true that I was weary and exhausted but didn't stop. We were on a hill when a man informed us that we were close to the borders; in a little while and we will arrive at the other side.

It was getting clearer and clearer, I could finally see where I was. I started looking all around me realizing how many people were there. I guess the whole city had fled the homeland.

I looked down at Maysun who was quite dirty. "It's fine. I'm sure everything will be okay as soon as we leave. At least, that's what everyone says" I tried comforting her with words I didn't believe in, with a smile that never reached my eyes. "And don't worry, when we'll get there, I'll get another eye for you, I promise." Touching her lone green eye, I whispered so no one would hear.

The man informed us one more time that we were getting closer and closer, information that wasn't really important nor useful for me since all I was doing was walking and walking and getting closer wasn't making me more nervous nor excited.

We left the forest and I turned around. I could see the whole place from there including the whole forest and some parts of our small city. I took a deep breath, maybe the last deep one in Syria, my native country.

I stared at the horizon wishing it never was; I wanted to see more things before I left, saving some memories in my mind and the horizon wasn't helping. The only sound I could hear was the wind blowing. Besides, everyone was silent, babies stopped crying and everybody walking and I wondered if the war had stopped too so we can go back home and never leave. I didn't care if most of the buildings were destroyed and burned out; we could build them one more time, couldn't we? I didn't care if most of my family was killed and that we hadn't found my cousins yet. I didn't care if there would be no schools for months. I didn't care if there would be no big mosques and that we would have to pray in our houses or in the destroyed streets. Having nothing to eat or drink didn't matter. Having no money neither. Being homeless didn't scare me at all even if it rained or snowed... As long as I was in Syria...

Syria is my beloved country. It's true that we were poor but at least we were happy and I guess that's the most important thing.

I'd never be happy outside Syria, never in a billion years.

"Never." I whispered to the wind.

I stared at the place and kept it saved in a special place in my mind. I breathed deeply one more time. "Yes, that's the last one" I said to myself wiping the tears that were streaming down my face away and turned around, leaving Syria behind.