Loving You's The Antidote || l.s. ✓

Chapter 21

"Deep breaths Harry, deep fucking breaths." He muttered to himself as he stood in front of the Tomlinson's door. He raised a fist, knocking on the wooden door quietly.

He kept his head down, looking up through his eyelashes as the door opened.

"Alright? Come in." Louis stood back, allowing Harry to walk past. He slipped off his shoes before following Louis into the kitchen gingerly. "Mum, Harry's here."

"Oh, Harry! Hi darling." She moved to hug him, he tensed up but quickly forced himself to relax.

"Hi." He replied quietly.

"Louis, why don't you go and see Phoebe and Daisy?" Jay shooed him away. Louis took the hint, nodding and leaving the pair alone. "Sit down Harry."

He did as he was told, looking at her nervously.

"I heard about what happened. How are you?"

In reality, he was no better than before, probably worse to be honest, but this wasn't reality. This was his life, he could make up anything he wanted.

"I'm good." He tried to smile convincingly, only to look as if he was in pain.

"No you're not." That was the thing about making stuff up. It may be what they want to hear, but it doesn't mean people will always believe it. "You're not good, and that's alright."

"I am." He squeaked, "I'm fine. Really."

"I hope you know I don't believe you. Are you seeing a therapist?"

"Um, I was when I was...away...but now only once a week just to see my 'progress' for another 3 weeks. Can't afford one." He admitted quietly.

"Doesn't your uncle think that it's important?"

Harry shook his head, "no. And even if he did there's no way to afford it."

"I think this is something you need Harry." She frowned, "I'll be happy to help pay for it."

"No." Harry said firmly, "no way. I couldn't let you."

"Sweetheart, you're obviously not in a good place. I don't want you to attempt again."

He looked to the ground, gulping. "But what if I don't want to be here?" He said, almost too quietly to be heard.

"Tell me why."

"I don't wanna talk about myself. Makes me uncomfortable."

"I promise I won't tell anyone anything. Not a word to anyone, not even Lou."

"Okay..." Harry took a deep breath. "B-but there's stuff I can't tell you because I didn't say it to anyone in the hospital or my therapist or anything."

"Why not? You should've. They're here to help you."

"Because they'd make it a bigger deal than it is. And it would all be a mess."

"You should tell them everything love."

He shrugged, "maybe."

"Tell me what you can now then."

Harry took a shaky breath in, "I-I've got anxiety and depression...and I, um, nobody likes me at school. And this is one of the things I didn't say, but we have problems with money."

"Why don't people like you honey? You're a sweet boy."

"I don't know...I'm gay and I don't talk and I don't know. They say I'm ugly and annoying and worthless and a freak." He mumbled, flushing at the fact that someone else knew. "And they used to hurt me."

"So they don't anymore?"

"No, not anymore. They trip me up and stuff but they don't beat my up."

"Have you told any teachers about any of this?"

"They don't care. They see it but they don't say anything."

"Pardon my french but what a load of bollocks. Tell me about your money problems."

"Um, my uncle doesn't work and I had to work two jobs but we were still poor, and then I lost one of my jobs and it was even worse and I don't know..."

"I'll happily help you out whenever you need it."

"Thank you but I can't. I'll feel awful."

"You mustn't."

"Mummy! I'm hungry." Phoebe whined, walking into the kitchen.

"Sorry mum, I tried to stop her but Daisy attacked me." Louis ran in, Daisy slung over his shoulder as she giggled.

"It's alright love. Dinner's ready now anyway."

"Oh thank god, these two wouldn't shut up-"

"Louis." Jay scolded, raising her eyebrows.

"Sorry," he huffed, "these two wouldn't ummm, they wouldn't be quiet?" Louis struggled to find a nicer way to say it, his mum with an amused look on her face.

"That'll do. Go and lay the table."

"Alright. C'mon munchkins, you can help me. You can grab the forks Dais, and you get the knives Phoebe." He told them as they opened the drawer. "That's it, 7 of each." He reached out, taking their free hands and leading them to the dining room table.

Harry let a small smile appear on his face as he watched the interaction.

"He's a wonderful big brother, isn't he." Jay beamed proudly. "They absolute adore him."

Harry nodded, "he is."

"You should go and sit down, I'll call the other girls in and I'll dish the food out."

"Okay." Harry nodded, plodding into the dining room. "Um, where should I sit?"

"Do you wanna sit here? The twins will have a fit if you sit in their chairs. Oh, and by the way, Fizzy will probably sit next to you. She has a massive crush on you."

"I'm honoured." Harry let out a small giggle, scraping out the chair and sitting down.

"You should be. She doesn't take a liking to many people."

Harry gave him another small smile as Louis sat at the end of the table, next to him.