In My Head ❌

In My Head-Part 13

A/N: Hello guys, I just want to thank you for all your support on this story and for all your wonderful feedback and comments. I am sorry once again for taking so long it was a hard week for me and it took longer than expected to write this. I am going to warn you that this chapter will be very mature and very dark, so read it at your own risk. I am not completely happy with this chapter but I rewrote it over and over and I finally just decides to post it. That being said I hope you enjoy and as always leave me some feedback and stay safe out there 💜

Ant's POV

"This is all your fault Anthony, you let Stephen die! I wish I had never met you, they were right you are bad luck!"

I felt tears in my eyes as I stared dumbly at the small sandy haired man yelling in my face, I tried to fight them and it took a few moments before I finally managed a response.

"Dec please! I'm sorry I didn't mean to kill him, I tried to save him! I tried to stop the bleeding but I couldn't, I begged him to stay with me." I cut off as tears rolled down my face and a lump formed in my throat, I tried to choke the lump down to speak but Dec beat me to it.

"You may have tried to stop the bleeding but where were you before then? Where were you when he was struggling Anthony? You didn't care about him, you promised him you wouldn't leave him and then what did you do? You left the room with me this morning and now he's dead! It's all your fault, you let him down Anthony just like you let me down just like you let everyone down! No wonder he wouldn't stay with you!"

I knew what he was saying was true but I never thought he would say it aloud, I started to cry in earnest now and I found myself sobbing out random apologies through my tears.

"I'm sorry Dec I'm so sorry. I know I let him down and let you down as well but please Dec give me a chance to fix things. I know I don't deserve it but please Declan."

I was looking at his face through my watery eyes and I watched as his normally kind and loving face twisted up in malice when he spoke.

"Sorry won't change what you did Anthony! It won't bring Stephen back and it won't change the fact that you are always letting everyone down. You're right you don't deserve another chance! I gave you one before and look what's happend! Face it Anthony you're a lost cause and it's time I cut ties before I get hurt just like Stephen did."

He turned and stormed out the door and I moved to grab his arm trying to stop him, I couldn't lose Dec I just couldn't, "Dec please don't do this!"

He turned to look at me and his face twisted in disgust, he grabbed my arm and shoved me backwards, "Stay away from me Anthony I never want to see you again, you should be the one who is dead right now not Stephen."

I froze at his words backing away from him and I felt the tears flowing freely now, I wanted to tell him he was wrong but I couldn't because I knew he was right everything he had said was right. I watched him leave and I could feel something inside me breaking, I  started to feel empty and hollow; like I was just a shell.