Masc

Chapter 7

December 25th, Christmas day. The sun is comfortably covered by a quilt of clouds, and the pavement is pale and ashy from the winter air. The Moore house is quiet. Only Aaliyah is awake. Their small Christmas tree was set up in the corner on a table in the family room. It's a fake tree, the family hadn't bought a real tree since Aaliyah was much younger. Real trees are too messy for their taste. Pretty blue, green, silver, red, and gold wrapped boxes were scattered on the hardwood floor beneath the tree. The boxes were all fairly small, no need for anything too big at this point. Big boxes often signified a toy or a 'household gift' was inside, but they didn't do that since Aaliyah had been 12. Only time there was a more voluminous box, was it for new pots or a kitchen set.

Aaliyah could be found in the kitchen preparing a bowl of Jiffy pancake mix. Although Christmas breakfast wasn't always her responsibility, she'd taken it on a few years ago when Santa Clause was officially fake. For breakfast that morning, she arranged for her and her parents to share an abundance of pancakes with warm syrup, greasy maple sausage, her special scrambled eggs, and a tray of Pillsbury biscuits to share. The sausage was browning on the stove progressively, as the biscuits fluffed in the oven, and she started flipping pancakes on the plug in grill. She plans on scrambling her eggs and while she butters her pastries and microwave the syrup. Same agenda as last year.

With her hands in her pajama pants pockets, she walked over to the dainty little green tree in the corner. Her parent's are on good terms this year, so the presents were slightly more than usual. 1, 2, 3, 4, almost 20 pretty little boxes around the side table. 17 to be exact. Aaliyah began to separate the boxes into groups, one pile for her mom, one pile for her dad, and one pile for her. 5, 5, and 7, in that order. Most kids might try to figure out what they got, but Aaliyah never did. Why bother making gift opening any less organic than it already was. She wasn't ever too excited and she definitely wasn't an actress, why make risk a let down or a bad performance, she'd think.

"Wake up!" Aaliyah shouts abruptly in the still house. "It's Christmas! Wake up!" She stood at the bottom of the stairs, yelling up to the master suite as she fiddled with the railing post.

Her public service announcement was followed by many moans, groans, creeks, and cracks as her parents ready themselves to come down. Soon enough, her parents tumble down the stairs wearing their typical evening attire [pajamas] and a smile.

Aaliyah makes her way back into the kitchen to fix everyone's meal on their own individual paper plate. Each person got two sausages, four pancakes, one scoop of eggs, and a biscuit to start with. Since Aaliyah was making the plates, she was very particular with each piece of food she saved for herself or spared for others.

"Come get your plates!" Aaliyah shouts even though her parents weren't that far.

"Thank you baby." Mrs. Moore makes her way into the kitchen and kisses Aaliyah's forehead.

"Merry Christmas to me!" Mr. Moore smiles while rubbing his hands together manically.

The Moore family eats and engages in mild conversation full of laughs, smiles, and pleasantries. After food they open the gifts together as a family. That went as usual, like a quiet ceremony. Minimalist clapping and cheering with appreciation and hugs at the end. Simple moments like this were special to Aaliyah, they were special to the whole family.

Later that week Aaliyah couldn't stop thinking about the array of gifts this year.

Many of the gifts weren't strange, cologne for her dad, perfume for her mom. A necklace for her mom, a watch for her dad. A gift certificate to one store or another. The gifts all seem fairly nice, but one thing Aaliyah received haunted her. She'd tell herself it was fine, but her mind kept shoving itself into a hole of deep dark doubts when she'd picture the gift.

It was a gift card for Victoria Secret. Aside from typical embarrassment of receiving a voucher for a bra and panty store in front of her dad, she found herself feeling shameful in another way. She couldn't help, but feel like that wasn't who she was or wanted to be. Aaliyah barely ever browsed in Victoria Secret, the thongs and cheeky underwear bargain bin never really felt like 'her thing.' She didn't want to feel prissy and girly, she wanted Calvin Clein boy short so she could pretend the waste band was boxers. Or even when she grew out of that, she'd still never care enough to go in the store.

It was getting late and she was tired. Impulsively, Aaliyah decided to redefine herself for the upcoming new year. She wasn't sure if it was right, but how wrong of a decision could it be? Aaliyah will be walking into the New Year as a new man, pronouns he/him.