The Hater and the Player

Chapter 8

| To accept or the reject? |

I stood there, agape at his calm stature while I panicked inside my head. It felt like there's a heavy boulder pressed on my heart as he continued his gaze on me.

His eyes were shrouded with a fixed emotion, those of fondness. He was taking me in, looking at every corner of my figure as his eyes take a brooding stance when he take a peek at my hands.

Gulping in nervousness, my hands were clammy in fear and a hit of anticipation can be seen as I gripped the thing I am holding.

Feng-er.

Just that one call evokes deep memories that I've tried a million times to forget. His tone was filled with a light and gentle tone that veiled the true meaning of his call.

It's been years since she heard him call her that way. That nickname that he gave to her, no one else has called her in that name, no one else but him.

Only him.

I was feeling conflicted as I turn my gaze to him. At last, amidst the ambient noise from the students, he was all I could see.

I wanted to say something and at that moment, I was called by one of my co-workers so I didn't waste any time and left him.

The last time I saw him standing, his eyes dimmed in disappointment and I couldn't help but notice the taut figure of his. I didn't comment anymore of my observation and just went off without saying anything.

Oh, how foolish of me to think that it's just a one time thing, but that's in the future.

...

After I went home, I parked my car on the garage and went straight to my room. I didn't want anyone to notice the conflicted look on my face, they'll ask and that's not really what I want right now.

I took a bath in hopes of calming my mind yet all I see on my mirror was his face. I can only imagine the turmoil on my head, exasperated at the thought of tomorrow, I scourged my phone.

I want someone I can talk to with what I'm feeling right now, at least I can share my burden to that person and whose more likely to end up on that?

That's right, Liu Ying, just saying sorry already at the thought of calling her this night. What can you say, they're a couple who loves each other deeply I bet the moon and the starts shy away at their public display of affection.

The call got through and I was suddenly blasted with a piercing sound that will definitely left a bruise on my ear.

"Have you gone insane! It's already midnight! Ah! Stop following me- Wei Xiu! It's a female- ah no! It's Feng Mian you doofus!"

Then she heard something along the lines of 'I don't believe it' and then sounds of things crashing and being thrown away.

Seriously, these two, what are they doing?!

"I'm sorry to call you, is it inconvenient right now?" She asked after a full minute of waiting.

"Oh, yeah, it's fine now. Wei Xiu's just sulking cause I didn't kiss him hehe~"

Wow, these two are really shameless. Feeding dog food at this time of the night, really itch for a beating.

"Where are you two now?"

"At Mt. Huangshan, it's so beautiful in here! Ah! I really don't want to leave but Wei Xiu still needs to go back. I bet there's a lot of paperwork on his way. Oh! We're also doing the love lock, it's something that Wei Xiu thinks as something cheesy but he's clearly delighted. Hmph! That dog man acting like a responsible and morally person!" I can hear Wei Xiu's grumbling as Liu Ying shut him up again with her words.

I chuckled at her words though it didn't dispel the thoughts swirling in my mind.

"Anyway, what's up? Why did you call this late at night?"

I hesitated for a second before telling her what happened earlier at school. Of course, after telling her, I moved my phone away just in time for her to release a very high pitched scream that can definitely wreck havoc at my ears.

"Really?! Oh my gosh! Then what happened?"

"That... I ran away from him"

And then I was met with another scream from her. She's very vigorous today and I couldn't help but smile at her response.

She's always like this, like the sun giving warmth to everyone. Smiling so bright and making every person liven up.

"So what would you do now?"

That...is something that I don't know to answer.

I'm stuck, I don't know what I should do, it feels like I'm in highschool again. Even as years passed by, there's still a shadow of fear of getting my love ones to look at me in disappointment. It's a constant fear and for that, I will always do things in a rational way, thinking of pro's and cons rather than what I truly feel.

"Do you remember the time where I was hesitant at accepting Wei Xiu's feelings- oh shush Wei Xiu! We're having a girls talk! Anyways, you remember giving advice to me right? You said who knows what the future holds? That I should take the chance to accept him and look at us now! We've been together for eight years and is now engaged!"

Her tone was filled with delight and love, even though I can't see her, I knew she spoke the truth and her eyes are filled with love for him.

"But...he's someone who's famous, someone that has a lot of scandal with actresses and models and is being shipped with numerous CP from his fans. I don't...I can't measure up to them. I don't even know if I have the chance nor the right. I...I rejected him, remember?"

My throat constricts in pain, I knew that it was entirely my fault. I let him go, told him to forget about his feelings and cut off any communication with him.

I heard her sigh on the other line and continued.

"You know that he had a lot of peach blossoms on highschool right? Yet he chose you, of all the beautiful flowers in the school, someone like you who hates a player like him, amazingly got him to fell in love with you"

That's true, but there's still something that's holding me back. She seemed to notice my silence and ask me again.

"What's your decision? It's up to you, you know? Forget about your worries and decide, I think you'll know the answer after taking out the external factors"

"Mm...thank you Liu Ying. Have fun together with Wei Xiu! Tell him that I'm sorry too for disturbing the two of you"

"No, no! It's fine! Bye Feng Mian! Update me okay?" I smiled at her enthusiasm.

"Mm, thank you again and goodnight" I end the call after that and went to bed.

My mind has already calmed and I can finally sleep without any trouble. I now know what to do after hearing Liu Ying's thoughts and advice.

I just need to decide with my heart since I've been deciding based on what I deem is right, with rationality and without considering my feelings.

This time, I'll decide.

Notes:

• Dog food, means along the line of PDA.
• Mt. Huangshan, Anhui- the most famous mountain in China, and perhaps the most romantic one as well. It is famous for the oddly-shaped rocks, peculiar pine trees, sea of clouds, hot springs and winter snowscapes.
• Love lock is an activity in Mt. Huangshan, Anhui that couples do. Putting your locks on the chains and throwing the key into the valley, symbolizing, according to legend, that no one will be able to break your bond
• CP means, internet slang describing couple in movie or TV series.
• Peach blossom means symbol for romantic relationships in Chinese culture

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