Friend Of The Dead

Lovers Be Lost

I once wondered how hard it would be to kill a vampire. As a human, the notion was very estranged to me, when the only knowledge I had about the creatures came from my own conclusions about my sister's odd boyfriend and his family.

The question was spoken into the space between us one night by Dorian as he lay next to me on the bed, his fingers drawing whimsical shapes on my neck.

"What do you think kills a vampire?"

It was a perilous thought at the time, but there was an edge of innocence to it that now made it bittersweet. Those moments are the one I long for the most, the times where we based assumptions on measly amounts of information and theorized and wondered and smiled at each other when our answers strayed from any form of logicality.

It had seemed so impossible at the time, vampires were situated in an indestructible bubble in my mind and I had been so sure that there was nothing on earth that could kill one.

Jasper proved me wrong.

The monster could be killed by its own kind.

As a child, I'd wondered about what was in my future a lot, but nothing such as my current situation ever crossed my mind. I was a vessel of colossal strength and anger, geared up with a motive and backed up by my coven, and I was heading into battle.

The possibility of being torn apart by one of the newborns didn't bloom in my mind. When you're driving down the path of revenge you don't see any obstacles in your way, it's a tunnel vision simply focused on the person you want to destroy. But as we made our way into the forest to hunt whilst Edward and Bella stayed back at the house, I couldn't help but think of the possibility. With Edward away from us I was free to think, and I thought of what it would be like if all of Jasper's training wasn't enough, and I ended up one of the many torn apart newborns once the fight was over.

The simple thought of it made my body simmer, I couldn't die, not yet, not before I ended her, not before those ruby eyes looked upon me and widened horribly with the realization of her downfall. It was a funny contradiction to my previous desires, I was so adamant on dying the way I wanted, being turned into a vampire was a horrible twist that I never asked for nor wanted. I begged Erlend to kill me, to end me, so I wouldn't have to live an eternity without Dorian by my side, and yet, I was unwilling to die now. I had one last mission I needed to accomplish, one last dragon to slay, so I could set my soul free from Forks and all it did to me.

Jasper was ahead of me as we ran, I could see the mischievous smile on his face as he turned and growled at Emmett. They playfully pushed each other and whooped and laughed, Alice and Rosalie weren't far behind them. I realized that I was slowing down as I watched my supposed family, Esme and Carlisle holding hands sweetly as they ran together, Jasper and Emmett mock fighting like they were actual blood brothers, their wives not far behind them. Rosalie's words from a few days ago echoed in my mind.

"Our family stands together, no matter what."

They really were a family; anyone with half a brain could see it. But it took them how many years to get here? A point where they're willing to go to war for one of their brothers who fell in love with a human. Rose sounded sure that one day I would be like her, despite my starting out with a huge ball of resentment in my chest mostly directed at them, one day I wouldn't even question the notion of going to war for one of them. How far away was that day, a year? A decade? A century? All I had now was time.

I tried to convince myself that the only reason I was willing to take part in this was because of a certain red-head I wanted to fight, and for a while, I was truly convinced. However, pre-battle thoughts seem to take on a realistic turn, things that I'd stopped myself from thinking about for days were present in my mind like a ghost unwilling to go away.